Starting To Have Doubts

Jessesgirl04 · #1 November 28th, 2006, 10:11 AM

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm having serious doubts that we will get pregnant again. Everyone around me keeps saying "It will happen" blah, blah, blah, but I just don't know anymore

I'm almost afraid to keep trying because I hate putting myself through this month after month. Last night DH wanted to bd since AF is gone already, and I just started making excuses that I was still spotting. The thought of bding again this cycle is not looking fun to me. It's so sad that I don't even like bding with my own husband anymore because it feels like a household chore or something. He kept saying "It's time to start trying to make a baby again" and I just stared blankly at the tv and told him I didn't feel good. I want a baby soooo badly, but I just can't take the dissapointment of having AF show up and having to start all over. I know we haven't been ttc all that long but as each month goes by, I get closer and closer to that one year mark. We started ttc back in March of 06 so we're already been ttc for over 8 months. I am absolutely addicted to JM, but sometimes I think it's not healthy for me to be on the boards. I get sort of irritated by women who get pregnant on the first month or two. It's not their fault that they don't have fertility problems and I should be happy for them but secretly I'm not. I know that sounds awful, but I can't help it. I just feel very selfish right now and I am not normally like this

Kole'sMom · #2 November 28th, 2006, 10:56 AM

I have been ttc since Sept 05 so I can relate. It sounds like you maybe should take a ttc break. Sometimes a break is just what you need. I did that and it was SO good for me. Then when I ttc again I felt so good about it. Good luck.

milo · #3 November 28th, 2006, 11:56 AM

I know how you feel I started in March and have had a bad time lately, maybe taking a break for a bit might do the trick. I hope you get a BFP soon.

butterflyjmb · #4 November 28th, 2006, 01:08 PM

<div align="center"><span style="font-family:Arial Black">I have been trying since June 06, and even though I just finished my 6th cycle, I feel like I will never get pregnant. I completely understand what you are going through. Although I am excited for all of my gf's BFPs I want mine, too! It looks like you guys have had babies, so at least you know that you can get pregnant. I don't even have that. All I can do is try to stay positive. Good luck to you! I hope you get your soon!</span></div>

#5 November 28th, 2006, 05:17 PM

(((hugs))) I feel much like you do...we've been TTC our first for over a year now. I have always wanted three children and the more time that goes by, the more worried I get that I will never even have one. I'm almost thirty now and regretting all the time I spent in college, grad school, traveling, building up my career....like I wasted my most fertile years. Well, I hope you get your BFP soon. Try taking a break for a cycle or two or more and see what happens.

stowers2k3 · #6 November 29th, 2006, 07:53 AM

Quote:

(((hugs))) I feel much like you do...we've been TTC our first for over a year now. I have always wanted three children and the more time that goes by, the more worried I get that I will never even have one. I'm almost thirty now and regretting all the time I spent in college, grad school, traveling, building up my career....like I wasted my most fertile years. Well, I hope you get your BFP soon. Try taking a break for a cycle or two or more and see what happens.[/b]

Hey, don't worry about "wasn't your fertile years". This should be my fertile years and come to find out I don't ovulate most months. So all those years we tried to prevent and there was no need

Sometimes I think the addiction to JM makes it worse. I try to get away from here a couple of days a month, but that's hard!

It does seem like everyone else around me is getting pg but us! What gives?
I just know we'll all be getting our BFPs soon! Actually at church we have a special prayer box where you can write down a prayer you would like the church family to pray about "secretly". Last week I put one in that all the ladies at JM would get there BFPs real soon

. My church has got to think I am crazy, but we got a WHOLE church praying for us all!

PrettyMommy · #7 November 29th, 2006, 12:15 PM

I feel the same exact way. I started to feel it around the 8 month mark of us trying also. It's now at the 13th month going into the 14th month and I am so depressed. I saw on here that one of the women got a BFP on her first month of trying. I was jealous also. It gets so hard to try month after month like this. I go into each month now with little or no hope. I automatically assume it didnt happen that way when AF shows I won't be too disappointed. I still am though. It's mentally and emotionally draining. DH and I have stopped trying to schedule BDing. We know arounf when ovulation is, it's usually the same each month give or take a day. So we make sure we BD during that week but at first we kept trying to do every other day and try to build up his sperm for three days before ovulation but that didn't work and it started to feel so mechanical. I hated it so I just told him I wanted to stop timing sex with a darn pencil and chart. I have wanted to give up on trying so many times in the last couple of months but it hurts DH feelings because he still has so much hope it will happen for us. I hate to let him down and want to give up but it's hard on me emotionally.

dzine21 · #8 November 30th, 2006, 02:31 PM

I'm joining in here...I've given up. I guess I must be on a "break." I dropped everything I could. I think I have to chart though because now I never know when I am Oing. It's a guessing game. Some days I wonder why I'm even here. I don't care right now about trying and the worst thing is I haven't talked to dh about it.

Blue Eyes 409 · #9 November 30th, 2006, 05:15 PM

I know what you mean there were a lot of months that BD just felt like a job and not something we were doing because we wanted to. I had told my DR that I was going to give up because I was so tired of the BFP's every month and he said well I was going to give you Clomid this month and I said well lets give it a little longer. I think that we all go threw this and it is so hard. People that have not had a problem in TTC do not know what it is like. We are here for you!

Shaybear99 · #10 November 30th, 2006, 10:58 PM

Hey,
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, I'm in the same boat with you. We also started ttcing in March and every month when just one line shows up again (or af hits before I can get to the dollar store for MORE tests!!!

) I just get so bummed out. Hang in there girl, your turn will come.

Baby blessings,
Sharon

konnah · #11 November 30th, 2006, 11:54 PM

I also know how you feel. My DH and I have been ttc for what feels like forever. Between my irregular cycles, not O'ing, and his motility problems it seems like it will never happen for us. And what makes matters worse out of all our friends we are the only ones who have not conceived and I know i should be happy for them, but everytime one of them tells me that they are pregnant again I find myself feeling angry. I also hate when AF comes around because in my mind its just one more month I have to live without conceiving our miracle child. Anyways enough of my whinning, just need to vent sometimes I guess. Good luck to you and if u need to talk, I'll always listen. I suppose women like us need to stick together!!