Do you wanna bet that AF will be showing her ugly face tomorrow or Sunday with me? Even tho I've disowned her from my family. Test this morning was a
, I shouldn't have even tested since my temp went flat. When my temp is flat at this point then I know AF is on her way in a couple of days. Almost every one of my charts are the same for the last 3 days of it, 2 flats then a plummet.
I had such high hopes for this cycle, being an IUI cycle. I just know that our problem has been a lack of CM, so I figured bypassing that problem would result in something good. Now, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. We originally had decided to only do 2 months of IUI's, then when this one ended up costing so much less than we expected we decided we'd do 3, especially since that'd put us at the 1 year ttc mark. Before we did the IUI, I got costs on what everything would be and I was told the sperm wash was $32. I get a notice from the clinic saying that is was billed out at $172! So, I'll be making a phone call today to find out if the price went up or if it was coded wrong. If the price went up, I wonder if the other items went up as well. I told them I needed the prices so we could budget this thing and didn't want any surprises. SURPRISE!!!!
And, to top all of this off.... The other day we found out that a friend of ours....well, she's more like the girlfriend, maybe ex-girlfriend of a friend....I don't know what their status is now....got knocked up on a one-night stand that she had while they were split up a couple of months ago (last we heard he may raise the child as his own....love is a funny thing). A one-night stand!!! And here we are ttcing for almost a year and that happens!! I've been doing my best to try and keep it together, but when I saw that flat temp this morning AND the BFN...... After testing I crawled back into bed and just layed there crying. I didn't want to wake DH, he hates to see me cry and his hopes were up pretty good this cycle too, way more than normal, I'm not sure how he's going to react, so I got up and decided to post this. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm losing it......and FAST!!!
I'm headed to my brother's house for a couple of days, a previously planned trip. My nephew is having his 9th birthday party, at Build A Bear. I was very excited about going, now not so much. It's going to be difficult being around my two nephews (12 & 9) and my niece who is almost 3 and of course, all the kids at the party with me knowing that it didn't happen this cycle.
I'm going to take a JM break for a bit, it may be a couple of days or it could be longer. I'll keep the CSR up-to-date for everyone, but I don't think I'll do much posting, if any. My only bit of hope is that "normally" AF would be here on Tuesday and not Sunday, but with the trigger causing O to be 2 days earlier than normal I'm not sure if she'll be here at my normal 28 days or if she'll be here at 14dpo...so that's my only hope, is that it's "just" a flat temp. So, if for some reason things start looking up, I could be back on sooner than expected. I don't know. I do know that I'm tired of crying and thinking of ending this game of ttc. Thanks, girls! Sorry for this being so long. I love you all!
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