lookingfor some support/advice

nikki1010 · #1 February 27th, 2009, 04:13 PM

hello out there,
i need some coping advice. i think i am going to lose it. If i am not preggers this month ( i am anxiously awating AF due 3/6) i will be going on month 6 of ttc. I try to talk to the hubby, and he is not concerned at all and just wants to "have fun trying"....but i am desperalty waiting being pregnant. i just never thought that I may have a fertility issue. when i got pregnant with my 13mo old daughter it was super easy. i never got how frusterating this could be!!!

i know that compared to others my story is nothing....but to me it is just so irritating!!! how do you cope with the 2ww....how do you not lose it???

shonda4 · #2 February 27th, 2009, 04:19 PM

Quote:

hello out there,
i need some coping advice. i think i am going to lose it. If i am not preggers this month ( i am anxiously awating AF due 3/6) i will be going on month 6 of ttc. I try to talk to the hubby, and he is not concerned at all and just wants to "have fun trying"....but i am desperalty waiting being pregnant. i just never thought that I may have a fertility issue. when i got pregnant with my 13mo old daughter it was super easy. i never got how frusterating this could be!!!

i know that compared to others my story is nothing....but to me it is just so irritating!!! how do you cope with the 2ww....how do you not lose it???[/b]

i'm almost in the same boat we have been trying for over a year now and nothing so far......with my son it was so easy and then when we tryed again it took me almost 2 years even using clomid then is lost the baby and then got right back prego with a girl with is health and now its right back again so hang in there when the time is right god will give them to us we just have to wait alittle while i guess......try to stay busy and not thing about it and it will just happen

nikki1010 · #3 February 27th, 2009, 04:22 PM

thanks so much.
i wish that i knew how hard this could be before.....but at least i can be more sympathetic to others gong through this!!
it is also nice to find friends too!!

Christine-MA · #4 February 27th, 2009, 04:30 PM

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It is frustrating isn't it? You'd think getting pregnant was so easy with all the times it seems to happen on accident. But when you're trying, it seems like forever doesn't it? We are here for you!

nikki1010 · #5 February 27th, 2009, 05:12 PM

thank you. i heard about this site from a friend from work and to FINALLY have a support system is AWESOME

it is just crazy! and i see and hear about all these "accidents" and I just long to be pregnant and have more precious angels! and there are people out there who just take it for granted.

it is so silly but those cliche comercials about "9 mos is long enough to wait when you are ready to be a mom again" is sooooo true!

ASH_M · #6 February 27th, 2009, 05:59 PM

Nikki, I too am very frustrated and have also been trying for 6 months now. However I've never been pregnant before, so I had NO idea that it would take this long and be so frustrated. I mean, the doctors and everyone say it's normal to take up to a year to get pregnant, but I never in my wildest dreams thought it would take that long. I'm half-way there and I definitely don't want to see the second half! I've had it - every month I get more and more frustrated. My DH doesn't really care to talk about it. I think he's just agreed to TTC because he knows I really want to start having kids. I haven't told hardly any of my family and friends that we started trying, and I guess it's a good thing since we have nothing to show for the past 6 months! I'm just trying to say that I feel like I have no one to talk to, until I get a few hours to be on JM and talk to all of you ladies. We really are a support system, and I'm so glad I found this site.

I really hope that you don't have to wait any longer for that BFP - I hope it happens for you this month. Keep your spirits up!

nikki1010 · #7 February 27th, 2009, 07:00 PM

Ashley!!!
It is like I am reading my own journal reading your post!!! I have a kiddo who I love, but I have always dreamed of having at least 3 kids....and I am blessed to have one! But I know that my DH is the same way!!!! He is just like "whatever" and I feel like most of the time he is humoring me. I know that he is a great daddy and wants more kids too, but he really has NO CLUE what it is like to want this and to feel this and not get it.....and to have to keep waiting. He is just excited to have the end result....the kid that likes to play and cuddle....as far as he is concerned we could just skip the pregnancy/birth part....
UGH!!! (MEN!!)
LOL!
But I too haven't shared with the fam that we are trying....I dunno I was just not ready to say it out loud and now i kinda know why!

I have hinted but for the most part no one knows....so it is almost harder because you have no one to vent to. and it sucks....Thank goodness for people who get it!!!
**CROSSES CROSSED AND BABY DUST TO YOU TOO**

ASH_M · #8 February 28th, 2009, 08:53 AM

I know, right? The man in the relationship has it so easy (at least in my relationship!). I know there are husbands out there who want nothing more than to impregnate their wives and really care about the process that it takes to get there, but I think my DH missed the memo on that. "We" are using NFP to achieve pregnancy - I say "we" because he goes to the meeting with me every third month, but I know he doesn't really want to be there (he actually told me that) and he doesn't do anything to help me out with it. I know that he can't check my CM for me (eww!) or take my temperature for me or anything, but he could help me chart it, or at least review the chart with me. But he just doesn't care enough about it. He sounds a lot like your DH, just wants to have fun doing it and knows that it will eventually happen. I wish I had that mindset. But it's like I can't not think about TTC. Every 2WW for the past 6 months (including right now!) I start analyzing every little thing that I'm feeling, what could be different this month, etc. Don't I have enough to worry about? I have my work, a huge test to study for, I'm an adviser to over 100 young women in college, I have a house to keep in order, a dog and husband to take care of, but I find it so hard to concentrate on those things during the 2WW. And before the O day, I'm worried that we have to get our timing right, sex ever other night at least. I feel bad, because before we started TTC, I would never have to initiate sex, but now that we're TTC I feel like I'm the only one initiating it sometimes. DH doesn't seem to mind, but I definitely don't want him to think that's all he's good for.

I don't know, I guess we just have to keep our heads up, try not to worry about it so much, and have fun with it. Easier said than done, huh?

Well, my AF is due sometime next week as well. So we'll just have to keep each other company and pray that she stays away for the both of us. Here's to a BFP soon in our futures!

snsgirl336 · #9 February 28th, 2009, 09:13 AM

I'm sorry that you're so frustrated with this! I know that we have all been there or are there right now. It really isn't any fun. I didn't ever think it would take us so long to get pregnant, but I'm going to keep on going... and try to put my faith in the fact that it'll happen for us hopefully sooner than later!

SavaAngel · #10 February 28th, 2009, 10:02 AM

I am going on month 15 of trying and with my son it just happened when we were not trying/not preventing. After that I thought well, I guess we are super fertile, but we waited till AJ was older and we were more in a position to bring another baby into the family and when we were ready, it just hasn't happened! And I never went on hormonal BC after having AJ (used NFP). I will tell you, it doesn't get any easier from month 6 to month 15! And I am seeing my OB at least every 2-3 months for one reason or another!

I am so sorry it is taking so long for you. Believe me, this board is full of frustration!

Oh, and you might check out Secondary Infertility too (it is another board on here). Another great bunch of women who have had previous children and are now experiencing some infertility issues.

nikki1010 · #11 February 28th, 2009, 02:29 PM

Quote:

I know, right? The man in the relationship has it so easy (at least in my relationship!). I know there are husbands out there who want nothing more than to impregnate their wives and really care about the process that it takes to get there, but I think my DH missed the memo on that. "We" are using NFP to achieve pregnancy - I say "we" because he goes to the meeting with me every third month, but I know he doesn't really want to be there (he actually told me that) and he doesn't do anything to help me out with it. I know that he can't check my CM for me (eww!) or take my temperature for me or anything, but he could help me chart it, or at least review the chart with me. But he just doesn't care enough about it. He sounds a lot like your DH, just wants to have fun doing it and knows that it will eventually happen. I wish I had that mindset. But it's like I can't not think about TTC. Every 2WW for the past 6 months (including right now!) I start analyzing every little thing that I'm feeling, what could be different this month, etc. Don't I have enough to worry about? I have my work, a huge test to study for, I'm an adviser to over 100 young women in college, I have a house to keep in order, a dog and husband to take care of, but I find it so hard to concentrate on those things during the 2WW. And before the O day, I'm worried that we have to get our timing right, sex ever other night at least. I feel bad, because before we started TTC, I would never have to initiate sex, but now that we're TTC I feel like I'm the only one initiating it sometimes. DH doesn't seem to mind, but I definitely don't want him to think that's all he's good for.

I don't know, I guess we just have to keep our heads up, try not to worry about it so much, and have fun with it. Easier said than done, huh?

Well, my AF is due sometime next week as well. So we'll just have to keep each other company and pray that she stays away for the both of us. Here's to a BFP soon in our futures![/b]

Thanks for all your support! YAY for new friends! And here is to a TUN of BABY DUST! My guy is the same way as yours....Looks like we are in the same boat....hope it docks soon! LOL! I will keep you posted on any new updates!

~*Jackie*~ · #12 February 28th, 2009, 04:13 PM

I think the other ladies covered it... you'll find plenty of support and share frustrations with most of us... I'm on month 15 of ttc our first, and never in a million years thought it would take as long as it has.

Like Christina said, unfortunately it doesn't get any easier the longer it goes..

nikki1010 · #13 February 28th, 2009, 04:27 PM

I soooo wish that it was easier the longer you wait! HA! Wishful thinking!!

I am so gratful for all the friends and advice that I am finding on here....I feel like this month isn't my month either.....but I still hope for a

and it is nice to know that if it isn't what I hope for this month that there is still this place and these people to help and support me and my efforts! It is GREAt to have your very own cheer leaders!

Here is to hoping for baby dust for us all!

Hopingfor1soon · #14 March 1st, 2009, 10:33 AM

Well the other ladies definitely did a great job of covering it!! I just wanted to say that we are all feeling the frustration by this point (21 months for me). And honestly anytime you need to vent or just want some support or company on your journey, we are all here for you. These ladies are so great and very supportive! If you have any questions or concerns just let us know!!

nikki1010 · #15 March 1st, 2009, 06:39 PM

Thanks Ladies!!!!!
What a neat circle of friends! It has been a frusterating journey so far but it's like they say--sometimes the best things are worth the wait! I just hope we don't wait too much longer!!