DH called me to ask me what I did today and when I told him I just researched what the possible problems/solutions could be he told me, he was tired of me moping around and I should just be over it by now. It's only been a day! and its not like his results were low, there were 0 sperm. He's never been very good at showing his feelings, but he's always been sympathetic to mine. I don't understand how he thinks a day should be enough and now we have no worries. I really don't get it. Sorry for venting, but I really don't know who else to talk to about this right now.

[Ash]

I am so sorry. It sounds to me like he might be in a little bit of denial. Give him a couple of days to process it, and I bet he will be ready to talk more about it. Hang in there, girl.

[KDD]

I'm sorry Aimee.

[MommaLee]

We're the results explained to him?
I'm just asking because it almost sounds like he doesn't realize what this all means. My husband didn't get his s/a results....I got them from my ob/gyn.

I'm sorry hun. That is some hard news to process.

My dr told me the results and I told DH. We are both going to my dr on Weds which is also the day he does the 2nd S/A.

I do think his in denial, he just asked me when we were gonna start BDing since I'm supposed to O on Sunday. I told him we were going to only do it the day I O and then after so if there happens to be any sperm in there they don't get out to early and die before the egg gets there. His response to that was, well won't it hurt their motility if we wait until then. I asked him what motility was going to matter if there are no sperm!! He just said he wants to pretend there are going to be sperm. Ugh this is not pretend there are sperm time to me. I'm glad he's doing research, I don't think he even knew the word motility before this, but I don't think any of the research is sinking in and I'm not in the mood to play pretend sperm, pretend sperm are not going to make a baby.

[snsgirl336]

I'm so sorry Aimee. I agree with Ash that he'll probably feel differently in a few days once this has all sunk in.

[Kari_B]

Guys process things so differently than we do. Sometimes it takes them a few extra days to really truly understand what is going on and what it means in the long run. I hope when he has time to let things really sink in and your options are laid out for you that he gets with the program and back in the TTC mind-frame.

[~*Jackie*~]

[trying41more]

im sorry he is acting like its no big deal.. i mean you can not get pregnant b/c he has no sperm count.. but maybe there is something ya'll will be able to do..hang in there!

[SavaAngel]

Guys handle news like this in a very different way than we do. He probably hasn't processed it all yet and might be waiting on the next SA to worry more about it. Good Luck!

[~Lynda~]

i was thinking about you yesterday. and i thought how horrible it would be to find out that I am the sole reason we can't have a baby. plus you have the male ego factor in there. i am SURE your DH is going through denial. that is the way men handle things like that - it's the "oh it will be better tomorrow deal" - so even though i know you are really upset, and i would be too, don't forget to turn the situation around and try to see how you would feel if it were something with you. he has double the "hit" if you will. he found out this horrible news and it's his half that is causing the problem. that's a very hard place to be in!!!! be kind to him and work it out together. you might have to take a different approach to ttc, ie IVF... but that doesn't mean you will never have a child together naturally. Julie beat the odds and you will too!!! HUGS girl!!!

[Soape]

I can't imagine how hard this is for you both. I wonder if he feels guilty for being the reason that you are so upset. THis SA thing can really get to a mans ego and sometimes if the results point to them being the problem, they just don't know how to handle it. I bet he thinks if he can just get everything back to normal then it will magically work oneday. LIke everyone else said it's probably denial and a huge part feeling bad about himself because he is the problem.

[Brandielou]

I'm so sorry I don't think you've done anything wrong at all. He should feel lucky because sometimes it is easy to assign blame and you are standing beside him. I agree with the other ladies about the male ego, but that doesn't mean his attitude hurts you any less. It is a tough situation but you two will make it and you will come out stronger in the end Keep us updated on how things are going