[mommywannabe]

Well, I just got back to the office. The dr. was super nice and listened to everything and answered all of my questions even though I forgot half of them. After going through everything and doing my exam she said she wants to send me for an HSG. For those of you that don't know what that is.....it is where the dr. shoots dye into your uterus and tubes and does a real time x-ray to see if there is any kind of blockage or something in your tubes or uterus that could prevent you from getting pregnant. She also ordered an ultrasound for me and a seamen analysis on DH. She said that almost all insurances pay for those things but I need to call just to make sure. After that I will come back to her office and she will go over the results with me and we will talk about what to do next. She said that if the tests came back fine...and she was 99% sure they would...then she would diagnose me as having Unexplained Infertility and she would start me on Clomid. If after 4-6 months of Clomid, I am not pregnant yet, then she said it becomes a matter of how much money we are willing to spend. She said we could do Intra-Uteran Insemination which would run us around $700. And then after that we could discuss other options.

DH didnt go back with me. The way the office was set up was really odd so when the nurse took me back he thought she was going to do the exam right then but she ended up just talking to me for the first half hour. So I just let him sit in the waiting room, he was kind of nervous too I think. She gave me all kinds of printouts so it was easy to tell him exactly what she said. When we left there I told him everything and he said he was sorry. At first he said "Well I dont understand why you are so upset, she didnt say you couldnt get pregnant" I just about lost it! I said "NO she didnt say that, but she did say that she thinks I have Unexplained Infertility which means she doesnt KNOW why I cant get pregnant, and YES I COULD get pregnant without fertility treatments but it could be TEN YEARS from now!!!!!! And besides that, if we dont do anything at all about it, we only have a 1-2% chance each MONTH that I will even GET pregnant!!!" After that I think he realized how upsetting the word "infertile"was to me. Then he said, very sheepishly "Maybe it's me?" I just shook my head and said "No, she doesnt think its you, you have Shelby, and if its not you then that means it ME and I am the reason we cant get pregnant" He felt aweful, I could tell by how his voice changed and he got kinda quiet.

I am feeling a ton of emotions now. I know that it might not seem like much to alot of you, and others have BTDT and have babies. But.....to me, the be labeled Infertile.....I dont know how to process this. DH was right, she didnt say NEVER and she didnt say I "couldnt" have a baby..........but she did say Infertility and that scares me to death. Yeah, I can still get pregnant. But the chances of that ever happening without infertility treatments are low.

Ok, I am done now. I'm sorry to bring you guys down. I am thrilled she didnt see anything wrong and thankful for that. BUT, unexplained means they dont know why and if they dont know how are they supposed to fix it? DH said that we will try everything that we can afford and if it gets as far as the Inra-Uteran Insemination and that doesnt work then we could start looking into adoption because we may not be able to afford much more past that. I am just gonna keep praying that we wont have to go that far. But at least I know that no matter what, DH will make sure we have a baby because of how badly he wants it and how much it means to me. He just called as I was typing that last paragraph and said that he just wanted to say that he loves me. He said he is sorry for what the Dr. told me but that he is here for me and he will do whatever he needs to do to make things work out.

Back to work I go I guess.
Thank you all for reading all of that. I'm sorry again for bringing you down.



Casey

[Blue Eyes 409]

Well I hope that you get some answers. I got my fingers crossed for you that the Clomid will work and you will not have to go threw a bunch of other stuff.

We are here if you need to talk or vent!

I truly hope Clomid works for you. Your doctor and husband sound supportive, you are very lucky to have them. We are all here for you.

[rollopodio]

i hope you get answers. i just had those tests done. actually hsg was yesterday and i need to make an appt to go in and talk about the results. it is good that you have a good doctor though.