[~*Jackie*~]

With the enormous amount of pain I have been in this cycle, physically from the endo, we have talked and talked and talked about it and we've both decided it's best for me to go back on BCP. My RE has agreed and I start them tonight. I am hoping to keep the pain at bay for a while, until we decide to do our FET (frozen embryo transfer). I have to stop taking them 2 months before we plan on doing a FET. The pain was just so bad last night/this morning, and I can't have it interfering with my life any more- a week each month. It's a VERY hard decision for me personally- DH has been advocating this since my pain began- but to me it's giving up on ttc the old natural way completely. We have 2 chances left with our frozen embies, and we have been kicking around the idea of doing one of those in July/August/September... sometime around there. If we aren't able to do it then, then it won't be until this time next year.

Now that we won't be ttc officially (still breaks my heart...), I will most likely not be around here so much. I really need to try to get myself to move on a bit and not even think about ttc for a while and try to enjoy the time with my hubby. Easier said than done, I know. The fact of the matter is we have 2 cycles left to try to conceive our babies forever, and I need to try to accept right now that it may just be Jon & I forever. That hurts, but I need to start to accept it now, and hope and pray for a miracle in those frozen embies.

I'm way too emotionally invested in so many of you and your TTC journeys that I won't disappear. I still want to cheer you all on and I pray that you each get your miracle babies. Many of you know how to get ahold of me off of JM, so please feel free. I just won't be frequenting here as much since it's a little tough right now.

[~Lynda~]

jacs, pm me your email address. i am sad at the thought of not seeing you here, but i totally understand where you are coming from. you gotta do what's best for you!!! i will pray and pray for you and your FETs!!!! hugs and more hugs, and i'd love to stay in contact off JM if that works for you!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Thanks, Lynda. I'll PM you my email address. I'll be on here but not nearly as much, ya know? I still want to know what's going on with everyone, but it's extremely tough when you aren't ttc to be involved in a ttc board. I think there's a few of us in this same boat right now.

[SavaAngel]

You have to do what is right for you and you have found that. I wish you the best of luck with your FET's! If we make it to IUI in the summer/fall we may end up in a DDC together! Feel free to contact me anytime on facebook or send me your email address.

Jackie I'm sorry to hear about your pain and going back on BCP, hopefully after some BCP a FET will be just the thing to get your BFP! Take some time for yourself and do everything you know you wouldn't be able to do if you were trying (it helps me get through some days lol) drink some wine, go on roller coasters. I know how hard it is to stay involved on the board when you're not ttc, I'm pretty bad at it even though I do try to read the posts here even if I don't post back.

[snsgirl336]

Oh Jackie, I'm so sorry that you're back in so much pain again. As if this whole ttc thing wasn't difficult enough for you, you have that to deal with as well.

I really hope and pray that when the time is right for you and Jon, your FET will go amazingly. I definitely know how you feel about the not really being able to ttc and watching everyone pass you by.

I was thinking we should try to maybe get together.. .we're really not that far from each other! It'll be a little trip to maybe take your mind off of things?!?!? You know how to get a hold of me if you're interested!

Stay strong and know that we're all here for you no matter what! We love you and we want nothing but the best for you!!!!!

[NortheastWifey]

((((HUGS)))) I always check on you here, Jackie. Just wanted to offer my support and let you know I'm always thinking of you.