[~*Jackie*~]

Jon and I finally sat down last night, and had the heart to heart we've been waiting for regarding IVF, the $15,000 cost, and our decision has been made.
We ARE going to go ahead and give this one shot. We will try a fresh IVF cycle, and if we aren't successful, we will both mourn the thought of being parents (hoping that a miracle could happen until I go back on BCP due to endo). If we have any frozen embies, we'll try a frozen embryo transfer when we want- no rush on that of course, but we're not going to count on that working or count on having the embies we need right now. More than the $$$, DH was more concerned about me, which of course made me bawl my eyes out. He's just really really worried about me and my mental state of mind if we do all of this and it doesn't work, OR if we do all this and I'd have a miscarriage. He said that concerned him more than any of this. He knows how I do bottle things up inside, and how I've been struggling through our ttc journey lately... His honest opinion about IVF in general is that it cost too much money, the odds just stink, and he would say "no". BUT, he doesn't want to be the one to tell me "no you are unable to have kids", which I am thankful for. He also understands that we would be questioning whether or not this would have worked if we just walked away right now and quit TTC. Every day of our lives we would just be wondering. Sooo, we are moving on to IVF! This will be the one and only shot at a fresh cycle, so please bear with me and be as wonderful as you always are- I am so going to need you! My next steps include calling when I get AF (which will never happen unless my body decides to O one of these days!!), making an appointment at that time with the financial counselor and nurses (this is where DH and I both have to be present to sign all of the paperwork and then give them all their money ICK)- this appointment will be approximately 3 weeks after AF comes- I have to tell them which specialty pharmacy I have chosen asap (still deciding between two of them), having the nurses order my meds, then get ready for my February AF! That should put us (assuming I O in the next few days) around late February/early March to start! I'm SO nervous/excited/overwhelmed/scared and hopeful all in one!

[♥Ashley♥]

Jackie, you have NO IDEA how happy I am for you guys! And excited! Ive been waiting around for this post all day!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Ash! I feel like we're putting all of our eggs in one basket so to speak, but I'm just so glad we're giving it that shot. It's a lot financially, mentally, and physically to endure, so I'm really hoping that we get our little miracle out of all of this!!

I need some O dust now!!

[KDD]

I'm so happy for you Jackie!! You'll be a couple of cycles ahead of me so I'm going to rely on you to post details on everything!

Of course. I'm still hopeful that you will have a miracle before you need to do IVF though.

[~*Jackie*~]

Thank you, Kimberley! I will surely post details (if not so much here, then for sure in my ttc#1 journal). Thanks for the O dust! I totally need it! *rolling in it*

[Ash]

Jackie, I am so nervous, excited, scared.....pretty much every emotion for you. But I tell you one thing...I am going to pray everyday that this leads you to your miracle baby. I am here for you if you need anything through all of this. I know you have a fabulous support system with your DH, though! Oh man, I am so excited that I really don't even know what to say! Haha...I guess I will stop rambling now!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks so much, Ash!! I may just need you more than you know! I'm terrified, but also excited all rolled into one! It hasn't sunk in too much yet, as I'm still pretty stressed about which meds I'm going with and which pharmacy to choose, but hopefully I'll be able to "enjoy" the thought soon.

Oh and I woke up to EWCM, so the O dust must be working! I hope I get a positive OPK today!!

[KDD]

Here's some more dust. I hope you get your + OPK today!!!

[jensma]

Jackie I am thrilled to see this. There is so much i could say and go on and on and on! But i won't! Just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers during this time!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Kimberley! I got a negative (STILL) on my digi, but a very very positive on my IC. I trust the digi more, so I'm hoping that with these O pains and CM, tomorrow morning I'll finally get a smilie face! I'm temping now though so that I can confirm! *rolling in the dust*

Kate- thank you so much! It means so much to me to have your support! I'm sure going to need it!!

[SavaAngel]

I am so happy for you! I hope and pray this is it and you get a bundle (or two) out of the long process! Best of luck!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Christina!

I finally got my positive OPK this morning!!
Now I thought yesterday's IC was positive (while the digi was negative), but check this out! It's the darkest IC I've ever seen! (Sorry for the crappy quality- I used my camera on my phone.)

I hope this is a super eggie!

[~Lynda~]

jacs girl, we are totally here for you!!!! just like all the other ladies, I will pray for you SOOOOOO hard!!!! I want you to get your sticky bfp so bad. Sometimes I think being on JM is so helpful, but there are other times I realize that not only do I have my own disappointment to deal with, but also my friends here who are going through the same thing. I wish to death, I could just blink and give all of us our well deserved bfps. Your DH sounds just like mine! very very sweet.

You let us know if you need ANYTHING!!! we love you and we are here to help you in any way we can!!! starting my prayers right now!

[~*Jackie*~]

Awww, thank you SO much Lynda! I think JM has been such a blessing!

[ChristinaR]

Jackie I'm so happy for you

I'm so glad you and Jon are moving on to IVF. I can't wait to follow your journey. Good luck this cycle. I hope that you catch that eggie this cycle and won't have to worry about anything else. Good luck hun. I'll be stalking you

[~*Jackie*~]

Thank you, Christina! I'm glad we're moving on too! One way or the other anyway! Please do stalk-- I need lots of support!!

[Soape]

I'm praying everyday that this happens for you. IVF here you come!!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Amanda!! I really appreciate it!