[♥Ashley♥]

Please excuse me if this becomes a long vent... (Sort of a X-post from my ttc journal)

Just a little background on the situation for those of you who dont know- My DH's work was getting really slow there for a while. A few weeks he only worked 10-20 hours which hurt our savings account pretty bad. Were not the type who will go on spending money and putting things on credit cards when we can tell that his work has been slow and probably will be slow for a littl while so we cut out EVERYTHING extra for a while. Things are picking up at work but 3 weeks of 10-20 hours at work and 1 week with just 24 hours did a number on our savings account. So we have to work extra hard to build it back up (I FREAK out when we dont have emergency money, so ive been working extra hours to build it back up). Were really just trying to recover right now.

I just couldnt bring myself to go knowing that it will bring on a big debt to us right now that we cant take on. I had to think with my wallet instead of my heart and be responsible. This is not what I wanted at all, but I cant do that to us right now (incur such a bill that we cant take on). It really really sucks. ESPECIALLY if we actually get pregnant we need to be in a good financial place not drowning in debt.

So I guess we just continue on trying...not knowing...until we feel comfortable spending that much money. I really have no idea how much it would be but my dr said it "would be pretty expensive" to go through all the testing with very little health insurance coverage, not to mention any treatments. Its really hard, I felt SO hopeful and excited to be taking a step forward by going to that appointment, but now were just in the same position as before...trying but being SUPER scared that we'll get pregnant and have a FOURTH miscarriage. So im trying to not think negatively and im hoping maybe our next bean can be a sticky one without any medical help...and if not, well then im looking forward to when our savings gets back to where I feel comfortable with spending that much money.

[♥Ashley♥]

And a little cycle update- CD18 and I dont think ive o'd yet ???? This hasnt happened since November of last year and that was the cycle I got pregnant for the first time! Yay! Maybe history will repeat itself! I o'd on CD21 on my November cycle last year (which turned out to be Dec 1st that I o'd) maybe I will tomorrow on the 1st again!!! For some reason this gives me a lot of hope for this cycle!! Im going to be positive this cycle instead of negative for once!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

I'm so sorry that you had to cancel the appointment- I know how much you were looking forward to it and hopefully getting some answers. I do think that you are making a very responsible decision- the right one for you and your DH- and that you will be rewarded for that down the road. I really hope you never have to experience that kind of loss again, and that you end up getting that sticky sticky bean all on your own! HUGS!

[snsgirl336]

I'm sorry you had to cancel. That is so frustrating. But you are definitely doing the responsible thing by making sure you don't put yourself in a hole financially. We had to post-pone my HSG a few times because of something similar. It sucks, but hopefully you'll be able to re-schedule the RE appointment very soon!

[KMH]

That had to be a really tough decision, and I really admire you for making it. Your future kids will be really lucky to have such responsible parents who always make the best decisions for them, even when those decisions aren't fun. I hope you can reschedule very soon...well, nevermind. I hope you don't have to see the RE because you'll be celebrating a BFP!

[aogilvie]

This whole thing sucks, I swear. That for all of us, so much of starting family revolves around money. I'm so sorry that you and your hubby had to make this decision. Like everyone has already said though, you've made a really responsible choice. Cheers to you... honestly.

[SavaAngel]

Sorry you had to cancel your appt. I hope you get a nice sticky surprise.

I'm soooo sorry Ash!!

[jensma]

Ash I really hope that history does repeat itself. You made the best decision you can for yourself and I hope that things work out very well for you!!

[LindseyMarie]

*hugs* I am sure that was a tough decision to make to cancel your RE appointment! I really hope history repeats itself for you and you can get a christmas BFP again.

[midnight_starr]

Awww Ash, I am so sorry..

[~Lynda~]

big big hugs to you Ashley!!! i know how hard it was for you to make the decision! i can totally understand where you are coming from!! i hope you get a bfp without the expensive RE!!!