Crying and crying here at work

#1 September 18th, 2006, 10:19 AM

I can hardly contain myself. I called the doctor's office to find out who does the HSG. A male doctor is doing in because my regular female doctor can't (because she's pregnant). I can't stop crying. I can't have this done by a man! This is due to a trauma I had. As much as I want it done with all my heart, I can't do it. They said the next opening for one with a female doctor isn't for months. I'm praying nobody walks into the office right now, I can't stop crying. Everything with TTC seems to be catching up to me now, I am feeling beyond sad right now.

tootienkyle · #2 September 18th, 2006, 10:44 AM

Could you go somewhere else??? I mean, if you want to have it done by a woman, I'm sure there is someone..maybe not connected with your doctor's office that can do it??? I'm so sorry...I know how you feel..I sooo totally felt that way when my OB was out of the country when I went into labor with my son. I didn't have a choice, I was in labor. But at least you do have the choice..and if you aren't comfortable with a man doing it, check into someone else doing it. How many months would it take for a woman to do it in that office? That is ridiculous. The office I chose for the birth of my 4th child had more than one woman in the office, so that was a little extra "security" for me. I'm so sorry you are at work and feeling like this. I know how much you want it done...try to calm down and maybe there is a way around it all...???

#3 September 18th, 2006, 11:35 AM

Thanks, I'm going to try and do it elsewhere, I think. My husband is supportive but my mom really upset me by what she said when I told her why I have to cancel the test. She was very unsupportive. I'll have to call and find out if I can go elsewhere and have it done, good idea. I'm feeling calmer now, thanks.

iamkc · #4 September 18th, 2006, 11:36 AM

I agree--it seems like there should be someone else SOMEWHERE for you to have this done! Maybe not tomorrow, but sooner than MONTHS! Is there another office that yours might recommend? How about a clinic? It seems like this is something they should have told you sooner, too...

I'm so sorry that this didn't go the way it was supposed to. TTC is already so difficult without throwing in trials like these. I really would encourage you to call around today, though. It might make you feel better to know that something is in the works, instead of having to wait for months to have this done.

(((((HUGS))))) to you.

tootienkyle · #5 September 18th, 2006, 11:39 AM

I'm sorry that your mom was unsupportive of you, that is sad. Some people just don't understand though. Alot of people think I am funny because I only want a woman doctor, but I don't really care...just as I think they are funny for not wanting a woman doctor..that's what makes this world go around..we are all different! I hope you can get in somewhere else to do it! I support you and I know all of the other women here do also..and I'm so glad to hear that your hubby does also..that means alot! Let us know if you get in somewhere else! Good luck on your quest to find someone else.

iamkc · #6 September 18th, 2006, 12:30 PM

Pbbtt. I replied to your post as you were replying to it.

Glad you're looking elsewhere. Sorry about your mom, though. But it's your TTC journey and your husband's. What you two and you two alone decide--THAT'S the right decision. Good for you for sticking with what makes you comfortable.

Here's hoping that you find a wonderful female doc!

#7 September 18th, 2006, 02:19 PM

Well, I called the doctor's office again and asked when exactly the other female doctor who is in the practice (besides mine) can do the procedure. They said next cycle. They also said I have to get it done at their practice because I'm part of it. So, I have a choice: get it done this Friday with the male doctor or wait until next cycle (if there is a next cycle) and get it done then by a woman dr. I don't know what to do. I haven't officially canceled the appointment for Friday yet, so I could still go if I wanted to. It's just a phobia I have, I have a phobia of a man examining me in that area. Whenever I try visualizing the procedure being done by a man in my mind, I start crying and almost vomit. My mom said, "I guess you don't really want a baby after all then!" I know it's only ten minutes or so, but I don't want to show up and then not be able to go through with it but still have to pay! Plus, this man is a trained doctor, not some pervert, I know that. But I can't help how I feel! What to do???

tootienkyle · #8 September 18th, 2006, 03:01 PM

If the woman doctor can do it next cycle..I would just wait. It is only one month...which I know seems like an eternity to us TTC'ers...but if ya wanna look at the good in only one month...look at my situation...the doctor said wait 4 months! ugh... If you are that "fearful" of it, I would wait the month and be much more comfortable..it's already an uncomfortable test and situation...I think it would go better if you weren't all tensed up about that part of it..there is enough to be tensed about with just the testing alone...you do what you feel is right FOR YOU!

diznynurse · #9 September 18th, 2006, 04:05 PM

((((hugs)))) I'm sorry this is turning out to be so traumatic for you. If DH could be in there with you and hold your hand would that help? If not then u should wait till next cycle. Let's pray you'll get your bfp then u won't have to worry about it!!!!!!!!

Has ur dh had an S/A done???? Maybe u could have that done in the mean time.

Good LUck hun!

Blue Eyes 409 · #10 September 18th, 2006, 04:51 PM

My DR is a man Dr and I just love him. If you don't want a man to do it then just wait till next month but if you decide to do it this month the man DR is never in the room alone with you. I understand you wanting to wait one more cycle is not to long to wait.

#11 September 18th, 2006, 05:18 PM

Thank you all so much! I'm feeling much better. I have until Thursday morning to decide if I need to cancel it. At this point, I'm keeping the appointment and mulling things over. I'm trying to get comfortable with the idea. Yes, DH had the S/A done a couple months ago and the results were all normal for everything.

Tamaralynnb · #12 September 18th, 2006, 08:15 PM

oh wow i'm so sorry. i know how it feels i've never had that test done but my first ever Gyno visit was done by a man and i thought he was aweful. i try to see a woman now but when i had my son my doctor wasn't available and so when they had to do checks down there i had my husband beside me holding my hand and distracting me it really helped. Can your husband go with you and be in the room with you?