[cocosmumNco]

Trying to conceive is supposed to be a natural process
that is easy, at least, that is what people would lead
you to think. Yet, if you have been trying to conceive
for many months or even years, you may realise that
having children does not come easily for everyone. In
fact, each month, a woman has only a twenty to thirty
percent chance of conceiving. Most women will conceive
within a year of trying but a small percentage of women
will still not conceive even after a year of diligently
trying.

If you have been trying to conceive for any length of
time you have probably been given advice from well-
meaning or not-so-well-meaning friends or family. You
have likely heard the suggestion that you need to relax
and stop trying so hard. Maybe you were told something
like this “I knew this couple that tried for years to
get pregnant and as soon as they stopped trying, they
got pregnant”. Or another common statement you might
here is a story about someone who finally decided to
adopt and then they turned up pregnant.

Is there any truth to this? Does trying too hard really
cut down your chances of conceiving? There has been
much debate about the impact of stress on fertility.
Some researchers believe that stress impacts fertility
but it is not clear whether the infertility causes the
stress or stress causes infertility. There is no
question, that fertility issues can put a strain on any
relationship. For a couple trying to conceive, the
journey often starts out with enthusiasm and optimism.
After several cycles of trying, this optimism may soon
lead to despair and frustration.

Although stress may have an impact on a couple’s
fertility it is more likely that stress is the result
of infertility not the cause. Most couples will
conceive within a year of trying. For couples who do
not conceive within a year or two of trying there is
almost always a physical cause for their infertility.
In fact, 90% of all infertility has an identifiable
physical cause. Couples will want to be evaluated by a
doctor if they have been trying for over a year and
have not had success at conceiving.

What about the stories of couples adopting and later
becoming pregnant? Does fertility improve when you stop
trying? This is simply not true. Although, it is not
completely unheard of for a woman to get pregnant after
adopting the statistics do not show any improvement in
fertility. The percentage of women getting pregnant
after adopting is about 5 percent, which is the same as
women who have infertility and do not adopt.

Can you have too much sex? Does trying too hard cut
down your chances of getting pregnant? Women only have
a short period of time when they are fertile. Having
sex frequently during this period of time will increase
your chances of getting pregnant. Most experts
recommend having sex at least every other day during a
woman’s fertile period. It was once suggested that men
with low sperm counts abstain from sex prior to
ovulation to increase their sperm count. However,
recent studies have not shown that abstaining improves
sperm count. In fact In men with low sperm counts, the
researchers found the volume of semen increased after
prolonged abstinence, but the quality got gradually
worse the longer the men held back."

The bottom line is that there is no such thing as
trying too hard. The difference between a couple that
conceives when trying and a couple that does not is not
based on how hard they try. Implying that relaxation or
not trying increases your chances of getting pregnant,
only alienates couples that are trying to conceive and
adds to their frustration. Exactly how do you try less
when you desperately want a baby? There are no
penalties for trying too hard. If you and your partner
have been trying to conceive for over a year consult
your doctor for fertility treatment options. Trying or
not trying hard enough does not cause infertility.