DH said no more TTC

Jarheadwed · #1 February 15th, 2009, 11:52 PM

So my DH had a bad childhood with an alcoholic mother. It really affects him, but he's in total denial, and our relationship, but it had been getting better. Well, this weekend we went home for a short visit and every time he deals with her or his family, he gets sucked right back into their dysfunctional drama. We have spent all weekend fighting and rehashing and fighting and more fighting. He finally, somewhat grudgingly, tonight agreed to seek the counseling I have been asking him for years to get. He also said we should stop TTC until he knows if the therapy is working. Not only that, but he's military and has to go through the military system to get help.

I am very glad he is going to get help, and I hope he sticks it through. But, probably selfishly, I am devastated that we have gone nine months now TTC, I just started charting, we had our BD timing right. I feel so selfish and angry at this all, I feel horrible and selfish because I keep thinking that I have to put something I want with everything in me aside because of his dysfunctional family and his, until now, unwillingness to deal with it.

Blondn6ft · #2 February 16th, 2009, 03:57 AM

Katey ... I am proud of your husband for wanting to reach out for help. Many men in the military
don't feel that is the right thing to do. I know this ... my first husband was in the Navy and when things
were going wrong and he had family issues ... I suggested counseling ... he said no, no one could be in
his business ... a few months later ... he left, and spun out of control ... we divorced.

I am proud of you for understanding ... and being supportive.
It is a hell of a role sometimes ... Putting his needs before yours ...

I believe this will make you stronger ...
Then when the time is right ... a little blessing will occur ...
There will be no resentment ... no hesitation ... only happy feelings
and positive thoughts for the amazing future ahead for your family.

Hang in there !

~Lynda~ · #3 February 16th, 2009, 04:47 AM

i must agree totally!!!!

HUGS

~*Jackie*~ · #4 February 16th, 2009, 06:10 AM

Lots and lots of

I agree with Robin, and couldn't have said it better. Just know we are here for you, and will be thinking of you.

richmond_girl · #5 February 16th, 2009, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Katey ... I am proud of your husband for wanting to reach out for help. Many men in the military
don't feel that is the right thing to do. I know this ... my first husband was in the Navy and when things
were going wrong and he had family issues ... I suggested counseling ... he said no, no one could be in
his business ... a few months later ... he left, and spun out of control ... we divorced.

I am proud of you for understanding ... and being supportive.
It is a hell of a role sometimes ... Putting his needs before yours ...

I believe this will make you stronger ...
Then when the time is right ... a little blessing will occur ...
There will be no resentment ... no hesitation ... only happy feelings
and positive thoughts for the amazing future ahead for your family.

Hang in there ![/b]

I couldn't have said it better!

KDD · #6 February 16th, 2009, 08:56 AM

Katey - while it sucks that you're going to stop TTC for a while, it sounds like DH's head & heart are in the right place. It takes a strong person to admit that they need help. I hope that everything works out for the best for you.