[AlexBebe]

Well, today wasn't a good one.

Since AF showed up a few days ago, I've been just so low. The smallest things are triggering uncontro lable responses in me. Today DH and I had 30 minutes without Tait, so we thought we'd walk the mall and check out the new BBQ that we are thinking about buying. While in the store, we walked through the baby section - not intentionally, we were just following the pathway through the store. I completely broke down. Tears started streaming down my face. DH was a little caught off guard, and he wasn't sure what to say. He has been so optimistic through this whole thing. He came over to me, wiped the tears, and gave me a truly awesome hug. He said nothing - and didn't need to.
Early this morning while pouring my coffee in the staff room at work, a teacher came in and we started chatting about this journey of mine. I have recently lost 20 pounds, by eating healthy. She turned to me and said "Maybe this weight loss is having an effect on your fertility. Perhaps your not taking in enough minerals and vitamins?" A truly innocent remark - but I nearly bit her head off. It made me feel as though I were responsible for us not being pregnant.
So now I come to kick in the teeth number 3: A friend of mine has 3 beautiful children. Baby number 2 and 3 are twins. All of her babies were conceived through IVF. She and her DH were told that her DH's sperm was low, and had poor mobility. Her twins are now 8 months, and she called me today to tell me that she is preggo with #4 - unplanned. They only had sex once last month. She is pretty upset - they were quite happy with 3. So I have sex 100 times a month and no baby?????? AHHHHHHHHH.

Sorry to vent - it's just one of those crappy days early in my cycle. As much as I hate the 2ww, I am always in such an incredible mood. I'm eager to see my temp stay up every morning, I'm excited about every little possible symptom, I'm thrilled when I see the DPO's tick away, I get a rush from buying the tests........it's a pretty cool time for me. The beginning of my cycles suck. I know I'm not pregnant, and I know that I can't get pregnant for another 10 -14 days.

I hope all of you had a great day.
Food for thought - Most healthy couples take a minimum of 1 year to get pregnant. Every month we have a 25% chance of conceiving (and that number goes down if you're over 30).
I have to keep telling myself these facts.

[.erin.]

i'm sorry you feel so bad. ttc is frustrating! i hope you feel better soon. if you just need to chat you can pm me anytime.

[crowdreamer]

Geez, I know exactly what you mean. I hate the first half too, and waiting just so you can get another shot at it. I am always depressed the first few days of my cycle.

Look at it this way though--your friend had her turn having to wait, that's why she had to do IVF to begin with. Yet she ultimately got more than she even asked for, which is good news because it means it can and probably will happen for you too.

GL this cycle! Keep your chin up.

Sorry you're feeling down! I feel the same way sometimes. Hang in there!