Had a talk with DH last night.

Ash · #1 April 22nd, 2009, 08:23 AM

It's funny how it is so easy to forget to consider the man's feelings in this TTC journey. I guess because we KNOW nothing is wrong with him, so it has to be me, right? So, I am always focusing on MY feelings about this process and forgetting that HE has feelings about it also.

So from our conversation, I realized just how distressed DH has become by this whole process. It made me sad that I hadn't realized it before now. Am I that out of touch with him when it comes to this?

I can't believe I let things go this far without even considering how he might be feeling. Don't get me wrong, we weren't fighting at all, we were just having a conversation about potentially needing a break. He made the comment, "Well, I thought we were on a break this cycle, but it didn't turn out that way." That was like a knife in the gut because I realized at that moment that *I* had
arbitrarily made the decision that we would try. The worst part is that I didn't even discuss it with him, I just said that we were and he went along with it.

I know he wants me to be happy, and that's probably why he didn't say a word. I love him for that, but it also makes me sad that I could be so inconsiderate.

Anyway, I am 6 DPO...I am not really hopeful. I never am. If this cycle turns out the way I think it will, we are going to have a break. I am not sure if we are going to prevent or NTNP at this point. I will talk with my honey and see what he thinks. I hate to halt this process, but sometimes I think you just mentally and emotionally need a break.

Soape · #2 April 22nd, 2009, 08:30 AM

oh no!!! I do think that everyone needs a break sometimes. Maybe after a cycle or two break he will feel ready to get back in the game. I do the same thing with Michael, I just assume that he is ok with doing what "I" think is necessary to do to get pregnant that cycle. He goes along with it too and then every once in awhile he will say something that shows me he feels like it's all about me and he's just a tool in the process. It's like we get so frantic and consumed by the process that we forget. I'm glad that he was able to talk to you about it and together you can make a change. I will do the best that I can to help you next cycle!!!! I'll be your reminder! HE HE

Ash · #3 April 22nd, 2009, 08:37 AM

Thanks Amanda! It's good to know I am not the only one who does this. Actually, I am really OK with a break. I am going to see if Nate will be OK with going the NTNP route. I am sure he will.

SavaAngel · #4 April 22nd, 2009, 08:58 AM

Good Luck if the break is necessary. I have felt like I needed a break for months, but then we started the testing and haven't felt like we could take a break and get answers finally. We will see what the next cycle brings us.

~Lynda~ · #5 April 22nd, 2009, 08:58 AM

i have a friend who tried for eight months and got so discouraged. so they took a break over the holidays and first cycle back, she is pregnant!!! so breaks can be a very good thing. G/L hun. don't beat yourself up about DH's feelings. It wasn't intentional and sometimes we just SIMPLY get caught up in this whole ttc journey!!! you are lucky that you realized he is in this too and has feelings. some women never get there!!! HUGS

~*Jackie*~ · #6 April 22nd, 2009, 09:06 AM

I can understand... Take as much time as you need... a break may be a good thing, and if you are NTNP, it's still a happy possibility.

snsgirl336 · #7 April 22nd, 2009, 11:10 AM

I can totally relate Ash... My DH and I are kinda in the same place. As hard as I try, I tend to forget that he has feelings involved too. He's been really great about it even though I keep pushing him to try harder. Like this cycle for example- I got totally angry with him cause he kept falling asleep. Never mind the fact that his Dad is in the hospital, his aunt just passed away and he's working full time and coaching full time. I lost sight of the big picture and that's why we're also going to be laying off for a short while.

We're all here for you and I hope that a break will help you both clear your head and move forward together to get that BFP!

KDD · #8 April 22nd, 2009, 03:57 PM

I'm the same way Ash. I'm so focused on what's going on with me that I sometimes forget that Jason should have input too. I'm glad that you guys had a nice talk.