[Ash]

Hey girlies, sorry that I have been so MIA. I between school and a new job, I am pretty much tapped out. I really do not want to get on the computer much when I am not in school or work. I hope you are all doing well, and I am so sorry to see so many of the "vets" still here.

A little about us, I had some crazy long periods a few months ago and went in to see my doctor about it. She put me on 3 months of BC to regulate that all out. It worked and things are back to normal thank goodness.

In the mean time, the break was nice. I have two SILs who got pregnant (again) during of all of this (baby #2 for one and baby #3 for the other). So essentially since we started TTC when have 5 new babies in the family (of course three of those are over 2 years old).

So onto the news....
I know that a lot of you aren't going to like hearing this, and really I haven't said it out loud yet (other than to Nathan), but we have made the decision for now to stop trying and remain on BC. Part of that has to do with me being in school. The other part is that we love our life, we love each other, and kind of determined that the stress of TTC isn't worth compromising what we have. I am not saying that we will never go back to it (most definitely not until I am out of school) or that we will not approach the subject of adoption. I think a decision those subjects will be more clear once I am finished with school.

So how do we feel about this? We we are sad, devastated, hurt, angry sometimes, jealous of people who get pregnant easily. Of course all of those feelings are not foreign to many of you. I think though we have both reached a point where we can for the most part put all of that behind us. I do still get sad at times, angry at times, and feel jealously when I see moms with babies (dad's with babies really get me), but those times are fewer and further between. I am learning to appreciate what we have and realize that there are a lot of parents out there that are jealous of what we have. We get to go when we want, do what we want, sleep late, and most of all, we have the BEST relationship.

Anyway, so I know that I have written a book here, but I want you girls to know how thankful I am to have each of you in my life. I appreciate all of the support that you have given Nathan and I. I am cheering for each and every one of you to achieve the goals that you have set for your life. I love you all.

[KDD]

Ash there's nothing wrong with loving your life. Jason and I had a similar conversation and we agreed that we could be happy without a baby if the IVF didn't work. It's awesome that you and Nathan have such a good time together.

Good luck with school. I've been following your progress on FB and I know that you're kicking butt already!

[~*Jackie*~]

I just have to say that is one of the most BEAUTIFUL posts I have read in a long long time. I know you and I have spoken about it before- and I feel the same about my relationship as well, but I give you big props for the conversation and decision you have made at this point and am behind you 100%. I love you to death and I am so excited for you to be in school and doing what you've longed to do as well. Please stay in touch (you know how to get me!!!), and I'll still say some prayers that you get peace and a miracle down the road.

[~Lynda~]

Ash, I have tears in my eyes reading your post! you are right, there are MANY people jealous of what you and your hubby have! it's rare and it's precious! We are starting our first IVF and the stress it is putting on us as a couple is immense. the other night we got into it and I told my DH that it's not worth it if it makes us all stressed and edgy. we decided we would take a deep breath and continue forward for now. But I totally get what you are saying!!! I'm hoping that two IVF cycles will result in a little miracle, but if not, i'm hoping I have the strength to move forward. Reading posts like yours, helps me to know it's possible! I wish you the best life has to offer. I know you are very busy but I truly have missed seeing you around here and hope that you get some time to stop in and chat with us!! for now HUGS!

[Ash]

Originally Posted by KDD

Ash there's nothing wrong with loving your life. Jason and I had a similar conversation and we agreed that we could be happy without a baby if the IVF didn't work. It's awesome that you and Nathan have such a good time together.

Good luck with school. I've been following your progress on FB and I know that you're kicking butt already!

Thank you, Kim. I am so happy for you and can't wait to meet your little one. You are so very deserving of this LO!

Originally Posted by ~*Jackie*~

I just have to say that is one of the most BEAUTIFUL posts I have read in a long long time. I know you and I have spoken about it before- and I feel the same about my relationship as well, but I give you big props for the conversation and decision you have made at this point and am behind you 100%. I love you to death and I am so excited for you to be in school and doing what you've longed to do as well. Please stay in touch (you know how to get me!!!), and I'll still say some prayers that you get peace and a miracle down the road.

Jackie, when I think about you and Jon, I honestly think about Nathan and I. We are so similar in our relationships and struggles. I am so happy that I can compare us to such a great couple of people. I am thankful that you understand where we are coming from and support us in this leg of our journey. I think it's a little easier decision to make when you know that the man standing beside you is absolutely your soulmate. I am so blessed, and I know you are as well. I will not be a stranger. I absolutely couldn't imagine not knowing what is going on with the girls here.

[Ash]

Originally Posted by ~Lynda~

Ash, I have tears in my eyes reading your post! you are right, there are MANY people jealous of what you and your hubby have! it's rare and it's precious! We are starting our first IVF and the stress it is putting on us as a couple is immense. the other night we got into it and I told my DH that it's not worth it if it makes us all stressed and edgy. we decided we would take a deep breath and continue forward for now. But I totally get what you are saying!!! I'm hoping that two IVF cycles will result in a little miracle, but if not, i'm hoping I have the strength to move forward. Reading posts like yours, helps me to know it's possible! I wish you the best life has to offer. I know you are very busy but I truly have missed seeing you around here and hope that you get some time to stop in and chat with us!! for now HUGS!

Lynda, I won't pretend that it is easy to move forward, but I think sometimes you just have to look at the blessings that you are given and be thankful for them. That is what we have done. It's hard, of course, thinking that we may never have our own children, but like I said before....it is not worth our relationship because it is so precious to us both. I hope that your first IVF cycle is the ONE for you and you can put this whole journey behind you. I am pulling for you!

[♥Ashley♥]

Originally Posted by ~*Jackie*~

I just have to say that is one of the most BEAUTIFUL posts I have read in a long long time. I know you and I have spoken about it before- and I feel the same about my relationship as well, but I give you big props for the conversation and decision you have made at this point and am behind you 100%. I love you to death and I am so excited for you to be in school and doing what you've longed to do as well. Please stay in touch (you know how to get me!!!), and I'll still say some prayers that you get peace and a miracle down the road.

That is a huge thing to be able to do...put it all "behind" you and move forward and be happy with where you guys are at. I hope if we ever get to the point of no more options I can accept it as well as you have. BUT like you said this is all until your done with school and then after your done I hope you get a little miracle.

I've been thinking about you and im glad you came back around, even if just for a quick update. You and Jackie have always been two women who I really look up to in all of this!

And I just wanted to add, this really makes me want to go home and give my husband a HUGE hug and kiss. I really cherish our relationship as you do yours, and we really do all we can to not stress and cause any tension between the two of us over the TTC issue, and I just want to hug him right now and tell him how much I love him.

[snsgirl336]

Ash- I am so sorry that I haven't been around too often and didn't see this until now. I just wanted to say that I admire you and Nathan and your strength to come to this decision. I know how long and hard your ttc journey has been and how emotionally draining it has been as well. I prayed that none of us would ever get to this point, but you seem at peace and content with your decision. You guys have always seemed like such a solid couple who is so deeply in love with each other while being the best of friends. I love reading about all your adventures on facebook and you always look so happy just being with your hubby!

I feel like you, Jackie and I are the lone rangers from ttc #1 from ages ago and I have felt a special bond with you both cause we've been through a whole lot of friends getting pregnant and moving on without us. I've always been so thankful for your support and friendship, and I hope you know that!

I've been praying for you guys for so long and I will obviously continue to do so- that you're happy, have good health and if it's in the stars a healthy baby one day!.You and Nathan deserve every happiness in the world and I hope that nothing but the best comes your way. And you better not become a stranger! I'll come find you if you do!!!

[~*Jackie*~]

Originally Posted by snsgirl336

I feel like you, Jackie and I are the lone rangers from ttc #1 from ages ago and I have felt a special bond with you both cause we've been through a whole lot of friends getting pregnant and moving on without us. I've always been so thankful for your support and friendship, and I hope you know that!

I couldn't agree more!! I'm so sad that the 3 of us are left behind, but so unbelievably thankful for the friendship I've gained. XOXOXO

[Christine-MA]

Ash I haven't even had any wine and you're making me cry. I you

[snsgirl336]

Originally Posted by ~*Jackie*~

I couldn't agree more!! I'm so sad that the 3 of us are left behind, but so unbelievably thankful for the friendship I've gained. XOXOXO

I love you girls and wouldn't be where I am without you!

[Ash]

Originally Posted by ♥Ashley♥

That is a huge thing to be able to
And I just wanted to add, this really makes me want to go home and give my husband a HUGE hug and kiss. I really cherish our relationship as you do yours, and we really do all we can to not stress and cause any tension between the two of us over the TTC issue, and I just want to hug him right now and tell him how much I love him.

I am glad that you feel this way, Ashley because it really is exactly how I feel. NOTHING is more precious to me than my relationship with Nathan and that's what makes all of this a little easier! I hope the two of you achieve all of your dreams.

Originally Posted by snsgirl336

Ash- I am so sorry that I haven't been around too often and didn't see this until now. I just wanted to say that I admire you and Nathan and your strength to come to this decision. I know how long and hard your ttc journey has been and how emotionally draining it has been as well. I prayed that none of us would ever get to this point, but you seem at peace and content with your decision. You guys have always seemed like such a solid couple who is so deeply in love with each other while being the best of friends. I love reading about all your adventures on facebook and you always look so happy just being with your hubby!

I feel like you, Jackie and I are the lone rangers from ttc #1 from ages ago and I have felt a special bond with you both cause we've been through a whole lot of friends getting pregnant and moving on without us. I've always been so thankful for your support and friendship, and I hope you know that!

I've been praying for you guys for so long and I will obviously continue to do so- that you're happy, have good health and if it's in the stars a healthy baby one day!.You and Nathan deserve every happiness in the world and I hope that nothing but the best comes your way. And you better not become a stranger! I'll come find you if you do!!!

Cris, Cris....what can I say to you but that you are the pillar of strength. I admire your persistence so much. Thank you for being happy for us, I truly appreciate that more than you know.

I also have always felt a very special bond with you and Jackie because we have been around so long. I feel like of everyone that I know you two know more than anyone EXACTLY how this feels. I love you to pieces and pray for you and Shawn all the time. I want nothing more than all of your dreams to come true.

[Ash]

Originally Posted by Christine-MA

Ash I haven't even had any wine and you're making me cry. I you

Christine, what can I say but that you are totally my twin in another state. Your support through this journey has been amazing and honestly I am not sure what I would do without you. I wish you were my neighbor. I would so love to share a bottle of good wine with you someday. I think we have to make that happen! I you too and I am so glad that we became friends. Thank you for everything....