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Hey ladies I apologize in advance for the following rant, just need to vent to those who I know understand...
So I kind of disappeared from the TTC forum after my positive OPK, hoping to return with good news, but sure enough, AF showed up right on schedule (exactly 2 days after breasts stopped being sore). DH & I are videographers & were on a 3 wedding weekend, driving from ceremony to reception in traffic on Sunday when the dreaded cramps began & I knew I was out. So upset, started crying while driving. He thinks my obsessing/stressing is preventing our BFP It's hard not to be stressed when TTC 6+ months in the middle of wedding season, plus I'll be 34 next week WITH Endometriosis & irregular AF!!! Now DH & my mom keep suggesting adoption which is so frustrating...I would adopt if I had to, but I don't want to give up yet!!! My mom keeps saying Clomid too, which she used to have me, but I really don't want to do that either! I'm fed up with the waiting & attempted charting...my schedule is too crazy for temping, & I OPK test twice a day, & get all stressed with the timing & holding my pee for 3-4 hours without drinking much. I don't even know if my positive OPK was accurate last time, because I went over 2 weeks after to get AF. We BD'd every other day from 2 days before the OPK until AF arrived. I feel like just forgetting about charting this cycle (on CD5 now). DH wants me to OPK test at least. We're shooting a wedding this weekend with a photographer couple who are due in December, & I just don't even want to face it. Of course I'm happy for them, but I'm beginning to feel like I'll never get my BFP, like I can't. Now that it's been 6 months, I'm supposed to have an ultrasound to check my potential Endometriosis return, & the Drs office is closed from the hurricane.
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I'm terribly sorry that you are going through this struggle for a BFP. I always hate to hear about one of my fellow TTCers having issues in the TTC department. I know that it is so frustrating b/c out of all of the things that we can or cannot do in life having a baby is supposed to be on the able to do list. Whether we are blessed w/ all the talent in the world, are one of the beautiful people, or whatever other advantage we may or may not have in this world it is not supposed to matter, right?
It is hard waiting for that BFP when you are doing everything in your power to get there. Sometimes we do need a little help in the babymaking department from doctors, from faith, and sometimes from adoption. You will get there someday. Smile through the pain, and cry when you need to. Crying is good for you.