[Soape]

Well it's been a journey this last week. We went to the Dr on Thursday for a sono to see if my body had passed everything and it had not. So they put me on medication to make it pass. I went back this morning and all the tissue was gone. It was bitter sweet. I was glad that the physical part was over but I started balling because it made me realize how final everything was.

DH and I had a long talk today about what we want to do next. The Dr said that we could start trying right away and that he would put me back on the Clomid when I had my first AF. After I came home and cried for a good little bit I realized how sad/scared I have been over this last 7 months since the first pregnancy and now the second miscarriage. DH said that he feels truly exhausted emotionally from it. We have really missed having fun with life, and traveling. After trying off and on for these last 2.5 years we are pretty worn out. We have tried to keep things fun but it's been hard these last few months with the miscarriages. So our decision for now is take a break from the hardcore trying. We are going to NTNP for a little while till we feel ready to get back in the game again.

I told DH that I didn't know how long that I will want to wait but at this exact moment I do. He said that he felt the same way.

On a happy note..we are planning our 3rd wedding anniversary trip. We are not for certain where we are going to go yet but it will be a long weekend get away. If we aren't pregnant by January we are going to be taking a week and a half trip to Ireland which I'm totally excited about. We have been wanting to go for a long time.

[LisaBrown]

I'm sorry Amanda! I can't even start to imagine what you've been through these past months, but my heart really goes out to you and your DH. I think it's great though that you are in it together all the way and that you have discussed things and are on the same page. I hope you can both start healing and start to feel better.

On the other side of things, your vacation to Ireland sounds wonderful! I'm glad that you have something fun to look forward to. I remember you posting about how you wanted to go on another thread, and I really think you both deserve it!

[~Lynda~]

oh hun, i'm so glad that physically it is over for you. I know the waiting is draining!!! i can totally relate to how you feel emotionally and DH for that matter... it is exhausting!!! and it does suck the life outta you!!! it's very very scary from so many different angles.

i think the NTNP is a great thing to do. I wish I could get there. i keep telling myself that, that is what we're going to do, and then, out the window it goes!!! you have a lotta strength girl!!! but your healthy bean is coming!!! I just know it!!

The trip to Ireland sounds scrumptious!!! my in-laws went last year and they loved it!!! something to truly look forward to!!! KUP on you hun and HUGS. if you need anything, feel free to PM me!

[~*Jackie*~]

I can't imagine the pain you've been going through. Just know you have us to lean on through it all... thinking about ya, Amanda!

[Ash]

Amanda, glad to hear that you and Mike have made some decisions for the two of you (without anyone else's input...haha). I know for Nate and I, the break from hard core trying has been fantastic. I honestly do not miss all of the hoop-la of temping, peeing on sticks everyday, and the FANTASTIC doctor in my business all of the time. It may not get me any closer to my BFP, but emotionally and mentally, it goes a long way. I hope you and Mike are able to take the same thing from it.

[SavaAngel]

It sounds like you have a great plan ahead of you. Enjoy some me time and some us time with DH and relax. I agree - I wish I could get to the point where I could NTNP.

[KDD]

I totally understand how you feel Amanda You need to do what's best for you.

Have an awesome trip to Ireland! I'd love to go there one day!

[snsgirl336]

I'm glad that you and your DH are on the same page. I'm sure you'll enjoy your time NTNP. Enjoy your time together and I'm really jealous of your trip to Ireland! Just remember that I'm thinking about you and saying lots of prayers that you get your very sticky baby soon!

[Soape]

Thank you everyone for all the support. I really am truly blessed to have you all in my life.