What am I doing wrong?

stilltrying09 · #1 May 9th, 2011, 09:37 AM

I've been trying since November and no BFP. I've kept track of my periods and DTD days during ovulation. I've been drinking Fertilitea for the past couple months, taking Flax Seed oil everyday to increase my CM, I've only used my PreSeed once this past ovulation, but that can't be the reason why I didn't get pregnant.

Am I too old to conceive? Am I even ovulating anymore?

Is there anyone that has any more advice than I've already been given? I'm almost to the point where I have to accept that it's just not going to happen

.

Servilia · #2 May 9th, 2011, 10:45 AM

hi I'm sorry

How do you know when you're ovulating? Are you using OPKs to detect the LH surge? I know it sucks but they say it can take the average healthy couple up to a year to conceive. How old are you? Are your cycles regular? I use pre-seed too and I think it really helped.. I got pregnant twice but unfortunately miscarried both times.

stilltrying09 · #3 May 9th, 2011, 11:16 AM

I keep track of my ovulating by counting from the first day of my period to the 10th/11th day of when my ovulation week would begin. I've also used ovulation tests to track my LH surge.

I'm 37 and my cycles are regular. Pretty much every 28 days give or take 1 day off sometimes.

That one time I used preseed, I didn't squeeze the full instructed amount in. I think I only squeeze to the "2" line. I personally don't like the way it feels because it's very wet and slippery even with that little amount, but if it's going to help me conceive, I'll use it.

Servilia · #4 May 9th, 2011, 11:24 AM

Hi again. I agree that the full instructed amount of preseed is way too much. My DH can't feel anything with that much so it defeats the purpose. So I personally keep it to just the 0.5 or 1 line. Since you're over 35 and it's been 6 months maybe you should see a doctor? Usually they will provide treatment at this point (6 months for 35 and over, 1 year for under 35). I'm sorry this is difficult

stilltrying09 · #5 May 9th, 2011, 11:47 AM

I forgot to include "sorry for your MC's" in my last reply. I know how devastating MC's are. I've had multiple in the past with AB's and I'm wondering if my high risks in the past made my cervix weak or if I'm just at that age.

I'm going to try the preseed every time we DTD next week. I've brought the being hard to conceive up to my doctor before and I got the response, "Well you're obviously able to conceive". This was after my last mc which was last Nov.

My pregnancies just never seem to stick. Low estrogen?

kbpeanut · #6 May 9th, 2011, 06:21 PM

**lurking** but felt like I should post!

I'm 36 and DH and I started TTC our first in Nov 2008. We just stuck with all natural methods (i.e. we had no medical assistance). DH got a S/A early on, and that was normal. I was ovulating very regularly (noted by temps and OPKs). Other than that, we just DTD when we were supposed to for the most part.

On Apr 20, I got my first ever BFP. It took 2 1/2 years, but it happened! Please don't think it's not meant to be for you. Since you are also of AMA (advanced maternal age), perhaps seek the advice of a fertility center to see if there is something else going on?

Sending all kinds of good thoughts your way!

Servilia · #7 May 10th, 2011, 07:59 AM

uggh I'm sorry your doctor brushed you off like that. I would go back and ask for a referral to an RE, if that is possible for you. A regular doctor doesn't know much about this stuff.
Also, just the fact that you can conceive doesn't mean everything is ok, if you keep having miscarriages (like me). In my case my RE acknowledged that I can conceive but tested me for all the possible reasons I could have had those miscarriages. At your age, if you've had two miscarriages in a row, it is reason enough for testing/treatment.
As for your question about estrogen, it's not really a reason for miscarriages in itself. I'm just going off the top of my head here so I might leave something out, but reasons for miscarriage are:
- chromosomal - the egg's or sperm's chromosomes are bad quality, didn't divide properly, etc. Or once conception occurred the chromosomes didn't join up properly. This is the most common.
- clotting - this can be caused by autoimmune issues that cause your blood to clot up too much and causes problems that lead to miscarriage
- physiological - something about the shape of your uterus, or possible fibroids
- hormonal - not enough progesterone (though there is controversy about whether this is an underlying cause or if it's a result of a non viable embryo), or hormonal imbalances, for example hypo or hyperthyroid (I have thyroid issues)
- environmental causes - hazardous chemicals, smoking etc
I'm sure there are more but that's all I can think of now (haven't finished my coffee yet)
Here is a good post on causes - it's quite scientific though: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...carriages.html (Causes of Miscarriages)

I would recommend pushing the issue with the doctor and asking for a referral to an RE (reproductive endocronologist). A regular GP is not going to be of much help.
Sweetie I'm really sorry for your losses and hope you get a sticky BFP soon. (((HUGS)))

stilltrying09 · #8 May 10th, 2011, 09:07 AM

Thank you "Kbpeanut". I don't wanna give up hope yet, but I get discouraged when I see how easy it is for others to get pregnant and it's such an effort for me. When people tell me to just relax and let it happen, it annoys me because how can I relax when month after month, my period shows up.

Hi Servilia! That's interesting info to know about mc's. I probably should've seen an RE back in 1999 when I was with my ex. I was pregnant 4 times with him. The first two pregnancies were back to back mc's. The third pregnancy was thought to be another mc, but my hcg level wasn't going down fast enough. I was referred to another ob/gyn doctor and he found that I had an ectopic pregnancy that was still growing. My fourth pregnancy was fine...I had a boy.

I'm embarassed to say I've been pregnant a few times after that and they've been combos of mc's and ab's. Now that I'm with the person I want to be with the rest of my life, it's like pulling teeth ttc.

I was always told there's no reason for mc's. It just means it wasn't meant to be. Knowing what you've told me, I wanna kick every person that told me that.

Servilia · #9 May 10th, 2011, 09:44 AM

You're welcome! I wanna kick those people who told you that too! HOnestly though most people don't know a whole lot about this stuff so they just say the first thing that comes to their mind.

stilltrying09 · #10 May 10th, 2011, 12:14 PM

Those are the people that have no problem conceiving. All the females in my family have no problem conceiving. I'm very healthy, I never get sick, I exercise...I do everything right to keep in shape and in good health, but yet I can't get pregnant easily.

My sister in law had her first baby. She was on the pill for years and once she decided to stop taking bc, she was pregnant within 1 month.

I've looked up best positions, done the towel under the hips thing, not getting up right after DTD. Maybe DH has slow swimmers or not strong enough swimmers because I never notice any leakage.

SavaAngel · #11 May 15th, 2011, 07:56 PM

I am young (was 26 when I started trying for my daughter), had previously gotten pregnant way too easily (like your SIL), was of the same health, weight, etc as when I conceived my first and it took us 2 yrs and 2 months (28 cycles) to get pregnant with my daughter. At 8 months I looked for help (if your regular doctor won't help, find a new one).

In 2 yrs, I had every test done my OB could run. No problems found other than I have mild PCOS. We had given up and were going to turn to IUI the following summer when it happened.

My advice is.....1) find a sympathetic doctor. 2) CHART! Don't just count 11 days (or whatever it was you said you did), not everyone ovulates at the same time of the month. That is why people who call charting the calendar or rhythm method and end up getting pregnant when trying to avoid. Check into NFP or FAM to conceive (there is a JM board) For me it ranged between day 14 and 18 for me to ovulate. 3) OPK's - follow the directions and use them religiously 4) Don't DTD everyday. Even a man who has great swimmers needs to build up his supply for the best chance. I recommend every other day, day of and up to 2-3 days after. 5) RESEARCH - do your TTC homework and look up all the tests and come armed with them and your charts to your doctors appts. 6) relax - I will be the first to admit that it is hard to do and you want to strangle me, but it works.

Good Luck! I now chart to avoid since having my daughter 5 months ago. Fee; free to PM me if you want.

stilltrying09 · #12 May 16th, 2011, 09:53 AM

Thank you SavaAngel. Today is CD11 and we DTD last night. I've always kept track of when we DTD during my ovulation week. Is that what you mean by charting?

Every time I've used OPK's, my surge was usually always on CD14, but I may be ovutlating late and we're not DTD any more after CD14.

I will try again this week and if I don't get a BFP next month, I will talk to my doctor about tests.

Servilia · #13 May 16th, 2011, 01:09 PM

If you're getting a surge on CD14 you should definitely be continuing to have sex after CD14 too! The positive OPK means you will ovulate within 12-48 hours from that positive - ie it can be 2 days later. You don't have any guarantee the sperm will last that long so I suggest when you have a positive OPK you DTD that day and the day after too, and maybe even the third day. If you're stopping the day of your surge you're not helping things. Good luck!

stilltrying09 · #14 May 16th, 2011, 01:35 PM

According to the OPK tests I've taken, the lines are equal on CD12 or CD13.

When I was MC'd last October, we DTD on CD's 10 & 15 and that was it. I had a BFP on 10/26 and MC'd on 10/29

.

Maybe I do ovulate late...nonetheless, I'd like to just cover my bases and DTD every day for the rest of this week. That can't be overdoing it, right?

SavaAngel · #15 May 18th, 2011, 08:42 PM

DTD too often can backfire on you. You will get tired. You loose the spontaneity (okay - that is what happened to us after over a year). Also, your husbands sperm won't have built up very much. And if your DH has lower numbers at all it will hurt you even more. I highly suggest every other day. If you DTD multiple days in a row it should be when you get your line on your OPK and then at LEAST the two days following. Sperm CAN live in your body under the right conditions for up to 5 days, but you might not have the perfect conditions, kwim?

stilltrying09 · #16 May 19th, 2011, 11:52 AM

So we DTD CD10, 12, and 13. Today is CD14 and I'm supposed to ovulate tomorrow. I'm thinking rest tonight and DTD again tomorrow or Saturday?

SavaAngel · #17 May 19th, 2011, 10:41 PM

If you are sure you will O tomorrow, I would DTD tomorrow (FRI) and Saturday. Maybe even Sunday! Good Luck!

ChristinaR · #18 May 23rd, 2011, 11:08 AM

Hi, I was lurking over here too. I just wanted to say you've been given great advice. It there is one thing I can add/stress more, it is Fertility charting.

Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting

Take a tour of the website, there is a wealth of information on there.

DH and I tried for 15 months before succescully concieving my son. My cycles are the same as yours and I had every test run. I couldn't understand why it wasn't working. I concieved my son on the second cycle using fertility friend. I used hundreds of OPK's and they never predicted my correct LH surge for some reason. Just a simple thing as taking your temperture every morning at the same time worked for me. I was able to pin point my ovulation much better.

Another tip that helped me. We had sex before bed and I didn't get up afterward at all I put the tv on and just fell right to sleep. I gave those little swimmers all the time they needed to swim with out gravity working against them.

I hope you get your BFP soon, good luck!!!

Servilia · #19 May 23rd, 2011, 01:41 PM

Charting is a great tool, but it will only pinpoint your O day (plus/minus a day) AFTER you've ovulated, so it won't predict when you're going to O. I use it to see how many DPO and to confirm ovulation so I can stop BDing so often lol (I LOVE BD but DH works a lot so I need to know when to give him a break lol)
Good luck

MyFuss · #20 May 27th, 2011, 09:37 PM

Charting is great. I learned so much...At Fertilityfriend or Fertilitygal.
you will be amazed how much your body is telling you that you dont realize. Also, not for the faint of hearts but check out My Beautiful cervix website (NO NOT MINE..LOL) just the name of the site and I learned so much about fertility about knowing the positions of the cervix. Good luck. Keep the faith.