[FutureNCMom]

Hey Everyone! I think I recognize some of you from TTC your First Child boards but I'm about to join you all over here in the TTC 6+months as I'm about to move onto my 7th month of TTC. Af hasn't showed yet so I'm not out but I feel like I am. I took an HPT today (11 DPO) and got a BFN and I just feel beat. This morning I was okay... I'm so used to seeing those BFN's by now that it's not a real shocker but I can't get motivated today and now I am sitting here balling my eyes out wondering how the heck to keep on going and TTC without having to think about it every day! I know that 7 months may not be a long time considering how long some of you have been trying but I was just wondering what all of you do to keep on going through this every month? Is there any way to not think about it so much (I know, crazy question)? I just feel so beat. I don't understand why I'm the only one around me that can't seem to get PG.... I know that it's normal for it to take 6-12 months for couples to conceive but when everyone you know is getting PG in their first few months of trying, it's hard to believe that there's not anything wrong with you. Sorry to vent on all of you but you all are the only ones who understand this pain and fustration that I'm feeling right now. Normally I vent to my mother but not even she can understand this since it was so easy for her to get PG.

[Phoenix Rising]

It is very hard I know... I am on month #36 of TTC - previously we were just not preventing but we are on month #3 of charting. I thought for sure we had it last month - honestly with our timing I have no idea how we missed it

With our other children (the 8 yo is not my biological child) we got pregnant right away... like decide to have a baby, have a cycle and get pregnant - the same was true after our first loss. Now, its 3 years since we lost our baby at 14 weeks pregnant and we are going to be speaking with the dr about some clomid or something. I am tired of TTC or rather, tired of wondering it this is every going to happen again for us.

Hang tight hun - you WILL get through this.

[rinty68]

Jessica,
I feel pretty sad today as you know

But... its weird, most mths i can accept the BFN after a few days and its
a case of, well there is nothing i can do and you tend to cope.
This mth has been hard for me and il be glad to get back to some normality
at some point in my life-BUT while you are TTC that will consume your every thought.
I dont think there is a soulution except to try and cope with those BFN,s which is sooo hard.
I have accepted im almost defo not pg this mth but im still sad.
I dream of being a mum by christmas and time is running out
What i would say is to try and enjoy life while you can and just keep thinking
that you will be a mother one day no matter what it takes
Ultimately that thought is what keeps me from going insane with upset...
I have a lucky feeling about you and i dont think you will wait as long as me.
I have hopes of a BFP by april for you

Good luck and welcome to this board hun.
We are all here for you and hopefully not for long

Sarah

[FutureNCMom]

Thank you all for the replies. I just got so upset today and I know it's silly but sometimes you just can't help it!

Ladybird: Thank you for the positive thoughts. I sure hope you are right and that by April I'll be on my way! It's so kind of you to give me encouragement when I should be giving more of it to you!!!!!!! But.. although I don't have those "predictions", I do believe that things happen in good time and as much as I can't understand why people like us who want a child so much have to go through such struggles, I do believe you will become a mommy as well one of these days! Guess we just have to hang in there together and pray our day is coming soon!

[Daniellea22]

jessica i soo totally know how you feel...i think what keeps me going is seeing babys and baby products..as much as i set my mind somedays to " i cant do this anymore..i refuse to put my heart and soul through the disappointment every month" i always wind up going right back to the hope when im through with af..im like refueled or something. Almost every month i start to test around 9-10dpo because i think im some superwoman who has got to be SOO pregnant that im special enough to get a bfp before ANYONE else..and each month its the same grind..bfn, bfn,bfn, AF ::BIg smack in the face and pride!:: Have you had any testing done to determine why you might not be getting pregnant? maybe your not ovulating? i dont think i do every month..i hit and miss for some reason ..anyways..im here and not going anywhere..and trust me..that whole feeling of " im gonna be the only when left here who isnt pregnant" crosses my mind everyday ...good luck to you

[FutureNCMom]

Danielle:

Thanks for the support! I made my appt today for Feb 13th to go to the doc and start getting some tests done. I have pretty regular cycles since stopping BCP's and have done BBT for the past four months with a confirmed O each time so i don't think that's the problem. My worry is that it could be dh since he smokes cigarettes and loves caffeine. I brought up getting an SA to him today and of course that male ego about hit the floor! But in the end he'll do it... and hopefully neither of us have any issues and it's just going to take time!

[BLUDOLPHIN]

i know exactly how you are feeling.
DH and i have been ttc #1 for the past 14 months and are now moving onto month 15.
the day af arrives and for a few days after, i seem to sink into a deep depression and cry all the time and think that i will NEVER get pregnant but somehow....i don't know how....by the time af is gone, I get excited and hopeful and ready to BD like crazy thinking 'this will be the month'!

we are in the process of making an appt with an RE. my obgyn couldn't find anything wrong with me or DH so we decided that a specialist was the way to go.

GOOD LUCK to you and you WILL make it to that BFP!!!

[Blue Eyes 409]

Jessica,

Welcome to TTC 6+Months I know how hard it is to come over here and admit that you have been trying for this long and also know the pain. I also was charting my temps for about 5 months and when you looked at my Chart it looked like I was Ovulating but I went to the Dr for a CD 21 Checkup and then they done the blood work and found out that I was not. The Dr put me on Clomid on my 13th cycle of trying and I got my BFP. Good luck and please keep us updated.

[FutureNCMom]

BlueEyes: It's interesting to hear that! I didn't realize that you could get a chart that appeared you were Oing but not actually be! That opens up the window for more things that could be wrong with me (he.he!)

Well. hopefully I can get some answers starting next month at my appt!

Thanks for all the warm welcomes, everyone! It is very hard coming over here but I'm doing much better about it today than I was yesterday.. just had a bad day but you guys are right: once AF leaves, you're all re-charged and gung-ho about TTC all over again.. I am the same way!

[Lisa P.]

I share the same feelings as many of the other women who have posted. When AF comes (I have her departure and arrivals down to a science--this month she will arrive on a Thursday, next month a Sunday) I spiral into a dark hole of depression. I cry and I get angry and I have this great big pity party for myself (Thursdays it's with wine, Sundays it's with a Venti Carmel Macciato). But by the time the wicked witch decides to hit the road, I am ready to start a new cycle.
We have not been preventing for over 4 years now and this is our second round at charting. I'm on my sixth month of consecutive charting and if we don't catch that egg this month, I'm quitting with the temps. Sometimes I think you just need to take a break or you WILL go insane.

Good luck, hun. I'm betting you'll be getting that BFP real soon.

[Blue Eyes 409]

Look at these 2 charts they look like I was o'ing but my Prog was only 7.9 and that means that I did not....


http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/9a36a

[Lisa P.]

Look at these 2 charts they look like I was o'ing but my Prog was only 7.9 and that means that I did not....


http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/9a36a[/b]

Oh man! That freaks me out. Were you experiencing any sort of cramping during your perceived O time?
I'm FOR SURE getting my Prog checked!!! Those look like normal charts!!!! Is that why your dr. put you on Clomid? How long did it take for you to get your BFP once you went on it?

[see_nelle_run]

Look at these 2 charts they look like I was o'ing but my Prog was only 7.9 and that means that I did not....


http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/9a36a[/b]

Those charts look a LOT like my chart for this month! Yikes! If AF shows up this month I will consider mentioning the prog. on my next dr. visit!

[iamkc]

Welcome to the board--I know it's a bittersweet arrival, but you've already found that the ladies on here are astoundingly helpful and supportive!

Congrats on setting up your appointments--that's a huge step covered already! I hope that you get good news--that even if something isn't quite right, it's an easy fix.

As for how to keep going...part of it is the defeat of AF. Every time she would show, DH and I would think about tossing in the towel, but I realized that part of me was already on auto-pilot to temp and figure out when I'd be Oing, etc. It's like I didn't give myself any other option. I never thought of myself as baby-crazy. I ADORED babies and kids (still do), but I wasn't on the lookout to get a family started for myself right away. Once I really thought about it, though, and when I couldn't STOP thinking about it, I knew that I'd keep trying for as long as I had to, or until adoption was an option (saving money, etc.). DH's determination that he wanted to have a family with me, too, kept me going. I think that was part of it--that we wanted a family together. Even after losses, I would think, "I can't do this again," but after the physical healing was over, I realized that I was already planning the next cycle! I don't think that it's innate in every woman to want kids, but I certainly found that *I* was ready to BD with a vengeance every chance we got in hopes of getting a baby. (And I like having sex with DH...not just for baby-making! )

Anyway, I planted the seed in my mind of what it would be like to have a family with DH (but at the time, boyfriend) and couldn't let go of it. No one was more shocked than I was. Hehe.

I hope that testing goes well and that you'll keep us updated. In the meantime, wear DH out like it's your JOB!!!