[~Sandy~]

Well hey guys, I know I keep leaving for a while and coming back, I am playing world of warcraft and while it is very addicting it also helps me "get away" kwim. I had my first appointment with a new R.E. yesterday and I am completely flabbergasted at the news I got and I figured I would come and update you all.

Apparently when I had my son James my water broke about 4-5 days before I actually gave birth and an infection formed in my uterus that went unidentified. This infection is waht caused me to bleed for 6 months following James's birth and it did irrepairable damage to my tubes. Hence the ectopic pregnancy. The new R.E. actually thinks that all the miscarriages I have had were in fact self-resolving ectopice pregnancies. He says from the reports from my surgeries as well as the pictures that were taken during my laporoscopy's it seems unlikely that an egg could ever make it totally through my tubes and into my uterus. He said and infection like I most likely had causes lumps, grooves and scar tissue/hardening of the tubes as well as the cilia (sp?) to stop functioning (cilia move the egg along throught to the uterus like lil fingers).

So my ONLY option is IVF. BUT before that whether I do IVF or not they are going to be doing some testing to rule out any other factors that will prevent me from carrying, as well as a sono-something to see the shape and if I have fibroids or something like that. Then I will have another laproscopy to remove both tubes completely. The right one had the ectopic and that one is blocked and can fill with fluid, the left one (the one that showed clear of the hsg) is in fact not blocked but it is deformed and non-patent due to this infection. (of course the final diagnosis will come form the lap) If the left tube is repairable they will attempt it, but they doubt that severely.

Basically I will be having a surgery soon to remove both of my fallopian tubes. I am getting fixed I guess and then it will be up to me and Brian whether we move on to IVF or whether we end our journey here. The tubes must be removed because the risk of an ectopic pregnancy is about 98% every time I get pregnant due to the damage to my tubes. I thought I would come and update everyone since a couple of you gals have contacted me wanting to know why I Am not charting lol...the super charter HAHA....Well I wont be doing that anymore lol no need to right now kwim.

So I am going to try to stick around, but me and Brian have some talking to do and decision making, I of course am 100% for IVF but like I said before he has some "issues" ejaculating on command and I think he will be the only thing to hold it back but I am going to work on him LOL. Of course I have to have all this testing and surgery first as well so I will try to update as I Can.

I hope I can come back to you guys and that you will forgive me my momentary "vacations" to my video game or whatever It really does help me to get away from my thoughts lol...

Well I hav to pick up James from school so Ill check back in about an hour Luv Ya guys

[stowers2k3]

I'm so glad to get an update from you! I've been thinking about you a ton! I totally can understand your "vacations" - I've been taking them as well. I hope your talks with your hubby go well!!!
I want to see you get a BFP SO BADLY!!!! Good luck chica!

[diznynurse]

I peeked at this board on the right day! Thanks for the update, I'm sorry about the news. I really hope you can talk Brian into doing IVF after all you've been through I really want to see you have that miracle baby. You so deserve it. Keep in touch, PM me anytime and you have my email address.

[dzine21]

I was waiting to hear from you. We miss you dearly. I was trying to stalk your chart, but I see it was no use. I've been keeping myself busy to--for the Horde! LOL It's a nice get away. We bought a second computer so we play together now too. I love it. No more MIA missy! Please? Love ya!

[~Sandy~]

I'm glad you guys missed me. I am trying not to be MIA. It's just so much easier to escape then to think about it.I am still walking around in shock mode. I still think I may wake up and it will be Monday again and I won't have had my appointment yet.
I am trying to grasp the "infertile forever" concept and I am just not being able to do it yet. I know the meltdown is coming but if I do other things I can postpone it for a while kwim. The doc said there woudl be "stages" to acceptance and I am stuck in the first one. Avoiding Reality. I have an appointment next Tuesday for the first set of tests that are to be done. Maybe then it will hit me, but hopefully not because I hate crying in public LOL.

In any case I am glad you guys are still here for me. I'm not happy that you are still on this board, you should have all moved on. I am lucky to have you guys that's for sure though





Umm ps. Sarah THE HORDE IS GOING DOWN!!!! HALAA IS OURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sanderson76]

Sandy
I'm sorry to hear all that, but in a way it's good news too. Now you know what has been causing this process to be so hard. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

[Tamaralynnb]

Hi Sandy, Glad to see you are back, I was so hoping you would be holding a new baby by now. But hopefully you will be soon. I hope your tests and surgeries go well