a little venting about the mother/monster-in-law

Jaci_Lopez · #1 January 1st, 2012, 03:21 PM

She's a bit@4. Hands down. My DH admits it too.

Since the big fight last year I have been reluctant to stand up for myself. I lost control and scared myself a little because I was ready to really hurt her. Now I have a new fear: passive-aggressiveness.

When I was growing up I had to be a bit defensive to survive. I had to be guarded and alert. An unfortunate side affect of that is being a little devious and I've worked so hard to let my defenses down and not be that person anymore.

So when my DH monster errr uh... mother came over the other night, I didn't tell her we were pregnant on purpose. I hate her, why would I want to make her happy? Especially when she sat there saying "not my problem" when I noticed there were bleach-like spots on my GOOD towels.

So, when his sister came over last night, I made a point to tell her we were pregnant. BC I know that she and the mother have a little friendly competition over who sees the baby more (even tho neither come over often, thank God!!), and the mother would be a little upset the sister found out first.

And it felt so good knowing that I was about to get under her skin.

And that scares me. I don't want to be that person. But you have NO IDEA what a C U Next Tuesday she is.

Any advice??

nurselochia · #2 January 2nd, 2012, 09:47 PM

Took me a minute to get C U Next Tuesday....lol, I"m a bit slow

It's hard when someone drives you absolutely crazy to not do things to get under their skin. My inlaws do that to me sometimes. I guess I don't really have any good advice. I also try my hardest not to try to purposefully do things to get under my inlaws skin, but it's hard. I usually bite my tongue and try to be the bigger person, even though sometime I want to just scream (doesn't always work lol)

Hope74 · #3 January 3rd, 2012, 02:51 PM

Maybe your DH could be the person who usually "handles" family politics with your inlaws (like, he can break the news about the pregnancy in whatever order he chooses), and maybe sometimes when MIL is around, you could find reasons to be elsewhere. If you allow yourself a little distance, it might be easier to be the person you want to be around her when it's necessary for you to be together. These tactics have helped us a bit, but of course they don't always work. Good luck!