[mommywannabe]

So, as most of you know, I have been having a pretty crappy couple of days.

Tuesday-Dr. appt. She told me she wanted me to have some tests done and used the dreaded "I" word....told me my chances of concieving on my own if the tests came back ok were 1-2% a month and gave me loads of info on the tests and the "I" word

Yesterday-I woke up in a great mood and ready to start a new day and ready to fight....then....Talked to insurance and they wont pay a dime for any tests or anything at all for that matter. Everything has to come out of pocket and after talking to the dr. and finding out how much Clomid is, I had a mini-meltdown.

Today-After having a WONDERFUL night with DH and him spoiling me and making me feel so confident about everything, I was waiting for a phone call from the dr. office nurse like I was told I would get "first thing in the morning" and finally right before lunch I called and left a message. Then I called again and learned that the nurse AND dr. are on vacation today, tomorrow and the next 2 weeks. So I called the hospital, the lab, the radiology department and some other place to get the prices of all the tests and STILL am not confident I got the right prices......then I talked to insurance twice and was on hold with the provider line for almost 20 minutes!!! I dont know how much more I can take right now.

For the past two days I have woke up feeling great, ready to take on the world and ready to start the ball rolling on the testing and treatment.......and then BAM the ball gets dropped right on me. Cant just ONE thing go right? JUST ONE THING??? Cant something just be SIMPLE?!?!? CANT JUST ONE FRIGGIN THING BE EASY?!!?!?!?!?! We are willing to pay for this testing ourselves, but because it is coming out of pocket I have to know exactly how much it will cost so that I know when I can reschedule it all for. Why cant just ONE PERSON be polite??? Why do they have to seem like I am asking such an impossible task of them when it is THEIR JOB?!?!? I just dont understand!!!




Im sorry. How much of a crazy woman do I seem like to all of you over this past week??? One post I am happy, the next I am pissed, the next I am sad, then happy, now upset again..........What is wrong with me!??!?!?!?!!?!? I just dont know how much of this I can handle! And I havent even gotten to the fertility tests or anything yet.........WHAT WILL I BE LIKE THEN?!?!?!? Ugh.........

Ok, so I had made a promise to myself that I was going to eat better and exercise more because at the drs. office I saw that I had gained a couple pounds lately. I was doing so well.........and now in front of me sits a half eaten Butterfinger Crunch bar and a can of coke................

ETA: the candy bar was gone before this was even posted.......


casey