Dilemma

bookwormmommy · #1 January 16th, 2006, 06:17 AM

So my dh and I have been talking about moving back to MN for quite awhile. Now, suddenly there is a children's librarian position available in a library system that has a great reputation. So I really want to send in my resume and give it a shot. On the other hand, I had wanted to get pregnant and deliver down here b/c I already have lots of leave saved up and then I wouldn't be starting a new position and saying "oops-preggo, see you in 3 months!" Back on the first hand--it has been 13 cycles--how long do I hold off on doing things important to me b/c of ttc? To complicate it further-the resumes have to be in by next week and that's when I have my appointment with the RE. SO he may give us drugs and tell us to have sex at certain times which we can't do if I move up a couple of months ahead of dh. bah! So do we go for the job and put ttc on hold for maybe 6 months or so? Or do I do whatever the RE tells me and bd lots and try for the job anyway with the possibility that I will be due before one year at the new job? Or do I put off applying for anything until after I am pregnant or at least know more about why we aren't pregnant?

All opinions will be given due consideration.

Jacquie · #2 January 16th, 2006, 07:39 AM

I understand what you're thinking about starting a new position and then getting pregnant, because I was in that same position not long ago. We weren't looking to move, but I was absolutely miserable at my job since the company was bought out, and I couldn't stand it anymore. We were not ttc yet, but I knew we would be 2 months from the time that I applied for another job. I was nervous about the new company finding out before the 6 month probation period was over, and I didn't want to just start somewhere and then take off on them, it didn't seem fair. We get a year of mat leave where I live, so it seemed really unfair to the employer. In the end, I took the chance and switched jobs. Turns out, I have been here for a year now, and am still not pregnant, so I'm sooo happy that I made that decision. I hope for you that you get pregnant quicker than that, but I do think you need to still live your life while ttc. And who knows, maybe all of this will help take your mind off it for a while. Anyway, that's just my opinion, good luck with whatever you decide Dawn!

barrycarrot · #3 January 16th, 2006, 08:20 AM

I try to go by that saying about LIVE FOR TODAY. You never know what tomorrow holds for you.

epwishful · #4 January 16th, 2006, 09:06 AM

I say apply...that way you can get your resume in on time...go to the RE...then decide. No harm in applying and then saying "sorry, we had a change of plans." Especially in a move cross country.

iamkc · #5 January 16th, 2006, 09:19 AM

If it were me, I'd apply, too. I know how desperately you want a baby, but it also sounds like this move and new job mean just as much to a better future for all involved. Undoubtedly, you'll do a kick-***** job. Because of that, I would imagine that they'd be a little more lenient with you having a baby. I've worked in MANY libraries and have seen librarians come in, find out within a couple of months that they're pregnant, and the lib admin is usually pretty good about that. One library where I worked even let the mothers bring their babies in (so much for that QUIET!, huh?

). I understand your concerns that one will interferre with the other, but you never know what's going to happen, and I don't think that it has to be an either/or situation. I think that you CAN have your cake, and eat it, too...

Whatever you decide, I hope you'll let us know...and we'll support you, of course!!!

bookwormmommy · #6 January 16th, 2006, 11:09 AM

You have convinced me (I was leaning toward applying but supportive feedback sure helps!) Now watch-I'll send in my resume and they won't even call--I always worry about my chickens before they hatch!

Thanks ladies!

iamkc · #7 January 16th, 2006, 11:37 AM

Quote:

You have convinced me (I was leaning toward applying but supportive feedback sure helps!) Now watch-I'll send in my resume and they won't even call--I always worry about my chickens before they hatch!

Thanks ladies![/b]

HAHAHA Glad we could add to the tension! GOOD LUCK! How exciting that you might be moving soon! I just visited MN for the first time this spring and it was BEAUTIFUL!!! DH has lots of family there, in and around Minneapolis. I can't WAIT to go back to visit!

I think that it might work more this way: You'll apply, be offered a job, and realize that you can't possibly help with moving because you're pregnant. You can just sit back and direct.

zoey · #8 January 16th, 2006, 01:05 PM

Good Luck, from a Minnesotan!!
I love it here. And we've had a very mild winter which is nice.

bookwormmommy · #9 January 17th, 2006, 05:02 AM

Quote:

Good Luck, from a Minnesotan!!
I love it here. And we've had a very mild winter which is nice.[/b]

Thanks Zoey-that's what my dad keeps telling me. Are you in the twin cities area? Just curious cuz I graduated high school in Roseville-but lived all over the TC area growing up-any chance we know each other?

I think that it might work more this way: You'll apply, be offered a job, and realize that you can't possibly help with moving because you're pregnant. You can just sit back and direct. [biggrin.gif]

And thanks for that Jess--what a lovely thought!

Paiton · #10 January 17th, 2006, 08:55 AM

Come home!!!!

zoey · #11 January 17th, 2006, 09:29 AM

Quote:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Quote:

Good Luck, from a Minnesotan!!
I love it here. And we've had a very mild winter which is nice.[/b]

Thanks Zoey-that's what my dad keeps telling me. Are you in the twin cities area? Just curious cuz I graduated high school in Roseville-but lived all over the TC area growing up-any chance we know each other?

[/b]

I am from Bloomington, graduated from Jefferson in 96. Now we are 70 miles south of the Twin Cities. We still go to the Cities often.

iamkc · #12 January 17th, 2006, 10:29 AM

Awww...I hope you get the job! Minnesota is just so darn friendly!

Chester · #13 January 17th, 2006, 02:22 PM

I'm glad you've decided to apply. It certainly can't hurt anything. I am in the same position right now. I'm moving in two weeks from Victoria BC to Hamilton Ont. I had been considering moving back to Ontario because that's where I'm from and my family still lives there. Planning on having a child really made me think about whether I wanted to raise a baby so far away. I got laid off from my job at the end of November so it really made the decision a lot easier. Due to premature menopause I will need to get an egg donor in order to conceive. My chances are a lot better in Ontario than here in BC.

Good luck with the job!

bookwormmommy · #14 January 17th, 2006, 07:10 PM

Good luck with the donor stuff! And thanks!
Oh and Zoey-I knew a guy named Jeff who graduated from there in 94. Very short guy. I think it was Jeff. LOL. So see, we were practically neighbors!