[~Sandy~]

Well I have been holding this in for a loong loong time....I am sure some of you noticed a major drop-off of my time here and that i joined the ttc 6 months plus board and then poof disapeared...... see someone made a post that was complaining about ttc for soo long.....were talking lke 3 months i think....im not going to start drama so no details or anything, but lets just say the post ended with this

"OMG What if I become a Sandymal"

Am I some sort of terrible anti-pregnancy voodoo thing??? Does anyone actually worry that they will end up like me.....

And most importantly what is wrong with me? i am on day 4 of AF .... April is coming fast and when it gets here and /i still dont have my bfp, the doc says IUI.....

I have thought long and hard on it, and I know that we can't do IUI... Brian would never be into it at all.....you should have seen what we had to do just for the s/a in our own living room.....how hard and humiliating it was for him to do it in a cup..... To ask him to do it in a cup in a doc's office....well that would never happen successfully I don't think.... I don't even want to ask him to do it....

I just don't understand, I am so broke inside, and jeez i got pregnant with James on the depo and here I am almost 2 years into ttc and cant do it while actually trying.....I totally fell for these great false positives this past cycle and "I" know better.....

But I have also become what people do not want to be.... a "sandymal" , just what exactly is a "sandymal" ..........

I am just down I guess and I really needed to get that out......The comment hurt me, obviously...... and it's compounded with my sheer stupidity at beleiving these stupid old frer tests knowing darn well it is too good to be true....i wonder at what point i will actually believe that it can happen for me...and when/if it does ill prob stare at the test and say no way, cant be true, not me.....not "sandymal" .........

[dinamommy]

Aw,....I can't tell you how sad your post made me! I can't believe that someone would be so mean to post something like that. It tears me up inside to think that people can be so mean and unthoughtful. I'm so sorry you have been through so much. I'm sure you probably don't even know who I am, but I've been around the TTC boards for over 6 months and I highly respect every post I read of yours. I know you are very knowledgeable about all this and have helped many many women. I hope that in the future people will think before they type-----put themselves in someone else's shoes and realize that we aren't imaginary people on the internet. We are real people with real emotions.

[Gina1978]

I wondered where you were!...I cant beleive someone would say something like that,I can only imagine how it made you feel! I dont know why anyone would do such a thing
Sandy,you are a wonderful person and so many of us look up to you! I am one of those people! I often find my self looking for your posts or hoping you will awnser mine and Im sure others do too.You have helped so many people.
You are certainly not an "anti-pregnancy thing"..dont you dare think that about your self! If the reason you have been MIA is because someone had the "bright" idea to reffere to you as a "sandymal" as if you were a "thing" and not a person,then you can come right back and start posting again because no one else thinks about you in that way.
Unfortunately,your TTC journey is being a long and bumpy one,you have been though so much! Yet here you are,never being negative or complaining and always helping others..So for someone to take that pain and use it to refere to their own problems is just mean,and Im sure anyone else who saw that post will have thought the same.If anything,you should be admired for your strength and your ability to stay optimistic and help others do the same..
Im sorry you had to see that,but please dont hide away from those of us that truly apreciate you just because someone made a stupid remark
Come back!

[dzine21]

OMG, I hope I never made a stupid remark like that! I'm so sorry Sandy! I find you one of the most inspiring ladies I've met here. You're a great friend and I know I can be a little strange and cumbersome at times. I've truely missed you since you left the charting board. You've become a speck here and we want you to be more. I always look around hoping you've posted somewhere. It makes me sad, this whole situation. I'm sorry...

[lizm75]

Sandy, I'm so sad that is why you haven't been around. I really think I would cry if I weren't sitting at work. That is an awful and insensitive thing for somebody to say. I admire your strength to keep trying. I am starting my 9th month of trying and am giving up charting and BDing on purpose. I wish I had your perserverance to keep trying, but I am far too weak. I honestly wish I could choke whoever said that, who does that... You are so helpful and kind to everyone. You do not deserve to be alienated like that.

I want to send you big huge

Feel better sweetie.

[Jessesgirl04]

(((Hugs))) Wow! People definitely need to think before they type! I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt. I would be upset if someone said that about me too. I totally understand your frustration even though we haven't been ttc as long. I am starting to feel like it's never going to happen. I don't even really post anymore because I just feel silly posting the same things month after month. I hope you will stick around on the board.

Honey if your a weirdo I'm a freak.. I've been trying for 2.5 years. I am so sorry somebody would be the heartless to say something like that to you. Nobody really truely understands a struggle into they've walked a MILE in OUR shoes. So snub your nose to them and when YOU GET your BFP SMILE and GRIN bc they will probably still be trying! Karma has a way of turning its head on ppl like that.