[-hopeful-]

I got a bill from out fertility specialist today for 700 bucks and was totally shocked!!! We are supposed to get 10,000 from our insurance company for lifetime fertility benefits and they pay 90% we pay 10%. DH and I had all our testing done and 10% of that is NOT 700 bucks! I have to call in the am to find out what is going on. I don't mind paying it if this is what it takes to get me pregnant but DH is NOT happy about it. I told him IVF could cost almost $10,000 and advised him we may be paying out of pocket to have a child which I think is ridiculous that anyone should have to pay to have a child! We were planning on moving out of our condo but because we are having trouble getting pregnant on our own and may have to use the money we have saved as our down payment for our house to go to fertility bills! DH said if we have to do IVF he wants to wait and I'm flabbergasted!! I DO NOT WANT TO WAIT!!! I feel like were not on the same page at all in this moment in time. Baby is my number one priority. Of course I want to move, I DESPERATELY want to move but not more than I want to give him and myself a child. I don't know what to say to him other than we need to take it a day at a time and pray to get pregnant on our own. I can't believe we can't get pregnant on our own. Why us? Why all of us that are here on this board. Getting pregnant has seriously taken over my life. I don't understand why I can't just make it happen. DH just came in here and I totally broke down, again, seems all I'm doing lately is crying. He said we will weigh our options after we see the doctor. I know he doesn't want to deplete our savings we worked so hard to save for our house. We haven't even been trying for a year so I know he is reluctant.....

I just don't understand life right now....

[Sassy9679]

I definitely understand the taking over your life part. That is something that I am struggling with. And I am trying very very hard to not let it.

I have known several women (sister-in-law) who have had trouble, and then it becomes this crusade, and this mission to get pregnant. My SIL, specifically spent $50,000 on fertility, (this was about 8-10 years ago) and they still ended up adopting. And her husband, who was sort of on the fence about kids, really struggled with the money aspect of it, plus he was over 40, and was really okay if they couldn't have kids.

It really did a number on their marriage, and now they have 2 kids, and one of them is sort of challenging, and it is hard. I do think it is so important to stay on the same page with your spouse. You said it best, just take it day by day, cycle by cycle.

I know if we don't get pregnant this month, we are going to take some time off, because I don't feel like me stressing out about it, is helping. Good luck and try to have some fun!!!

[♥Ashley♥]

All of the testing (blood tests) we had done in January was $4000 and then the HSG and there are still quite a few tests that we didnt get done so I wouldnt rule out that $700 wasnt your 10%. Its incredibly frustrating how much these Dr's charge!! My HSG alone was over $1,000! So that puts our total bill for testing around $5000.

[wishfulgal]

It does really stink how expensive everything is! Our insurance is pretty good and covers all of the testing. It even covered DH's varicocele surgery, which would have been $10,000 without insurance. But it covers nothing towards IUI or IVF . If DH's post-op SA is not drastically improved, we are going to move forward with adoption b/c we just can't justify spending $10-15K for a chance at pregnancy.

[-hopeful-]

Thanks for all the support ladies! It feels to come on here and vent and have other ladies know exactly how you feel!! DH and I talked during dinner today and he said if we have to "pay" a lot to get pregnant he wants to move first because he would rather already be in a house then struggling at our condo (where were at now) trying to move out, with a baby and me not working as much. Which I TOTALLY understand. But DH also doesn't want to take a loss on our condo which is inevitable to me in this market. Who knows what will happen. I'm just going to keep praying that I will get pregnant on my own and can put this whole "fertility specialist" on the back burner. It seems crazy to me too to spend thousands of dollars on a "chance" at getting pregnant. Anyone want to rob a bank with me?

[snsgirl336]

I'd be in for a bank heist if I had the time! LOL. I'm really sorry that you're having a hard time with ttc and that your DH isn't necessarily on the same page right now.

I agree with Ashley about the $700 possibly being the 10%. I had to pay for part of my HSG (had to make the deductable) and that was about $600. Throw all the bloodwork and other tests on top of that, and it certainly adds up very quickly!

I hope that you and your DH can start to see eye to eye on everything. You both make very good points and I think you really should just sit down and really talk this out. My DH and I have had to have many talks to put ourselves on the same page and move forward.

Hang in there... ttc is a very stressful journey! Hopefully it will draw to an end very soon for us all!!!