[KCMomma]

So I went to dinner tonight with two girl friends from college and at the end of dinner the one who is (I feel horrible saying but she's overweight) and has only been TTC for a few months just blurted out that she's 7 weeks pg. I pretended to be happy (which deep down I am)! It's just so unbelievably hard. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out and have been all the way home. I just don't get it...it's not fair. Why does it seem to happen for everyone else, but not me.....

The first thing I wanted to do (after I called my DH) was talk to you guys. I feel like you guys are the only ones who truly understand. Everyone else just tells me "Oh it will happen. It's just not your time right now!" I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm so upset right now I don't even know what to do with myself.

I don't want to feel like this. I want to be happy for others who get pg. I don't want to be upset. I don't want to be "trying" so hard. I just don't know how not to, ya know??? I just want it to be my turn! Some days, it's all I can think abouit. I don't want to be obsessed with it, but don't know how not to be. Please tell me others feel this way?!?! Anyway, thanks for listening guys.

[caseyb]

I feel the same way...so Ditto.

Ditto ditto ditto.

and another ditto too.

You just described exactly the way I feel about TTC right now. It's no longer fun and exciting.
Sorry that we have this shared experience, although I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm losing my optimism as well.

[snsgirl336]

I'm sorry that you are having a rough night. I know there is nothing that I can say that will make you feel better. Just know that I've been in your exact place many many times. I never thought I'd be the type of person who got upset when someone I know and love told me they were pregnant, but I am.

I hope that we all get our turns very soon as we've all put in more than our fair share of trying and waiting. I'll be thinking about you and hoping that you feel a bit better soon.

[*becky*]

Oh honey...I'm so sorry. We have ALL been in that place. It sucks to feel that way...even when its a complete stranger - its hard to hear that someone else had success in something you have been trying so hard for. I'm glad your friend was at least TTC...that makes it a **little** easier to swallow.

Unfortunately you are in good company here...we are all tired of hearing "just relax, it will happen" and other advice that people think they are giving us.

I hope venting to us helps a little...you will always have us to talk to and we definately understand. (((Hugs))))

[Celry]

You're not alone. I had a really bad day today and debated earlier if I should post about it or not. My sister is due to have her second kid in about 3 weeks. She sent me pictures today of her belly. She has the cutest pregnancy belly and I am so happy for her, but it makes me sad. I'm losing hope that DH and I will have biological children. Seeing her almost done with her pregnancy really makes me ache. She wasn't even trying for a second one yet, but just wasn't preventing after she stopped breast feeding her first. She didn't even get a period and was pregnant again. I wonder why it can't be that easy for all of us. DH and I had been trying for almost 9 months when she announced her pregnancy. I was so excited for her, but cried that whole day and 2 days later when I saw her. I cried again when I saw her in May and saw what a beautiful little bump she had. I expect to cry again when I visit her after her baby is born. TTC can become very painful and frustrating. I just try to keep focusing on the positive things I have in my life and don't allow myself to dwell on this. I can be sad and have a few down minutes here and there, but then I kick myself back into normal mode.

Hopefully you're like me and most of your days will be good days and you'll be able to celebrate your friends pregnancy.

[Emilymac]

I'm so sorry for your sad day. We ALL have felt the emotions that you are feeling. I hope that it helps to vent.

[KCMomma]

Thank you to everyone for such nice comments. It truly does help! It just makes you feel like a sane person again when others feel the exact same way. You are right it does make it a ****little***** better that she was in fact TTC, but still hurts all in the same sentence. Thanks again for listening and letting me vent. Your thoughts truly helps a ton!!!!

[samspain]

I know how you feel, my SIL has a 12 month old, and my sister a 7 month old, both have told me in the past couple of weeks that they are considering #2. part of me is happy, but I am scared that they both concieve and have #2 and I will still be ttc#1. I know its mean but I hope I get pg before them.

[babyblue]

Gwen, I am so sorry, but we have all been in the same boat and we understand!!

Literally everyone I am close to is pregnant or just had a baby.

At one time this past spring I had 14 (not kidding) friends and family members who were pregnant. Me and DH went to babies-r-us and spent over $500 on baby gifts for all the showers I have coming up, and I am not exaggerating. I am co-hosting a shower this Saturday and another the following Saturday. One of those that hurt the most was my SIL & DH's brother who had a little boy in Apr 07. I saw them at Christmas last year right after I miscarried and they didn't say anything, but apparently she was pregnant again accidentally- didn't know you could get pregnant when you are nursing - so they called and told us in January. WE happened to be at the airport about to fly out to Chicago to visit friends, and I just lost it and almost didn't make our plane. We arrived in Chicago that night and our friends we were visiting took us to dinner and told us they were unexpectedly pregnant with number 2. It was just an awful time for me to have to act happy and excited (and I really was happy for them) and not so sad for myself. It was horrible.

So I just want you to know, you can always vent to us, b/c we so understand how hard it is and I feel like you, trying to conceive is not fun at all. It shouldn't be this way for any of us.

[the1urlookin4dr]

AH, I DEFINITELY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE DISSAPPOINTMENT OF MY AF GETTING HERE EVERY MONTH. AND TO TOP EVERYTHING ELSE, MY DOCTOR HAS VACATION SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE HIM 45-50 DAYS FROM NOW. ITS THE WORST.

DONT LOSE HOPE THOUGH, IT WILL BE YOUR TURN SOMEDAY. BABY DUST TO U.

[DoulaMama]

I'm so sorry. I recently heard (from my DH) that his co-worker's GF is pregnant- it was really hard for me, worse when he didn't understand why I was crying. She has a daughter, and has so many issues with her father, and the guy she's dating... I just don't know if they'll make it.... he's very anti marriage, and I feel like she forced the pregnancy to get him to marry her. Big suprise- they're getting hitched in september....

I just feel like we deserve it so much more, but I also feel so selfish and mean. It's horrible to feel that way.

[KCMomma]

WOW I had no idea so many of us felt the exact same way. It is so reassurring!

Babyblue~WOW you really have to be a strong person. 14 people??? I can't believe you spent that much money!?!?! Stay strong. Honestly hearing your story made me feel a little better. You have it much worse.

I just have about 5 friends all TCC right now! Which is hard enough. Kind of makes you not want to talk to them, ya know?!?!


Hurt&Sad~OMG your doc is gone for a long time. First off~ must me nice to be able to take off that long! Second~ I may find another doc unless you have been going to him/her for a long time. Just my opinion.

Cherylk~ you are not being selfish at all. I completely understand how you feel. I often feel the same way. I'm a detective and I often see people that have many many kids that dont' take care of them and really don't even want them. I literally had one woman tell me that she had more kids to get more welfare!!! I wanted to strangle her!!!!

I love that I can vent to you guys! Thanks again!!!

[*becky*]

I often see people that have many many kids that dont' take care of them and really don't even want them. I literally had one woman tell me that she had more kids to get more welfare!!! I wanted to strangle her!!!![/b]

This makes me ill...it seems to happen alot these days.

[SavaAngel]

I am right there with you. Someone in my PR who wasn't trying that hard got pregnant right away and I balled for at least half an hour after reading that post!

[babyblue]

WOW I had no idea so many of us felt the exact same way. It is so reassurring!

Babyblue~WOW you really have to be a strong person. 14 people??? I can't believe you spent that much money!?!?! Stay strong. Honestly hearing your story made me feel a little better. You have it much worse.[/b]

You are sweet.. but I don't feel any worse than anyone else here. It is so terrible that we all have to be here- all in different situations but so similar. It was a running joke with my co-workers b/c I literally was finding out people were pregnant every day. I had a friend from college email me out of the blue to tell me she was pregnant. It was like I had a radar that was attracting all the pregnant people to me. I know that sounds dumb but I think probably many people here feel that way or one time or another. It is so hard too- the worst thing I hear is people making little comments like, "isn't it about time you make Mason a big brother".. oh, that just really sets me off! People really have no idea.. except the wonderful ladies on this board- we all know what it is like.

I am glad I could make you feel a little better. Hang in there- it will work itself out in the end!!

[dng]

This post is just what I needed. My SIL is griping about how bad it sucks to be pregnant (with her third). The day I started my new job, someone at work made their big announcement that they were pregnant. Randy and I got married the same year as three of his other cousins (all from the same side). I feel the pressure of all of them getting pregnant too. I hate seeing the stories about people leaving their kids in the car in the heat. I ask God all the time why people like that are blessed with children. I really have lost hope. It is so wierd to me that I still have meltdowns when AF shows because that is exactly what I expect.

[branbran345]

I am right there with ya. August marks the beginning of the 12th month of ttc for us. One of our good friends just had a baby in July and it was so hard. They had been trying for 18 months so I could not be happier for them. My sister, on the other hand, didn't want anymore kids and is due in November. I can't be around her. She is still a spoiled brat and I don't like her. She makes comments that just tick me off. Four other people that we know are pregnant, but thankfully, we don't see them often. My other sister and another friend are going to start ttc in the next few months and I don't know what I will do if they get pregnant before me. My sister just hangs her clothes next to her husband's and she gets pregnant. It is so frustrating.

Dh has been ok and understands how hard it is. We want a large family and the longer we ttc, the shorter the time to get that. I think he is just as frustrating with it as I am, but he hides it.

[KCMomma]

That's funny! "She hangs her clothes next to her DH and gets pregnant!!" LOL!!!

Speaking of pg people making comments that tick us off...........my friend that I was talking about evidentaly told my other friend "Well, Gwen (that's me) has only been charting for like 2 months so........." *** is that supposed to mean??? I know I've only been charting for a short time (and it's been 3 months by the way), but we started TTC 10 VERY long months ago.....I wanted to strangle her!!!! I just know how she's gonna be. She's gonna want to complain about her symptoms and that will absolutely drive me crazy!!! The night she told me she was already complaining that she couldn't drink....I was like I would give up drinking for my entire life if I could just be pregnant right now!!!!

As sad as it is, I think I may have to distance myself from her for a bit - at least until I can come to terms with it.

[SavaAngel]

As sad as it is, I think I may have to distance myself from her for a bit - at least until I can come to terms with it.[/b]

I have had to do that exact thing. I seriously thought about skipping AJ's playgroup so many times, but I go just so he can play with his friends. There are 5 people in my 8 member playgroup that are due with their second (we all had our firsts around the same time) and one of the 8 has a one month old. I can barely talk to them cause it is always "oh the baby is kicking me" or "I can't believe I am so big", etc."

On of them is complaining about showing at 9 weeks. I just want to tell her I would take the showing in a heartbeat if it meant I got a baby at the end of all of it. If you wanted it so bad, shut up and enjoy it! LOL I had to walk away and get my bearings together before I burst into tears in front of everyone (it was at a birthday party). But I don't feel right asking them not to talk about it. I guess I will have to not go if it comes to that.

[ShannonMVT]

I'm with all of you. It's hard because I don't WANT to feel jealous of others but at the same time I can't help it. I think it's completely normal to feel sad when it seems like everyone but you is getting pregnant.

Right now my SIL is preggo and is SO SO SO horribly not ready to be a mom. It's really sad. So in one way I'm glad that I don't have to "happy for her" because no one is really happy about it. But on the other hand it makes me mad that she is so irresponsible and yet she is getting a baby and I am not.

Speaking of funny comments about fertility, this one did make me laugh....my mom and 2 of her siblings were all born in June. She said my grandpa used to joke, "I got to where I was scared to hang my pants on the end of the bed in September."

That one's only funny because I love my grandpa so much. All the ones from people I don't really know get on my nerves.

"He just looks at me and I get pregnant!" Gag me!