When do you say enough is enough?

Phoenix Rising · #1 January 25th, 2006, 03:34 PM

We have been TTC now for three years. I am going to speak with the DR about clomid if this month is a bust like all the others... but once we try that for 2-3 months I am done with TTC (or at least thats what I am saying now)

At what point do you just say that enough is enough - we arent meant to have a child? At what point do you get so ######ed emotionally tired and dislike the idea of bding with DH that you just give up? I think that I am at that point... its almost to the extent that I just want to get on with my life you know? Baby or no baby.

iamkc · #2 January 25th, 2006, 03:41 PM

I don't know, to be honest. We actively tried for a little over 2 years and had a few losses. We kept saying, "No more if we lose this one," but it never stuck. It just made us want it more and more, I think.

Are you seeing a doctor for the problem? IS there a problem? Do you have a reliable doc?

I'm sorry that it's so difficult.

We ALL know the pain, unfortunately. I would suggest a good sit-down with your doc to go over possible problems and possible treatments. That might steer you in a particular direction of whether or not to continue or even how far in treatments or trying you're willing to go. Of course, I'd include DH in the discussion.

Here's hoping that it happens sooner rather than later for you and that you don't have to worry about whether or not to give up.

Hugs, and don't give up yet!!!

DreamChaser · #3 January 25th, 2006, 03:53 PM

I know what you mean - I am having one of those do I really have the strength to go on days. Poor DH: he woke up to me sobbing (and I have tears in my eyes now) - cycle day 40 something and still no O - I had hoped the last cycle was a fluke - it isn't. If it follows the pattern of the last cycle - I still have over 20 days until I O - almost another month of sitting on the bench watching everyone else try. If I fail again (which seems so likely), my next shot will be in May. I feel like I cannot do this anymore, but at age 37 I don't have time to wait any longer. If I fail this time, I'll be 38 when my next shot comes. Of course this is all assuming the best case scenario at this point - that I actually do O at the same time I did last time - I may not. I know everyone hates the 2WW wait, but it is heaven to me - the one time I am actually in the game - it goes by all too quickly and then I wait and wait and wait to try again. I took the ticker out of my signature today - it hurts too much, I feel like it is mocking me.

I need to see the doctor, but I am afraid of the answer.

When do you say enough is enough? I wish I knew.

#4 January 25th, 2006, 04:17 PM

I have definitely reached the point where 'enough is enough.' Combined with so many illnesses and finally turning 45 this past Sunday, I threw in the towel.

I have pretty well come to peace with the knowledge, but I think DH has not. I am sure that eventually he will. Life is good the way it is now.

margo1973 · #5 January 25th, 2006, 04:26 PM

We have been TTC for 9 months now. It seems like forever. I feel like my life is on hold while TTC. I am afraid to make any future vacation plans becasue I might be pregnant. I am afraid of making career related decisions becasue I might be pregnant. I can't even properly celebrate my wedding anniversary because I will be in the 2WW so I don't want to drink or use the hot tub, etc.

And it seems like with every month I am further and further away from having a baby. At first I was just TTC, then I had the mc, then I had to wait to TTC again, then I discovered I have a luteal phase defect. Right now I am waiting for blood test results for progesterone and FSH so I am expecting even worse news.

If I knew for certain that we would never have a baby, I could start accepting it and moving forward. I feel completely in the dark and every month is a rollercoaster of emotions.

If my doctor puts me on progesterone now I think I will TTC until June and then for another few month on Clomid. If my doctor puts me on Clomid now then just until June and then I am done actively TTC although I probably won't go back on birth control. Maybe I will look into adoption.

BobbiC · #6 January 25th, 2006, 06:11 PM

I don't know when to say enough is enough. It is hard every month at the 2ww and then AF comes along. I just turned 35 and we are on month 11 of ttc. DH is not ready to give up but he doesn't completely understand how disappointing it is to see AF month after month.

to everyone

iamkc · #7 January 26th, 2006, 07:41 AM

to all of you!!! Donna, I know that this just gets more and more frustrating every month for you. Has your doc given you ANY reason why your cycles might be so long??? I'm sorry that you had to take your ticker out, but your new siggie is adorable...

Georgia--I'm sorry to hear that! I didn't know that you'd given up. How is DH handling it right now? I know that this must be heartbreaking, and I'm truly sorry.

margo--I was the same way and it sucked. Everything revolves around TTC, eventually, even if you don't think that it does, huh? No hot springs, no dinner drinks, no fish...pretending you're pregnant for 2 weeks every month or couple of months takes its toll. I hope that the meds help you and that you get your BFP soon. (Of course, I hope this for ALL of you!)

starting--I think you're right. I know that it's hard for our SOs, but they don't have to be reminded of AF every second while she's here, so they DON'T understand how difficult it is. DH would be sad whenever he was reminded of my period, but he didn't have to deal with it HARD for over a week. Again, I hope that you get your BFP soon...

And one more time,

to all of you. Group hug!

zoey · #8 January 26th, 2006, 08:22 AM

Cheer up ladies. Sometimes when the stress of wanting something so badly goes away, and you throw in the towel .. a miracle happens. Its the things in life we cannot make happen, that are so precious.

boopadoop · #9 January 26th, 2006, 08:38 AM

HI I TCC FOR 5 YEARS.. DID CLOMID WAS P.G. WITH IN THE MONTH HANG IN YOU WILL GET P.G.

crowdreamer · #10 January 26th, 2006, 10:13 AM

I won't be throwing in the towell for a while, because I have dreamed of being a mother since I was a teenager and I'm determined to make it happen if there's any way possible. But after 9 months ttc I'm already getting really depressed about it. Still a lot to do with tests and treatment and such, so hopefully that will move quickly and I'll know for sure one way or the other if I need to adopt.

#11 January 26th, 2006, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Georgia--I'm sorry to hear that! I didn't know that you'd given up. How is DH handling it right now? I know that this must be heartbreaking, and I'm truly sorry.[/b]

Actually, I am pretty okay with my decision. I just have too may obstacles and my age is a BIG issue. I started ttc when I was 43 and had hope that I would be successful by my 45th birthday, alas, no luck.

I haven't really told DH yet, but I will get around it soon. Right now we are so busy trying to get a handle on my medical problems and, now with all the weight gain, going to the gym and loosing weight.

It is God's will. Dh will come around.