[~*Jackie*~]

Well, there wasn't much good news to spread around, so I'll start with the little there was... My DH has had to have a total of 3 s/a's because of his morphology numbers. Since they improved in the last one, he gets a gold star and my RE is now ok and happy with his s/a. So DH is off the hook at least.

As for me, I'm not. My RE spent some time going through the pathology and operative reports that I brought him from my surgeon, his colleague. Besides the intestines that I have currently covered in endometriosis, the other concern that he found within the reports was this... my ovaries were actually immobilized by the endo. When I had my surgery, my ovaries were detached from what was holding them as the endo was cut, and after endo was removed from my ovaries, my tubes "functioned" and dye ran through normally. My RE told me that with the inflammation the endo is causing, it is causing my tubes to actually swell and be irritated, and he's fairly sure that they are my problem right now as far as getting pregnant. Even though the endo in the reproductive area is gone, I have a TON on my intestines and it is flaring up constantly, causing problems with my tubes- he said once my tube catches my egg, who knows what happens in there. It *could* go through perfectly, but it is likely that it doesn't make it through, gets caught up for too long in there, etc.

Treatment- My RE recommends fully IVF. I was afraid he'd say that. He doesn't want me to do any other fertility meds (not the Clomid cycles I have left, Femara, or injectables) because it will only cause the endo to come back faster, and in his eyes it is also a waste of time. When we talked about IUI, he said the same thing-- he feels it is a waste of time and that it won't up our chances at ALL, but he will do whatever I want to do. He's putting the ball in my court, since he knows the commitment and money that IVF will entail. I told him that if IUI was only a couple hundred bucks, I would prefer to at least try it before using my life savings on an IVF cycle... he's ok with that and is very supportive. He did say "you never know, you could just end up pregnant" in a natural cycle, so hope is not lost, but it is surely diminishing...

Decisions Decisions. Jon and I will be sitting down and having a huge talk tonight, as AF is due on Saturday or Sunday, so we have to decide pretty quickly if we want to just chill on everything or give IUI a shot. My options are this:

1. All natural cycles until January or February (or a month or two later- but not too long because of the endo) and then go forward with an IVF cycle.

2. Try a natural IUI cycle or two-- I worked it out with my RE that I won't do any monitoring (because of those $518 u/s's), no bloodwork since I'm not on meds, and only an IUI. The cost is actually under $500. If a cycle or two of that doesn't work, we move on to IVF at some point.

The hospital is offering the IVF Orientation class- the first week in November and one in December. It is recommended to me that whatever we decide, we should attend one of those to have that under our belts.

That's it- those are our options. He says that if we have an 8% chance to conceive on our own (now while my ovaries are clear, it will decrease with every month), I will have a 45% chance with IVF. He said the chance won't change at all with an IUI because my tubes are the problem. But I don't know if I can "not" try it, ya know?

What would you do? I know it's a personal decision, and Jon and I haven't talked about this at all yet (he only got the full picture real quick when I called him on my way back to work), but I'm sort of torn up inside. I truly thought I'd come out of there with a Femara script and a plan for an IUI....

[Celry]

That's a hard decision. I think I'd go with option 2 if money wasn't a concern just because it would make me feel like i was doing something to help just a little bit more. You might spend a few hundred and save thousands by not doing IVF.

I'm sorry you didn't get the news you were looking for. Those appointments are always really difficult. I hope he's wrong and you conceive without IVF. There was a girl in the MA section last year who conceived on her own even though she was told he had about a 1% chance.

I wish you luck in anything you decide.

[aogilvie]

If I were you (and I'm not, so bear that in mind), I would "plan" on the IVF, but try the IUI first. I would really, really try to not get too disappointed if it doesn't work though and instead, just keep moving forward with your next step in the plan, the IVF if possible.

CRAP!!! I'm so sorry you got the news you did at your appt. I'm feeling for you, believe me... we all are. Good luck with your conversation with your DH tonight. You'll guys will come up with the plan that's best for you.

Lots of love, Ana.

[Kari_B]

Originally Posted by Celry

There was a girl in the MA section last year who conceived on her own even though she was told he had about a 1% chance.

That was Christine.... she just tried their final IVF which failed. They are moving on to adoption now.

I just wanted to give you another HUG! I'm so sorry Jackie!

[ChristinaR]

HUGS Jackie I know this isn't how you wanted things to go today. I'm so sorry hun. That is a really tough decision. I think if it were me I would want to up my chances as high as I could go. I would try one IUI and if that didn't work I would go right into IVF. If money was an issue I would take out a loan or apply for a medical credit card. It's not an easy decision either way. I'll be praying for you guys that you can come to a decision that is right for you and will make you happiest. Lots of hugs girl!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks for the support! You ladies are always so wonderful.

We've talked a lot of it over tonight, and although we are in no means ready to make a final decision, we have discussed our options and will move forward a little bit to start. We are going to go ahead and do an IUI cycle coming up this cycle. Since it's completely natural, I call the office on Day 1 to give them a "heads-up", use OPKs, call them the morning of my first positive OPK, then go in the next day for the IUI. DH said he doesn't want to spend any more unnecessary time doing it more than once, but he understands not wanting to skip this "step" in the process. If that cycle doesn't work, we will go to the IVF Orientation the first week in December... and then take December and January to think and make our final decisions. IF we move on to IVF, we probably won't do that until February or March. We aren't 100% decided either way, so the holidays will be a good time to brainstorm.

We've also gotten information on ARC from my RE's office, which we could finance through, if necessary. From what I've read, they have a program that you pay for the fresh cycle, and if it doesn't work, you get a free shot at a FET (through ARC), so that's a possibility, too. I'm just scared to death that after all of this, we'll end up empty handed... I know that's not the way to think, but I can't wrap my head around our lack of options right now.

[SavaAngel]

I think that is the best plan. Do a IUI and then move on if necessary. Best of luck Jackie - I will pray for you!

[snsgirl336]

Oh Jackie, my heart is just breaking for you right now. I think you and Jon have a good plan. I'd probably want to give the IUI a try too if I were in your shoes- cause you never know.

Please don't lose hope though. I know today seems like a grim day and it's not the news you were hoping to hear, but look at all the ladies who we've seen here overcome so many obstacles and have their babies. I just know that you'll be a success story! And I'll be your biggest cheer leader the whole time! I'm here if you need anything at all! You know where to find me!

[~Lynda~]

Jacs, i think your plan is a good one. I was going to say, don't waste too much time if your RE is giving you an 8% chance. But I agree, I think it's worth one IUI cycle just to move on fully to IVF if needed. I know it is a lot of money, but you can't put a price tag on the lifetime of love you will get from a child! if it were my first child, I would borrow, beg and steal to make it happen. I am here for support and hugs!! I will pray for you and Jon, as always!! Sisters in TTC!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Lynda... that's where it's a personal decision, you know? It is our first child (most likely our only child if it happens), and I want to do everything we can, but trying IVF countless times at $15,000 a shot isn't feasible by any means either.

Adoption is not an option for us as we've already discussed it.

[Soape]

Jackie, I'm sitting here in tears thinking about you right now. I think that DH and I would do what you and Jon have decided to do. If these are your "last chances" I'd say give it your all. I know the money part is hard. I hope that you will never need to fo the IVF. I'm praying for you

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks so much ladies... you all have already helped me so much.

[Mom.to.PinknBlue]

I am so sorry you have a decision like this to make. I say make the decision you are most comfortable with.