Log In Sign Up

Do other boards ever make you feel uncomfortable??


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #21  
April 27th, 2008, 05:05 PM
Hoping's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,977
I don't think I ever felt uncomfortable in another room because of something anyone said to me or did, but I couldn't handle being in the pregnancy loss room for long. Every time I went in there, for some reason all my feelings of loss came back and, at first, it was great for healing, but then it kept me just living in the past, so for my own mental health, I needed to leave. I was afraid I might have made people in my DDC scared because of all my loss boxes. I have to remind people that 3 losses in a row is an exception to the rule and I did have something wrong with me to cause 2 out of the 3 losses. The TTC room was wonderful for me the first time I was TTC, but the other 3 times, I joined and left so fast that I was afraid that I would hurt others because some had been there so long.

This really is my favorite room. I know I don't post a ton, but I do care about everyone in here and pray for the ladies here. It is SOOO nice to have a group that knows exactly where I am at. I am almost 36 weeks pregnant and still scared as stink and it makes me feel so good to know y'all here understand how I feel.
__________________




Our Two Miracles!
Alexis Jade 5/28/08 and Evan Russell 6/28/10
Always Remembering our 3 angels in heaven
Reply With Quote
  #22  
April 27th, 2008, 10:49 PM
HippyMomOf4's Avatar Hippy Mom Extraordinaire
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tulare, CA
Posts: 13,686
Send a message via AIM to HippyMomOf4 Send a message via MSN to HippyMomOf4 Send a message via Yahoo to HippyMomOf4
I wanna pop in here and say to all of you ladies from TTCAL also, that i don't want to see you all go. I think what is going on it totally wrong! I Love to hear that updates from you and see how your doing, it does give me great hope as well that i to will be there someday. I don't want to think that when i do get PG that i will no longer be able to post there. You are all wonderful and i'm going to miss you all, i hope that things settle down and you are able to come back and feel confortable again. I love each and every one of you!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #23  
April 28th, 2008, 07:52 AM
Danica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4,478
Thanks Brittney, Shannon & Denise for your kind words. I think that you all are probably in the majority on how most the ttcal girls feel and this just got taken a little too far. It's sad to see all the hurt feelings on both sides now I hope things go back to normal soon. For now I just plan on laying low for a while (but I'll be lurking there every day )

Hey Brandi, I thought about it this weekend are am pretty sure I'll be joining the Dec DDC this week but like you said, I may just not be as active at first. It's just scary joining the ddc's...
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #25  
April 28th, 2008, 10:17 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,567
Thank you so much shannon and denise, it means alot!!
Reply With Quote
  #26  
April 28th, 2008, 10:40 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
Quote:
To the girls from TTCAL:
Hey ladies I hope you don't mind me posting hear since I am not pg but I just wanted to come tell all the girls from ttcal about how sorry i am about everything that is going on over there I haven't said anything in any of those boards cuz it really upsets me! I feel that you are all part of our family and I hate the things that are going on I am happy that you all have wonderful BFP'S and I enjoy reading everything you ladies post about. Anyways I just wanted to say I am sorry that there is so much drama over there and that you all don't feel welcome over there. I am not even pg but I don't even want to be there right now!I love you ladies and I am wishing you all the best![/b]
I was gone over the weekend and missed out on all the drama, thank goodness. I just wanted to say that I, too, love all my friends from TTCAL. I love that so many of them have gotten their BFPs. I am very happy for all of you. I love to read your updates as well. I also love the ladies who are still over there. We all went through some tough times together. G/L to you all. I will be looking for updates often...
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #27  
April 28th, 2008, 12:04 PM
..Jessica..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,084
I'm lurking too!!!

I honestly can't believe what is going on, on the TTCAL board. I have not once felt uncomfortable over there. You ladies are very respectful when it comes to posting about your pregnancies, and in chat as well. You ASK if it's okay to talk about the baby and such. I admit, there may have been times where I was hurt, but it wasn't enough to make a complaint to have you all voted off the island.

I hope none of you leave, the board definitely won't be the same without all of you on there.

__________________


Reply With Quote
  #28  
April 28th, 2008, 12:10 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
Send a message via Yahoo to dee68
Quote:
I'm lurking too!!!

I honestly can't believe what is going on, on the TTCAL board. I have not once felt uncomfortable over there. You ladies are very respectful when it comes to posting about your pregnancies, and in chat as well. You ASK if it's okay to talk about the baby and such. I admit, there may have been times where I was hurt, but it wasn't enough to make a complaint to have you all voted off the island.

I hope none of you leave, the board definitely won't be the same without all of you on there.

[/b]
thanks Jess,


It means alot to have you ladies stopping by for support. It is a shame what has happened..and I am still REALLy ticked about it, but there just didnt seems to be any reasoning with some....so I give up....
I could go on and ON......but I wont here.....
__________________















Reply With Quote
  #29  
April 28th, 2008, 12:14 PM
jademyst13's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 5,129
I'm glad you ladies don't want us all gone. It was really hard for me in TTCAL because it happened the day after I found out I was pg. Most ladies stick around a little at least, some posting numbers or more HPTs as days go by. I know it wasn't really meant that harshly, but I felt like it was ok you got you BFP now get out.

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #31  
April 28th, 2008, 01:10 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
Send a message via Yahoo to dee68
Quote:
Ladies, although I've decided to stay over there, I still feel uncomfortable. As I've explained, I feel like it's become a "You're welcome here until you're pregnant, now leave or just shut up. But oh, there's a place for you to post about pregnancy, but there and only there."

Now, the way I see it is that we've all been there. We've all loved and lost and we've all been on their side of the fence. Pregnant or not, we're all members of TTCAL, and to push us away and make us feel unwelcome because we're pregnant is unfair and uncalled for. We contributed just as much as they have. I find it very unfair to tell us we're welcome there but only if we post in a specific part of the board, one that not many of those members visit anyway.

What I think would be fair is to not isolate us. As I said, we pregnant ladies are as much a part of that board as the ttc ladies, and it is unfair to isolate us to one part of the board just because we've finally acheived the common goal. Just because we acheived it does not make us any better or any worse than any of them or any less of a member. What I think would be a fair compromise, and I know we've been doing this already is to keep most of our pregnancy chat here or in the Success Stories, but to keep small updates like after an ultrasound or doctor's appointment in the main board. We should be able to say "Hey, I heard my baby's heartbeat today" or "Doctor says I'll be induced next week" in the main board so our friends can celebrate with us, but again, out of consideration, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS put PG MENTIONED in the title.I think it's fair to expect us to keep pregnancy talk to a minimum, I think it's unfair to tell us to keep it to one part of the board and I think it's extremely hurtful and unfair to make us feel like we're no longer welcome because we're pregnant.

I hope I've made sense. Does anyone agree that it would be a fair compromise?[/b]
For the most part thats the way it was, so I dont see the issue at all.....I just feel it was not handled correctly by one of the hosts, and now the post is removed????? please......will it be posted again in a few months as more ladies get their BFP???
If THAT is the RULE ...then make it a sticky IMO so more ladies do not have to feel like they are being targeted.
I have to say I was really surprised at the responses from some new members that felt we should have "moved on".....ouch.
but then its...Oh dont leave!...
whatever, it was hurtful, the responses were hurtful, the host was all that nice about it either...I'll keep in touch with a few that I am friends with, but for the most part I am done.....
__________________















Reply With Quote
  #33  
April 28th, 2008, 01:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,567
There are alot that are still hurting, and out of respect for them, I will only post updates in success stories. we have pregnancy after loss for what we are NOW going through. I am going to do what Dee said, and support the people I know over there, but give the new members the space they need.

It could have been handled MUCH better that is for sure.

But I think I have peace with it now, I am done with the drama. and I of course will never leave the girls I have come so close too.

But I have this forum to talk about my pregnancy in, thats what this place is for.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
April 28th, 2008, 02:39 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
Send a message via Yahoo to dee68
Quote:
There are alot that are still hurting, and out of respect for them, I will only post updates in success stories. we have pregnancy after loss for what we are NOW going through. I am going to do what Dee said, and support the people I know over there, but give the new members the space they need.

It could have been handled MUCH better that is for sure.

But I think I have peace with it now, I am done with the drama. and I of course will never leave the girls I have come so close too.

But I have this forum to talk about my pregnancy in, thats what this place is for.[/b]
absolutely right !!!
we have made it through the TTC hurdle, now we can all share our stories through our PG journey ...I love it !!!!
__________________















Reply With Quote
  #35  
April 28th, 2008, 05:51 PM
amandakay29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1,868
I missed all the drama...thank goodness. I've only felt uncomfortable in my DDC. It's not because the girls are not wonderful. It's just with my loss I didn't feel like some of them were going through what I was. I had a lot of fears that some hadn't experienced. I was sometimes angry because I wanted to be naive about my pregnancy. Does that make sense??? I love it here. You guys are great. And I didn't post a lot in TTCAL but I felt I know a lot of the girls over there and can't wait for them to join us here!!!
Reply With Quote
  #36  
April 28th, 2008, 08:04 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Hi ya girls


I have been keeping up with this thread and am glad you are all over here discussing it. I am VERY thick skinned, so don't sensor what you type just cause I am here. I wasn't going to post to this at all, but kinda feel like it is okay to now?

Tosha and I will be coming up with TTCAL guidelines. It might take a couple days, but we will get it done. This time her and I will be joined at the hip with thinking caps on. The communication as co-hosts wasn't there before..... and that really is my fault. I am pretty sure that is what created that mess. I screwed up...and I am sorry. I promise this will not happen again

Love ya all.... and for now feel free to post apt. type updates on the main page with PG mentioned in the title.

I love ya all
__________________
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

Reply With Quote
  #37  
April 28th, 2008, 09:17 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
Send a message via Yahoo to dee68
Quote:
Hi ya girls


I have been keeping up with this thread and am glad you are all over here discussing it. I am VERY thick skinned, so don't sensor what you type just cause I am here. I wasn't going to post to this at all, but kinda feel like it is okay to now?

Tosha and I will be coming up with TTCAL guidelines. It might take a couple days, but we will get it done. This time her and I will be joined at the hip with thinking caps on. The communication as co-hosts wasn't there before..... and that really is my fault. I am pretty sure that is what created that mess. I screwed up...and I am sorry. I promise this will not happen again

Love ya all.... and for now feel free to post apt. type updates on the main page with PG mentioned in the title.

I love ya all [/b]
hey there chickie !!!
bobbie, you know you can post whatever, whenever you want here.....
I love ya & the gals love ya ! You know that !!!!
~big hugs & thanks~
__________________















Reply With Quote
  #38  
April 29th, 2008, 06:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Myrtle Beach, S.C.
Posts: 1,557
Send a message via Yahoo to MarykatSC
Quote:
I wasn't very active at first there either, Danica. I introduced myself but said and did mostly just lurk because I didn't want to become too involved somewhere when I wasn't sure if I would be staying, or for how long. The sad thing is, there have been so many losses. I don't want to think of losses, so I just don't open those threads anymor. It's not tht I don't sympathize with those ladies, because I do, but I want to remain positive for this pregnancy, and opening a thread about a recent loss just makes me think about losing this one too.

It's a nice place to be though. A lot of the girls are very nice.[/b]
I was one of the losses in the Dec DDC and I agree, they are a great group of ladies. I miss them, but can't seem to go back and talk. I kind of lost it on one of the girls who was talking about drinking and being pregnant, what an idiot I think that was my sign to try and exit gracefully
__________________
<a href="http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">
</a>
Reply With Quote
  #39  
April 30th, 2008, 12:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Quote:
at first my ddc did.....
Some of the ladies did not understand the fears and concerns of someone who has had a loss.....

and I truly hate the " I HATE pg. women" posts on some boards, THAT drives me insane.
I know it can be hard to be around pg women after losses, but to say that is just uncalled for IMO.[/b]
Yeppers! But not this one....tee hee....
Reply With Quote
  #40  
April 30th, 2008, 12:28 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
My PR is making me uncomfortable right now....
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:00 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0