[~*Jackie*~]

Well, ladies- it didn't go at ALL how I planned. I get things in my head on how something is going to go, and am totally surprised when it doesn't go that way. I'll be honest. I figured the RE would look at my charts (barely), see that Clomid hasn't worked, and go with either another drug, injectables, or IUI. Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

Let's start from the beginning... I filled out all of the piles of paperwork since I had only made my appt on Friday and they couldn't mail it to me to do at home. I was still filling it out in the exam room while waiting for my doctor to even come in.. We did the usual blood pressure, etc with the nurse, then eventually went back to my RE's office to have our consultation. We went over EVERYTHING from before the 9 years of BCP to the last 20 months since BCP (16 of which we have been actively ttc). I took my charts and told them I had them- he took each one and went through every detail on EACH one... a year's worth. He went over all of my previous bloodwork, including the thyroid prolactin and TSH, etc, DH's S/A, etc.

Then came the HSG results (which I was told by my OB looked 'fine').. Since I had this done at the same hospital we were in today, the RE brought them right up on the screen. We went through each one (it was neat that DH could look at them too), until we got to the last one where the dye was spilling out... spilling all over the place on the left tube... and only squirting out on the right side. *sigh* You could see that my right tube was greatly enlarged with the dye because it wasn't coming out very fast- almost like the tube was almost shut, but the dye could still get through a little. This concerned him, and he made that known. I could have started crying right then and there.. only because I was told I was clear and free.

So the "plan". I have to take this month off of meds completely to clear my system of the Clomid. I have to call the hospital on CD 1 the NEXT cycle to get a baseline u/s on either day 2, 3 or 4, and tons of bloodwork. Since it's been a year since I had all of the other bloodwork done, we are doing it all over again, and then some. He's testing E2, LH, FSH, Thyroid Prolactin, TSH, and testosterone. He is doing some of the bloodwork and the u/s to check the count of eggs I have for my age, and that scares me a LOT. Jon has to get a repeat S/A done (this time at the hospital- BOO), where they are going to do a more detailed analysis including testing the sperm antibodies, sperm isolation, and a migration assay (which will show how many of his little guys could have actually made it up the tubes if they were inside me). I will go back in May, after my tests are complete. We will talk about the results. If I am not pregnant, and assuming all tests come back ok, I have to have a lap done to check out my tube and see what is wrong, and see if it can be repaired. The way the pictures were taken from the HSG, my uterus was blocking whatever was blocking my tube so he doesn't know unless he goes in there. He'll check for endo then if that's the case, although in his opinion all the pain that comes on unmedicated cycles during AF is from follie cysts.

I've been pretty down about this, and I know it's not the "worst" news I could get, but I wasn't expecting it. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm really down right now. DH is wonderful, though, and is really helping to pull me together.... So we'll be trying and praying very hard again this next cycle, especially because a yucky surgery is looming over me, and the fact that my tube sucks, well sucks.

Thanks for listening, and sorry it was so long.. it's taken me until now to even put it in words because I just don't want to believe it....

[Ash]

Jackie, I am so sorry that your appointment didn't go as you had planned. I will say that it sounds like you have a great doctor. I am sure he is going to get to the bottom of the issues so that you will be holding that little one soon.

[~April04~]

((hugs)) I'm sorry it didn't go as planned hun

[jensma]

oh jackie, i am so sorry!! You're right its not the worst and now you just have to do what the RE says. I am sure it will all work out and if there is a problem you definitely want to get it fixed!! Good luck hun!!

[KMH]

I'm so sorry, Jackie. I know it feels terrible to go in so hopeful and leave feeling crushed. I hope that you can see the silver lining in your situation soon, and I hope your RE has a good plan so you can get that BFP!

[Jodi0804]

Came here to check out how your appointment went.. I'm so sorry that it didn't go as you had planned

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks ladies.. I'm a HUGE ball of emotions with AF around the corner and this news... all that coupled with insurance not paying a penny of all these tests, treatments, etc., has really taken its toll on me today...

And from what my RE said, it's called tubal phimosis on my right side... Remind me not to google that stuff.

[richmond_girl]

Oh Jackie, I'm so sorry! But it's good they found the issue, right?? I know it is hard to put TTC on hold for a few more months while you go through more tests/procedures, but after that short wait, your chances of a BFP will be sooooo much greater!!! I am praying for you, hun!! PM me anytime you want to talk.

(((HUGS)))

[ChristinaR]

I am so sorry Jackie. Like Ashley said it does sound like you have an awesome doctor. He sounds really thorough. That is going to help you get to the bottom of things much quicker.

[Christine-MA]

It's just shouldn't be this hard to get pregnant I'm so so sorry.

[adam*s_mami]

Oh Man Jackie, not what I wanted to read, but I know how you feel, all you can do is feel halfway better knowing that there is a problem that can be fixed, and sounds like your DR is great and he can fix it, and than after you get it fixed it is just a matter of time before you get that BFP, at least you got the process started right, before wasting month after month with meds that prob. only harm your body more.....and dont be too worried about all the tests im sure they will come back fine and all you need is a lap, so he can go in there and clean you out for your DH sperm and your eggies to meet under better circumstances...it will happen for you soon I know it!

[Soape]

Jackie i'm so sorry that it was not what you were hoping for. I do agree with the others that it seems like he really cares about trying to figure out what is really wrong and try to correct it. I'm praying that all the tests and surgeries will end up being worth it in the end with a baby in your arms.

[SavaAngel]

Sorry it didn't turn out the way you thought it would. I hope you get real answers and your bean very soon!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, ladies... I really hate the unknown, which is all this ttc journey is.. Without knowing what is causing the blockage, it's hard to say if it even is fixable (from what I was reading online- ugh). The lap will only show him what is going on, but may not be the avenue to fixing it. Like I told Ashley last night, I'm going to pray so so hard for a Christmas miracle.. I don't want to go through all of this..

[~Lynda~]

oh hun i'm so sorry!! but i agree with the other ladies. your dr. will help you with the issues and you will have a wonderful bfp soon!!! keep being positive. i know it is hard sometimes, believe me i do, but look at juli, she had such bad news and she is pregnant!!! keep the faith and big hugs!!!

[Micksbabe]

Oh Jackie I am so sorry!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Lynda and Megan.

[amazing_love]

I came over to read this.. I'm so so sorry you're going through all of this!!! I really hope the doctors are able to help!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Krista!

[Celry]

Sorry things doing go as you'd planned, but it sounds like you found a great doctor. He's being very thorough and not wasting a month on clomid. You're that much closer to your BFP after this appointment. I'm so excited for you. All the tests he's running are standard and totally worth doing before you move onto something else. Most insurance companies will pay for diagnostic stuff like that and the lap, so it's great to go over that now before starting injectables. I know how frustrating it can be to feel like you've stalled and aren't moving ahead, but you really are still moving ahead. Good luck and hopefully you'll get your Christmas miracle. There are plenty of people (my mom included) have have a fully clogged tube who have multiple pregnancies. Don't let this get you down.