[Jessica C]

As you can see in my ticker, AF showed up on Wednesday. She is no longer considered "family" in our house (aunt) she is now formally known as "the B@*#h". I was very hopeful this cycle because of the Clomid and I thought we had timed BDing pretty well, but I guess it wasn't meant to be this cycle. I've taken it pretty hard so that's why I really haven't been on the last couple of days, plus a couple other things have kinda hit pretty hard....but I'll explain in a bit.

I really had no real idea that she was showing up. Non of my normal preAF symptoms were there, so that had me hopeful. When my temp dropped on Sunday, I had an idea she was going to be there later that day or Monday - right on schedule as my LP is usually 13/14 days and my cycle is 27/28. But when my temp went back up on Monday I was surprised and my hopes started to climb again. Than it went back down on Tuesday and still no AF. Boy was I hoping for an increase in temp on Wednesday, but it plumetted. Sunday thru Wednesday's temp I really wasn't too sure about since I kept waking up between 3 and 4:45 (normal temp time is 4:30/5) so I wasn't relying on them too much. At any rate, I was a couple days late and hopeful. DH and I had not talked too much about what we would do next. But, we did that night.

So, Wednesday evening we talked about what the percentages were of us getting pg without Clomid (approx 5% is what I'd read). And after talking with the doctor (had to get Clomid rx) and getting a "rough" idea of what the increased chances were with Clomid and IUI - ammo for getting DH to agree to IUI this cycle instead of next. I told DH that chances increase to about 10% with the Clomid and approximately 25% with Clomid and IUI. Now, these are rates for someone my age.....not you young chicks. DH is very worried about our current financial situation with the economy and him getting ready to get laid off for the winter, and he's also looking at our ages and kids and wanting to be able to do things with them still. I have to get some more hard numbers, but we are looking at potentially $1200 per IUI - he's also nervous of getting those "extras" on the bill that you never expect and pushing that number higher, so in his mind he's thinking that each IUI will cost $1500. After our talk, it was decided that because the chances of getting pg are so low without help and that we aren't getting any younger that we'll do the IUI this cycle (I'm still nervous and in shock). I told him that we need to think about doing it again if it doesn't work and he's thinking "no, if it didn't work the first time what makes me think it'll work a second time and if we do a second and it doesn't work then why not a third and then a fourth...when does it stop". I told him I had thought all along that we would have to come up with a time of when we should just stop trying and give in. And, besides, I explained that I O from one side and then the other and it wouldn't be fair to do IUI on one side and if there's a problem with that side that we don't know about we should give the other side a try, but he's being skeptical. We had already decided that IVF is not an option as we just simply cannot afford it, so IUI is our last hope.

I'm hoping and praying that it works this cycle as I'm not sure if he's going to be willing to try another after that. So, in my mind I've kinda set our "deadline" as being 2 more cycles, which is very, very hard to take. Poor BeckyM was trying to keep me calm yesterday via text when that dooming thought hit me. Thank you so much, sweetie!! I'm still almost positive that it's my lack of CM that is the whole issue, so I'm hoping that the IUI will work since it bypasses that. We so very much want to have a biological child of our own, but are also adult enough to know when we need to stop. If we can't do it on our own then we'll look into adoption. Which is the other thing he said, if we can't do it on our own the money we will be spending on IUI could help go towards the cost of adoption.

I need to call the doctor's office this morning and get a little bit more information. I start my round of Clomid tonight for the next 5 days. I'm supposed to start folliscans on cd10 (Friday, Nov 7th) but I'm going to see if I can hold off until cd11 as I'm not in town on cd10. Anyway, will know more hopefully today, but folliscans starting cd10 (or 11) until they are 20mm then HCG trigger and then IUI the next day. So, IUI is potentially on Tuesday, November 11th. I'm scared, nervous and shocked.....but mostly scared - of the procedure and "what if".

Sorry this was so long girls, but I felt like I needed to update you. Thanks for listening. I'll do my best about getting on later and getting caught up and getting our Chart Stalking Room going. I'm sure my mood didn't help any with the fact that yesterday while I was in WalMart waiting for rx to get filled I went back and looked at baby furniture......that was a pretty dumb move given my emotional status already. Thanks again girls!!

[~April04~]

I'm sorry AF showed hun. I know Clomid can lengthen your LP so maybe that's what happened with you?. Lot's and lot's of luck for your IUI, it's really pretty simple.. after the trigger shot the area will be a little sore, so be prepared for that... the actual IUI is only a little uncomfortable, but not bad at all... I didn't get the trigger until CD 15 and the IUI was on CD 17..

lot's of baby dust.

[Celry]

I'm sorry the B@*#h showed. DH and I are in the same boat as you, so I feel like I completely understand what you're going through. My RE seems to think 3 IUIs is the right number and I doubt she'll do any after that. That means I may only have 2 more cycles at this. I'm hoping she'll do 3 IUIs on injectables if need be and not count the one on clomid.

Hopefully your first IUI works and you don't have to worry about moving onto a second one or any thing else.

[richmond_girl]

I'm so sorry about this cycle!! I was laughing reading how you "disowned" AF though - that was great!!

I hope the IUI works for you. I am praying for your well-deserved BFP next month!!

Also, I had very little CM as well - in the first 8 cycles we were TTC, I only saw EWCM once. I started taking 2tsp of guafinesin (cough syrup) twice a day and since then I've seen PLENTY of EWCM each cycle!! You might want to try it. It's cheap and it's safe (just make sure the only active ingredient is the guafinesin). I take it from Day 10 to Day 20 (I usually O around Day 17 or Day 18). The first month I started the guafinesin, we got pregnant (although we lost it at 5 weeks.)

Good luck!!

[~*Jackie*~]

I'm sorry the witch showed for you... My LP was 14 days before Clomid and 17 days now, so that's probably what lengthened it for you.

I really really hope the IUI will work for you THIS cycle and you won't need to worry about anything more down the road.

[~Lynda~]

hey jessica, i'm glad to see you here. i was getting a bit worried. sorry the ugly witch showed. i've been where you are a many a times. she fooled me many times too. it stinks, and i'm sorry!!!!! i'm glad you've got a plan. that makes the process a bit more bearable. best of luck to you and don't be scared. God will take care of you hun!!!!! HUGS

[KDD]

*lurking*

Good luck with the IUI Jessica. I hope that you only need the one treatment!

[snsgirl336]

I'm sorry about this cycle Jessica... Although I do like the way you are kicking AF from the Family tree! I hope that this is the only time you'll need to do the IUI. I'll be saying lots and lots of prayers for you!!!

[Jessica C]

Thanks girls!! I can't believe that it's all only about a week away. I'm scared that it won't work.

[SavaAngel]

I know how it is when you don't get any AF signs and you are sure it worked this cycle and you are so positive and hopeful. I was absolutely crushed when AF showed this time.

I hope IUI works for you the first time and you get a biological child. You can always adopt if you want more children too. Good Luck!