How??

wishfulgal · #1 June 4th, 2010, 01:56 PM

Do you stay positive and deal with the disappointment of not getting pregnant month after month?

I know I haven't been trying as long as lot of you...and honestly that scares me b/c if I'm this sad after 6 months of TTC with no luck (although we've been NTNP for 10 months before that while I was BFing with no AF), how bad is it going to be if I'm not pregnant in a year or two or three? I'm surrounded by women who get pregnant on the first try, who can plan their child's birthday down to the month, who seem to take for granted that if you want a baby, you can have one. I feel cheated out of the excitement that everyone else gets to feel when they try to have a baby...when you actually have hope that you are actually going to get a baby out of the deal.
It's so hard for me to think it is ever going to happen since it hasn't yet. It's hard for me to muster up the energy to try for another month when I don't really think anything is ever going to happen. We are starting the process of getting checked out. DH is doing a SA next week, and I have an appointment with my OB/GYN in early July. I feel a little hopeful that we may get some answers/help....but part of me feels bitter that we have to do all of this to get pregnant when literally SEVEN of my friends are pregnant right now after either the first try or an oops. I can't imagine

What do you do to stay positive and keeps sane while TTC? I need help.

~Lynda~ · #2 June 4th, 2010, 02:52 PM

i try not to think about it. i just keep plugging along and try to get excited with every cycle. i believe in positive thinking and it's positive outcome on things. but sometimes it really does swallow you. you just have to pick yourself up by your bootstrings and keep trying!!! keeping busy too helps!!!

Red Sox Mommy · #3 June 4th, 2010, 05:39 PM

I wish I knew what to tell you. One thing that helps me is having a plan. Like, "okay next cycle I am going to try instead cup" or "I'm going to do this supplement this cycle" etc.

I also knit and try to keep my mind off of things.

This being said... I don't think it does a whole lot for me. Some days are just really really bad and I have to just plug through it. My three pregnancies all happened as "oops" events, so the fact that I can't get pregnant now is heartbreaking. I have been trying for about 11 months now, and I just feel so despondent.

wishfulgal · #4 June 4th, 2010, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Sox Mommy

I wish I knew what to tell you. One thing that helps me is having a plan. Like, "okay next cycle I am going to try instead cup" or "I'm going to do this supplement this cycle" etc.

I also knit and try to keep my mind off of things.

This being said... I don't think it does a whole lot for me. Some days are just really really bad and I have to just plug through it. My three pregnancies all happened as "oops" events, so the fact that I can't get pregnant now is heartbreaking. I have been trying for about 11 months now, and I just feel so despondent.

Yeah, I always do the "we'll try ____ next time" thing. I'm only 3DPO and already devising our strategy for next cycle. The sad thing is, I don't think there is a whole lot left for us to try. We started out trying pretty hardcore using preseed, mucinex vitamin B6, all the things we used when we got pregnant with #1. Since then we've done the instead cups, soy isoflavones, grapefruit juice, fish oil, green tea....I'm running out of things to try!

to you...I hope your BFP comes soon!

aogilvie · #5 June 5th, 2010, 07:30 AM

I went through the same thing around 6 months. You hit a wall and the anxiety really starts to get you down. I felt like I was putting way more pressure on myself than was good for me. I know a lot of girls don't do this, but the only thing I could think of to get out of the terrible place that I had built for myself was to start talking. That's when I joined this board and heard all the stories from people going through the same thing. But the thing that helped the most was finding people in my life that had gone through this as well. I just started "admitting" we'd been trying forever to friends and family and that its been frustrating and its amazing how many people jump right in when they hear that and say they had a hard time too. For example, in my department at work, there are twenty women working and six of them had trouble. Whether it was because they couldn't have kids due to a previous cancer, had to have IVF and it worked, or it didn't work so they have no kids. I had no idea. The point is the world is full of people who were able to have kids and if feels like thats all you see. But if you just barely scratch the surface, women and couples like us are ALL over the place. I needed to NORMALIZE my situation and stop feeling so alone, talking did it for me. We're now at 18 months trying and are finally using MA, so our journey isn't over yet either. But let me tell you, after opening up and taking the pressure off myself, I'm feeling much better and able to handle the roller coaster in a much healthier way. I don't know if this helps at all, but good luck. I feel for you

SavaAngel · #6 June 5th, 2010, 08:51 PM

Honestly, it is HARD. If I don't have a problem getting pregnant next time I will still remember the pain and tears that I went through to get this one. It took us 2 years and 2 months to get pregnant (28 cycles) and honestly it was a cycle I was sure was out of the question already.

I tried just about everything. I (we) went through just about every test the OB was willing to do (ultrasounds, SA, HSG, blood work, etc). Found out I have PCOS and tried metformin and clomid with no success. Essentially I tried the "relax" approach when we got pregnant. I was taking an OTC prenatal, B6, Vitamin D and extra Folic Acid. I did not do mucinex, OPK's, or temping.

Something else I tried in the past was Fertilitea. I think the makers of it also have a special fertility prenatal, but we didn't try that. I don't know that the tea really helped me but it didn't taste too bad. I had discontinued it by about year 1 probably.

KDD · #7 June 6th, 2010, 12:57 PM

At the start of each cycle I would pick out something that I wanted for myself as a sort of "consolation prize" if AF showed. Then if she did, and she did a lot, I would go and buy it. It wasn't always something expensive, but it did make me feel a bit better.