[rollopodio]

as some of you know my cycles for the last year and a half after stopping depo have been non existant almost. my last af was i think dec 28th. dont remember the exact day. i tested on the last day of feb becuase my last cycle was 2.5 months and they seemed to be getting shorter little by little. i tested and got a bfn. usually af arrives shortly after that. (sometimes i test hoping af will come). (usually never fails). so i have been waiting all through march for af. never showed

at the end of march i was going to get a pap done at the birthcenter and i thought it would be a good idea to just take another test before i go so then if it was positive i could have the blood work done while i was there. anyway, it was negative. no biggie. i expected it.

so the midwife did my pap and said something along the lines of you can still conceive with long cycles(even as long as mine)...all that you can really do is start temping to know if you are ovulating or not....you've had one child so there isnt a reason to believe that you are infertile...the depo should be "worn off" by now.

that was march 28th. i though for sure af would be here by now. there is no sign of her at all! i am so frustrated. so i started thinking last night that maybe i might be pregnant so i went and bought two target brand tests and this morning i took one. granted i only got 4 hours of sleep last night and i dont know if that is enough to bring forth the best result but i took the test. so i'm sitting here staring at a test that i took at 10:00 am. (it is 12:15 now) and i'm pulling my hair out. i see a line. i'm not going to take a picture of it because i am positive you wont be able to see it. it is a line. it has color. but it is so light it makes me question if i'm just seeing things. i've thought about an evap line but it was there in less than the 10 minutes. i didnt look at the test until about 5 minutes so i dont know if it was there before. it looks blue to me.

when i was pregnant with ashton the second line was so dark that there wasnt even a question of is it there or not. it was darker than the control line. i keep looking to see if the line goes away because i always thought that control lines went away after sometime. i cant throw it away and i cant stop looking at it. i'm driving myself nuts trying not to get my hopes up but at the same time it looks like a blue line to me.

i probably wouldnt be so skeptical about this but last year i had 8 positive tests with several diffrent brands and from two diffrent doctors heard you arent pregnant. my count was 5 the first blood test and 2 the second. i'm sorry that this is so long. i'm pretty much just venting. i dont vent about this ttc stuff much becuase i'm trying not to focus on it but then it builds up and it seems to have come out in one big vent.

thanks for listening i feel better.

[iamkc]

Aw, Rebecca...I'm angry with your doc/nurse and feel like I shouldn't be. I guess I just want someone to take you in, tell you how to get your cycles on track, and get you on your merry way to getting pregnant!!! It's not that you CAN'T get pregnant with long cycles, but having regular ones sure makes it a hell of a lot easier, huh? Are they even willing to discuss options with you?

As for the positive test, I have no idea. I remember what you went through with the 8 positives last time and having no answers at all. Did this doc/nurse even bring that up? Anyway, I will admit: I like Target brand tests. Could you hold your pee for a couple of hours and use that second one? Will you just try again in the morning? Do you have any idea if you've ovulated? How do you usually know? Or do you? Is it possible that you could have O'd within the past couple of weeks? I'm not doubting you--just asking questions!

I don't really have any words of wisdom, but would suggest that you test again in the morning or later this afternoon. NOT holding pee in, I've had a test come up positive *quickly* at 12 DPO in the afternoon, even after a glass of water. I just want you to have peace of mind!!! (And, of course, I'm insanely curious!)

How long had you waited to read the line?

I hate that you have to drive yourself so crazy over this whole thing. What would your midwife do if you called to ask a few questions and said something about the test? Do you think you'd be able to get in for a blood test and perhaps get a few more questions answered???

to you. I'm so sorry that this is so difficult! *I'm* frustrated *for* you! Please, please, PLEASE let us know what happens!!!

[DreamChaser]

- I hope you get some answers soon - hopefully good news. Hang in there - I know it is tough

[rollopodio]

Aw, Rebecca...I'm angry with your doc/nurse and feel like I shouldn't be. I guess I just want someone to take you in, tell you how to get your cycles on track, and get you on your merry way to getting pregnant!!! It's not that you CAN'T get pregnant with long cycles, but having regular ones sure makes it a hell of a lot easier, huh? Are they even willing to discuss options with you?

As for the positive test, I have no idea. I remember what you went through with the 8 positives last time and having no answers at all. Did this doc/nurse even bring that up? Anyway, I will admit: I like Target brand tests. Could you hold your pee for a couple of hours and use that second one? Will you just try again in the morning? Do you have any idea if you've ovulated? How do you usually know? Or do you? Is it possible that you could have O'd within the past couple of weeks? I'm not doubting you--just asking questions!

I don't really have any words of wisdom, but would suggest that you test again in the morning or later this afternoon. NOT holding pee in, I've had a test come up positive *quickly* at 12 DPO in the afternoon, even after a glass of water. I just want you to have peace of mind!!! (And, of course, I'm insanely curious!)

How long had you waited to read the line?

I hate that you have to drive yourself so crazy over this whole thing. What would your midwife do if you called to ask a few questions and said something about the test? Do you think you'd be able to get in for a blood test and perhaps get a few more questions answered???

to you. I'm so sorry that this is so difficult! *I'm* frustrated *for* you! Please, please, PLEASE let us know what happens!!![/b]

i asked her if there was any kind of testing that i could do. maybe progesterone testing or something along that line and all the midwife said was aside from coming in every day to have my blood taken temping was the only thing i could do. i said fine becuase i knew that if i went to a regular doctor he/she would just say that i need to temp. i went out and bought a bbt and the taking charge of your fertility book and made a deal with myself that i would temp for 2 cycles (i figure the equivalent to 6 months) and go to a regular doctor and see what can be done. now i'm just afraid that this cycle will never end.

i stand behind the birthcenter. i love what they do and their philosophy about birthing and pregnancy care but as for anything else i feel that it is just frustrating more than anything. i believe that since they are more into things being natural that they want my body just to work it out. women probably went through this in the 1800's and got through it so that is all i have to do...just get through it. kwim?

at this point i dont think i'm ovulating. or at least not well enough to get pregnant. i dont track anything like cp or cm and have just recently started temping. we always just sort of tried to stick to the sex every other day method. i feel like i'm sort of being passed over because i'm young. it really sucks. i told the midwife about the 8 positive tests and she didnt say anything. she sort of just shrugged it off.

i just took the second test because i couldnt wait and there isnt a second line but it doesnt really help me becuase i didnt know for sure before. the first test i didnt look at it until about 5 or 6 minutes. someone came to the door so i had to leave it in the bathroom. there is a 10 minute time limit so even though it may not have been in the 2-3 minute time limit it was under the 10 minute deadline. on another note i pretty much stared at it from the 5 min. mark on trying to decide if it was a line or if i was just seeing things and i'm not sure when i "decided" it was a line.

i thought maybe af is late because i just made this big move to va but i am all moved in and having no stress at all (aside from this of course and this is always brewing). maybe i should make an appointment with a doctor and see if i can get some meds to bring on af.


""update""----i can now see a + on the second test. it is very very very light and looks to have color but i cant tell. it is over the 10 minute mark though so i dont know.

[barrycarrot]

Hi Rebecca. Just wanted to let you know i'm thinking about. I can feel your hoplessness and i'm so sorry. I would absolutely demand answers or find another doctor. Something is not right hon. They should either give you meds to bring on AF (even every month if needed!) and look into why you are getting these BFP's. SOMETHING is not right. I wish you all the best. Try to keep your head up. I know it is so frustrating to not have answers. hugs!

[kegohn]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through all of this. It's got to be so frustrating. Having a regular cycle is crazy enough. It's rediculous though that they won't do more for you. When you said that they are just looking over you because you're young....I feel that way a little although I haven't gotten nearly as far into this as you. But when I brought it up with my doctor 2 months ago (after 10 mos ttc) they said you have one and you're young - things should work. So yeah that's definately frustrating to be told things should be fine because you're young. Anyway I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and please keep us updated on your situation. I hope they are able to do something for you soon. It's just not right that you are having to go through all of this.

Oh and PS - your little boy is ADORABLE!!! Just needed to add that.

[DreamChaser]

Have you had any kind of blood workup done - just to see how your various hormones are? If you haven't I would recommend that you do - at the very least to give yourself some peace-of-mind.

Don't under estimate the power of stress - my doctor told me the stress of TTCing is enough to cause your cycles to go out of whack - she thinks that and the fact that I have gained some weight are contributing to my long cycles (all my bloods came back normal).

[rollopodio]

Have you had any kind of blood workup done - just to see how your various hormones are? If you haven't I would recommend that you do - at the very least to give yourself some peace-of-mind.

Don't under estimate the power of stress - my doctor told me the stress of TTCing is enough to cause your cycles to go out of whack - she thinks that and the fact that I have gained some weight are contributing to my long cycles (all my bloods came back normal).[/b]

i havnt had anything done becuase well i dont know. i havnt specifically demanded it and when i bring it up to a midwife they act like there isnt really anything wrong. my body will work it out. i'm definately going to go to the doc though. a regular doc. maybe i can get something to get af started.

i wonder sometimes if it is the stress of ttc. i'm really good about not really feeling like i'm stressing over it. every now and then i'll think about it but not for long. that is why i never temped. because then it was something that i HAD to do every day and it was FOR ttc.

[alexa]

I just wanted to say that I have really long and irregular cycles too and I know how frustrating it is. I just finally ended my longest at 81 days. I went to a couple of different doctors after about 9 months of this and going insane. The first just kept telling me to relax and keep trying for at least a few more months. Finally, I felt so helpless and unlistened to that I decided to try a different doctor. The new doctor has a different philosophy and is willing to work with me to do what it is that I want to do, whether that means waiting some more or starting with some testing. Well I went for the testing. So now that I have started a new cycle I have having some hormone bloodwork tests done on Monday and then an HSG done on Friday to make sure tubes and uterus are all clear and DH will have a semen analysis in a couple weeks. If it all pans out we will start Clomid to help shorten and regulate my cycles and to help me ovulate regularly.

At the time I went to the dr. she also gave me a Rx for Provera which makes your period come. She told me to wait a couple more weeks and see if I would start AF on my own and if not then get the Rx filled and take that.

For me just knowing that I have options is a lot of relief and helps me to have more patience because I feel like I have more control over it rather than some doctor who is not willing to help.

Sorry, I wasn't try to make this about me, I just wanted to share my recent experience with you and hope that might help you in some way to handle and deal with your situation.

Good luck and keep us posted!