How far will you go?

#1 March 21st, 2008, 04:06 PM

Some of you have already received medical help for TTC, or are currently undergoing treatment (like moi!). How far would you be willing to take it? What is your limit, medical procedure wise? Would you ever consider adopting or donor sperm if it came to that? Could you live a life without children?

I am hoping this isn't a bummer thread, but I think it is important to know where you stand, and make sure you and DH are on the same page

LindsLuvsSi · #2 March 21st, 2008, 04:13 PM

Dh & I have thoroughly had this conversation......I had to be certain we were on the same page.

The furthest we're willing to take it is IVF. We know it'd be costly, but I want our baby and want to be pregnant. I want to have a life created, that shares our DNA. And we decided if we have to go this route we'd put back 2 embies. We, honestly don't feel comfortable adopting donor sperms and eggs, if we couldn't have our own babies we'd rather just adopt ones that are in need of a loving family and home.

ETA: I cannot live a life without children, a family or being a mommy.

Jlynn · #3 March 21st, 2008, 04:41 PM

We would do what ever it took to have OUR baby!! I am all for IVF.
If we had to we would have dh's brother or father donate sperm. Also Dh's cousin already told me if she had to she would carry my baby in her belly for FREE!!! So we have options. I am just praying we don't need them.

I don't want to adopt but I could never live a life without children.

Celry · #4 March 21st, 2008, 04:42 PM

I don't know enough about the medical procedures to say exactly how far I'd go. I know I don't want to pump my body full of too many drugs. We both completely agree that we'd be willing to adopt, but have not looked into the adoption laws in our state.

Lauren S · #5 March 21st, 2008, 05:21 PM

We would do IVF or even let a surrogate carry our baby (my sister has said for a long time she would do it). If neither of those were a possibility, we would adopt. I wouldn't want either a sperm or egg donor- just my personal preference.

downunderchick · #6 March 21st, 2008, 05:21 PM

We spoke about this tonight actually...
We said if we had to we would adopt, but it would be a last resort as we want our own children. We havent really looked much into donors IVF etc but on the news this morning they were saying about sperm donors and now the children born to donated sperm have the right to find our about their biological father! Not really an incentive for men to donate is it. Anyhoo hoping we dont have to go down that route but we will take it one step at a time. I cannot imagine a life without children.

LindsLuvsSi · #7 March 21st, 2008, 05:23 PM

That's so awesome Jamie and Lauren you have family that have said they would carry your baby!!!

Wish I had someone that would. I hope none of us have to go the furthest we'd go and that we all get our beautiful BFPs!

Lauren S · #8 March 21st, 2008, 05:27 PM

Quote:

That's so awesome Jamie and Lauren you have family that have said they would carry your baby!!!

Wish I had someone that would. I hope none of us have to go the furthest we'd go and that we all get our beautiful BFPs!

[/b]

Thanks, Linds! The only bad thing is that she had pre-eclampsia with 2 of her 3 pregnancies. Her sciatica acted up with the other one. We tell her she's a wonderful mom, but she's not very good at carrying them! So I don't know how she would do with another one. My mom used to say she would carry one for me too, but she's going to be 50 this year so it's probably not an option anymore.

Carmela · #9 March 21st, 2008, 05:43 PM

Sperm and egg donors are not an option for us. If we can't have kids from our own DNA we will consider adopting.

As far as medical procedures so I would likely try many of them. Probably even to the point of IVF. At least with that option you would know the baby is free of common chromosomal abnormalities like downs syndrome (DH has a 9 1/2 year old brother with Downs.)

We are going to start clomid on our next cycle if this one would end.

Quote:

My mom used to say she would carry one for me too, but she's going to be 50 this year so it's probably not an option anymore.[/b]

My mom (and Dad) turns 50 this year too.

LindsLuvsSi · #10 March 21st, 2008, 05:51 PM

Quote:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Quote:

That's so awesome Jamie and Lauren you have family that have said they would carry your baby!!!

Wish I had someone that would. I hope none of us have to go the furthest we'd go and that we all get our beautiful BFPs!

[/b]

Thanks, Linds! The only bad thing is that she had pre-eclampsia with 2 of her 3 pregnancies. Her sciatica acted up with the other one. We tell her she's a wonderful mom, but she's not very good at carrying them! So I don't know how she would do with another one. My mom used to say she would carry one for me too, but she's going to be 50 this year so it's probably not an option anymore.
[/b]

Welcome Lauren!! Sorry she had pre-eclampsia!

Quote:

My mom (and Dad) turns 50 this year too.

[/b]

Mine do too!

xanada101 · #11 March 21st, 2008, 09:49 PM

Um... I will stop at IVF... I don't want someone else's eggs and I don't think DH would be all that keen on someone elses sperm. I want a baby that is a part of the both of us, not just one of us. Most of the women in my family have had hysterctomy's in their late 20' or early 30's (including my sister) or are too old to carry. I don't have very many options in regard to the surrogate aspect. I am putting most of my faith in God that we will do this. I will take some meds, do the HSG, the IUI.... but I'm not sure how much further than that I am willing to take it.
Steve and I have talked about adopting in the past. He's open to adoption and I've always wanted to adopt, just after we had one of our own. We've also talked about doing foster care, which may lead to adoption.
I guess we will just have to see what is in store for us.

ShannonMVT · #12 March 21st, 2008, 11:29 PM

Right now the furthest we would go is Clomid, etc.

Dh has said he would not want to do IUI or IVF. He is afraid of doing something too "unnatural" and that it might have some effect on the baby although I've told him plenty of people have normal babies using those methods. Honestly, I don't know if I want would to do IVF because it would be so costly.

At that point, I would probably rather adopt, because at least you are more assured of getting a baby after spending all that money. Dh has said adoption is a "maybe".

Hopefully we don't need any intensive procedures since Dh doesn't want to go that route. We got pregnant once before so hopefully it's just a matter of time before it happens again!

I don't consider not having kids as an option. I want to be a mommy no matter what!

#13 March 21st, 2008, 11:36 PM

Not having children is not an option.

We'll go to IVF. I don't know if we could donor eggs/sperm, that's not something we have even discussed yet, but we will if it comes to it. We also plan on adopting, hopefully after we have a couple babies of our own.

Brenda04 · #14 March 21st, 2008, 11:37 PM

We would go all the way to IVF, donors are not really an option and neither is adopting so I pray to God everyday that at some point I'll be able to get pregnant.

mom 2 haley & tyler · #15 March 22nd, 2008, 11:08 AM

I guess the furthest we would go is taking Clomid. My dh doesn't believe in that, but we'll see if it come to it. I am thankful that I have dd. Does it bother any of you me being on here since I do already have a daughter? If so, please tell me. I don't want anyone uncomfortable with it. I would understand.

BabyBird · #16 March 22nd, 2008, 12:43 PM

I am with most of you girls here. I know we would do IVF if we had to...of course we would probably need to take a break to save up! We have never talked about donor sperm/eggs but I don't know if I would be comfortable with it. So far we don't have a problem getting pg but we do have a problem staying pg! After my third loss, my sister told me that I would have a baby one day and that she would carry for me if she had to. That was wonderful to hear especially considering she had GD with both pregnancies and also threw up every day from week 7 until the day she delivered! Now that is sisterly love! I am convinced it wont come to that though...knock on wood!

downunderchick · #17 March 22nd, 2008, 01:36 PM

ooh how wierd, My dads 50 this year also!!!! thats the reason im going home for a holiday is for his 50th!

#18 March 22nd, 2008, 01:48 PM

As of right now we will be doing IUI. If that is unsuccessful after a few cycles, we will do Clomid +IUI. If that is still unsuccessful we will do more tests of course, and also take a long break and consider IVF in my thirties. I draw the line at IUI with injectables since I do ovulate and I am so not about having multiples. And we would need to save for IVF. But I am not opposed to adoption, and neither is DH. Although we want some of our own biological children, we also would like to adopt in the future. I don't feel comfortable with surrogates, or donor anything. And we will have kids at some point, one way or another!

wishingxxx · #19 March 22nd, 2008, 02:10 PM

We would consider IVF,we do desperately want a baby,but im in the way of thinking that if its meant to happen it will happen.So at the moment i would say that we would only go to IVF,im 32 though,and he is 46,so we want it to happen quite soon.

jeanbean · #20 March 23rd, 2008, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Right now the furthest we would go is Clomid, etc.

Dh has said he would not want to do IUI or IVF. He is afraid of doing something too "unnatural" and that it might have some effect on the baby although I've told him plenty of people have normal babies using those methods. Honestly, I don't know if I want would to do IVF because it would be so costly.

At that point, I would probably rather adopt, because at least you are more assured of getting a baby after spending all that money. Dh has said adoption is a "maybe".

Hopefully we don't need any intensive procedures since Dh doesn't want to go that route. We got pregnant once before so hopefully it's just a matter of time before it happens again!

I don't consider not having kids as an option. I want to be a mommy no matter what![/b]

We are pretty much thinking the same as you. We don't want to do IUI or IVF.....although I may consider IUI (just have to talk DH into it). DH and I are both willing to adopt as well....we've even talked about foster care to adopt. I also want to be a mommy no matter what