[TTCagain]

Ok, so when I was 20--I got PG quite unexpectedly with my DD. I was in college, wasn't married--didn't get married--and haven't heard from the "dad" in 5 years. (My DD is 6.5)

Whatever. It's fine. I've been with my DH for almost 5.5 years...my DD knows him as her dad, and she is happy, well-adjusted and everything worked out beautifully. I love my daughter, my husband, and my stepson more than words could ever say.

Now--I am 28, and TRYING to get pregnant, trying VERY HARD, and it's not happening. I am trying to remain optimistic---statistically, I know that there is probably nothing wrong--that it will happen when it happens, not to rush nature, etc. I'm ovulating, ovaries look good, LP is 14 days...everything so far looks a-ok.

But I can't help but worry.

So--I was at the gym this morning and there is a mom of QUADRUPLETS who works out at the same time I do. Her quads are in kindergarten at my DD's school---this mom and I are pretty friendly.

I've spoken with her about fertility issues--she conceived her quads through IVF.

Obviously, DH and I are not to that point yet, but I was talking with the mom this AM about my appt. with the RE. And I mentioned to her how it is hard for me lately when I see pregnant women...or when I hear about womeng getting pregnant so easily/accidentally.

She said to me that when she was struggling with infertility--someone in a support group she attended told her that whenever she saw a very young pregnant mom, she should remind herself that the baby would not be that woman's GIFT but would be her BURDEN. That it wasn't a blessing to that woman the way it would be to her.

UGH. I hated to hear that.

My DD is 6.5 and she is the BEST GIFT I have ever received....I wanted her from DAY ONE, despite the fact that she wasn't planned and that my pregnancy didn't come under "ideal circumstances." I was blessed to have a supportive family that enabled me to finish college, not have to work to pay the bills while I was finishing school, etc. So maybe I can't really say how I would have felt had I had a tougher road...

But I just don't think anyone can ASSUME that a baby is going to be a BURDEN for someone.

I didn't say anything to the mom this AM because she totally didn't mean anything bad towards me---and I really like her. Plus, I can't say Iknow what it's like to struggle through 3 years of infertility....

But it was just interesting/slighlty upsetting, but also eye-opening to hear her comment...

[spanisheyes06]

hey
i understand you. a lot of my friends have just had babies or about to, and most of them were unexpected. but the mothers were completely excited about their pregnancies (even tho some occured right out of high school) but it just drives me crazy to see women accidently get pregnant and all they do is complain about how they have to deal with it and how its messing up their lives and its not what they wanted. beacuse there are so many women out there that DESERVE to have children and cant. it just really erks me to see that they cant see what a blessing they have in front of them. ok so now im probably ranting but i just wanted to back u up cuz i feel the same way.

[Bakin8th]

WOW! as a Doula who works with teens exclusivly. I have to say that kinda turned my stomache. Babies may not be always at the best time but for most they are not a burden regardless of age or whatever.

Very sad but Hey whatever works to help one cope with their situation.

[snsgirl336]

I can totally understand how that would bother you. It bothers me to hear that. In my opinion, a baby is a blessing no matter how or why or when it's conceived. Some people just don't realize that and that breaks my heart.

Not everyone sees things the way that you or I or anyone here might, and I think that's ok. The way I like to think about it is if the world didn't have differing opinons, the world would be a boring place. I just wish that some people would keep their opinions to themselves- especially if it would prove to be hurtful to someone else.

[SavaAngel]

That would bother me!

I am sorta in your same situation. We weren't trying for AJ when we got pregnant but were just as happy that we were expecting as if we had been trying, ya know. Now we really want another baby and are having issues. In my case, I think I have a hormonal imbalance though I haven't been tested for it. My OB did put me on clomid because of my spotting.

[drewbears]

oh wow.

I cannot stand that people ASSUME things!!!!!

Im sorry girl, that was insensitive of her.