Saying "Bye"

Jessica C · #1 December 22nd, 2008, 06:52 AM

Well girls, AF showed for me on Saturday. I knew it was coming with the huge drop in temp I had on Friday. Had a meltdown Friday morning in the shower, yelling at God and asking Him why we couldn't get pg.....DH heard me and felt absolutely horrible (he HATES it when I cry). So, when she showed on Friday we made the following plan...............

We are done ttcing. We can only go so far, I mean, I'm 41, we've had 2 failed IUI's, we've been ttcing for 11 months (I know, some of you have been trying for much longer than that), and we don't have the financial means to do IVF (even a shared risk program) because in Washington there is no insurance that'll cover infertility or even offer it. So over the next couple of months we'll be NTNP while using Clomid and we've already started the early stages of researching adoption. I know, adoption costs money too, but it has a guarantee (eventually) in the end. We have found a place that is a no-fee adoption (supposedly even for newborns) but we don't know a lot about it yet.

Anyway, I'll still be lurking around checking on you ladies and I'm hoping that each of you gets your BFP ASAP!!! I'll still keep the CSR updated (unless one of you ladies would like to take it over, it's not hard to do).

and Luck to each and everyone of you!!

Buttercups · #2 December 22nd, 2008, 07:18 AM

I'm so sorry, Jessica! I hope NTNP gives you the peace that you need. Prayers for your adoption decision and the road ahead of you. {{{hugs}}}

~April04~ · #3 December 22nd, 2008, 08:51 AM

I'm sorry Jessica.

Cathy =^..^= · #4 December 22nd, 2008, 10:39 AM

I'm sorry.

Just don't give up all hope. God works in mysterious ways. He may have a little girl or little boy already picked out for you that is waiting to be adopted by a loving couple. Blessings to you.

snsgirl336 · #5 December 22nd, 2008, 10:43 AM

Oh Jessica, I don't even know what to say. My heart is just breaking for you! You are such a sweet person and you deserve to be a Mommy! I hope that maybe the NTNP will bring you a surprise BFP, but if that doesn't happen, and you choose to move in the direction of adoption, I hope it will be as easy and as inexpensive a process as it can be. As hard as this is emotionally, there's a plan out there for you and maybe there is a beautiful baby waiting for you and Paul to become it's parents through adoption. Please don't be a stranger. Update us as often as you can/like to. You're still a part of our family in my opinion! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!!!

~*Jackie*~ · #6 December 22nd, 2008, 10:47 AM

I'm so sorry, Jessica. My thoughts & prayers will be heading your direction, and hopefully all will work out in the end... as best as it can. Please keep us posted- we will worry about you if we don't hear from you.

Lots and Lots of hugs your way.

Jessica C · #7 December 22nd, 2008, 11:32 AM

Thank you! You girls are making me cry!

KDD · #8 December 22nd, 2008, 11:51 AM

I'm sorry that the witch showed.

Did any of us ever think that TTC would be so emotionally draining? Good luck with the Clomid and the adoption. Any child would be lucky to have you as parents. Please KUP on your progress.

~Lynda~ · #9 December 22nd, 2008, 01:13 PM

Jess, I will send you a PM after the holiday. I've just checked in quickly here, but can't stay long. Please check back for my PM this coming weekend!!! HUGS girl!!!

SavaAngel · #10 December 22nd, 2008, 02:09 PM

I am so sorry. I hope you get your surprise BFP while NTNP. Good luck pursuing adoption as well. I am sure you will be holding your child one way or another soon.

richmond_girl · #11 December 22nd, 2008, 04:02 PM

Jessica - I am so sorry to hear you are done TTCing but I agree with the other ladies, sometimes God has other plans and on Friday you opened the door for that plan to be unveiled. I read this the other day and I wanted to pass it on: "Some women become mothers because they choose to have children. And other women become mothers because a child chooses them." Somewhere out there, a child is waiting to meet you and choose you as his/her mom. And what a lucky child that is...

Best of luck, you are in my prayers, please visit back often!!

downunderchick · #12 December 23rd, 2008, 12:50 AM

Oh Jess, Im really sorry to hear this. Hope you dont mind me posting, just lurking when I saw this. I do hope you get a surprise while you are NTNP, I dont know why we managed to get pregnant last month but it had taken us 2 years, I cant tell you how shocked I was after 2 years. I hope your break isnt forever and that you conceive soon. Its great that you are going to look into adoption, I hope whatever happens you will be holding a child sometime soon.
XXXXXXX

Lo_and_Behold · #13 December 24th, 2008, 07:32 AM

Just lurking when I saw your post. I'm so sorry, Jessica. My heart goes out to you. Anyone who's been a part of this board knows what a heartache TTC can be so I can really empathize with you. I hope that whichever road you take it will lead to a beautiful baby & all the happiness in the world as you deserve it. I hope the ttc break will bring you an unexpected, surprise BFP. Good luck!!

Christine-MA · #14 December 24th, 2008, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Thank you! You girls are making me cry![/b]

The responses are making ME cry too!

I'm so hoping for a BFP during your NTNP cycles! And if no, I wish you the best with the adoption process.

Hopingfor1soon · #15 December 27th, 2008, 12:23 PM

Oh Jess, I am so so so sorry!!

You have been such an amazing support to me during my TTC journey, and I only hope I have been for you! I will be thinking and praying for you everyday that NTNP brings you and Paul that BFP that you both so much deserve! I also wish you luck with the adoption process! Anyways, whatever road lies ahead for you I hope you know that you have helped me and so many of these other ladies stay true to ourselves, and positive as we all stuggle with this TTC road! Again, best of luck! I am going to miss you a ton!!