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I'm devastated


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
August 7th, 2008, 08:08 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Just going to copy and past from my DDC.

Quote:
Thank you for thinking of me ladies. Sadly, I am sure I lost my little bean today. On the way home from the airport after picking up my kids I had horrible cramping (worse than any of my other m/c) and I started bleeding heavier and passed several really big clots and possibly (as the doctors put it) the "product of conception". I'm bleeding heavier and it's bright red and lots of clots, but it's still not heavy like a normal flow even. I think I might need a D&C this time. Even though I had a bit of warning I'm devastated. I'm still going to keep my appointment next Friday with the OB/GYN and if by some miracle I am still pregnant I will be back. At this point though, I'm sure this is goodbye. And depending on what kind of tests he wants to do and the results we get.....IDK......we might be done TTC. I just can't keep doing this to myself physically or mentally.

To make a horrible day just a bit worse, my ex husband's attorney chose today to call me to tell me he wants me to agree to mediation to work on an agreement to amend our custody agreement. Basically, I made him mad, so now he is trying to take my kids. This has been one of the worst days of my life. Second only to watching my father take his last breath while I held his hand in January of 2007. And from the looks of things, it's just going to get worse before it gets any better.

I appreciate all the prayers more than you will ever know. I really hope that no one else has to leave the DDC. I'll be stalking you all. I can't wait to see the pictures of your precious little beans in April. Enjoy your pregnancies ladies. And when you little ones arrive, give them some extra cuddles from me.[/b]
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  #2  
August 7th, 2008, 08:22 PM
*becky*'s Avatar Mommy to Bailey & Camryn
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Location: Kansas City Metro
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I responded in the DDC, but wanted to send you extra hugs, thoughts and prayers.

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  #3  
August 7th, 2008, 08:46 PM
woohoo502's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry hun. It just isn't fair. I hope your doctor can figure out what is going on, and fix it quickly.
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  #4  
August 8th, 2008, 12:24 AM
*Pamela*
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You are in my heart and prayers, I'm so sorry you are going through this again. I don't blame you for not wanting to ttc again, it's takes so much out of us. Don't lose hope hun, we tried and tried and tried and finally said enough......we found out we were pregnant after the next cycle. I think trying for some of us puts so much stress on our systems.

I'm holding on to a miracle here for you and I'll never lose hope for you and your family.
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  #5  
August 8th, 2008, 06:48 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Rochester, NY
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Oh hon... I am so sorry

I wish there were words that could take this pain away from you.

This sucks I was praying hard for you.... I know how much you want this. If you need anything.... just ask.

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Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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  #6  
August 8th, 2008, 07:05 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks Bobbie. There are a few things I could use right now, but unless you are a miracle worker or a hit man, I don't think you can help with them. (I really don't need a hit man. I'm being sarcastic.! just want that to be clear.)
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  #7  
August 8th, 2008, 07:08 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I sooo know what you mean we are having ex-wife drama here. Ex's SUCK.

I just wish I could give you your baby back. I will continue to pray that by some miracle when you go to the Dr that miracle happens. I can't think of anyone who deserves a miracle more

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Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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  #8  
August 8th, 2008, 07:37 AM
Wee3monkeys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Nebraska
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Oh, Stephanie, I'm so sorry, hun!!!! I wish there was something I could do to help you, or take the pain away! Like the other girls, I'm here if you need anything! Please don't lose hope, hun! I'm still praying for a miracle, but if we don't receive it, then at least on Friday you can talk to your doctor and hopefully get some things figured out!! You are in my thoughts and prayers Steph!!

I know it doesn't make you feel much better at this time, but I wanted to tell you that based on my knowledge of the legal system; you're ex isn't going to be able to take your kiddos away, hun. Unless you were unfit, or they wanted to go, he can't get the court to "take them away"; judges just don't do that. Plus, your kids are old enough that their opinion is taken into consideration by any decent judge. I wish I could help soothe your fears regarding this, it's a legal and personal nightmare, but he really doesn't have much hope of having any success in this matter as long as you don't give in. I know you've had a really rough day, I just wanted to....... I don't know, give you a hug and tell you it will be OK.
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  #9  
August 8th, 2008, 08:33 AM
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I am soooooooooooooooooo sorry sweety, my heart is broken for you. Im so sorry!!! You have been through so much, you deserve a happy healthy baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!
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  #10  
August 8th, 2008, 08:52 AM
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I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this, all of this right now. I hope that the dr. will be able to help you get to the bottom of this and get you a sticky bfp soon. Thinking of you!
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  #11  
August 8th, 2008, 10:19 AM
greenchild's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry hun!!! I wish there was something I could say or do that would make it easier. I hope your dr can get things figured out for you. Sending you lots of
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  #12  
August 8th, 2008, 02:46 PM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
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I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I will be praying for a miracle next week for you hon. And tons of thoughts and prayers coming your way.
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  #13  
August 8th, 2008, 02:51 PM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so very sorry! My T&P's are with you.
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  #14  
August 8th, 2008, 05:18 PM
$pryNinja's Avatar Zef Fre$ Mom
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I'm sooo sorry Steph
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  #15  
August 8th, 2008, 05:36 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
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oh Steph! Im so SORRY!
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  #16  
August 8th, 2008, 07:51 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you for all the prayers ladies. I really appreciate it.

As far as the custody thing goes, I'm not really worried anymore. Just angry. He want to rotated years (me have them one whole year then him have them one year) and there is no way I am going to agree to that. It's too hard on them for one thing going to a different school each year. Plus, they don't want to go.

Now I just want to get to my appointment, see if I have a miracle, and if not, figure out why this keeps happening and then make a plan.

OH, and for the first time ever, I actually have something bad to say about my MIL. I know she means well, she really does. She keeps telling me that she thinks I am still pregnant, and when I just kind mumble that it would be nice, she goes on and on about how she's sure of it because I am already starting to show and that she thinks I'm a lot further along than I realize. OK, I know she means well, but come on! Not only do I have to deal with my flipping ex, and the miscarriage, but now I gotta listen to her tell me I'm fat too?!?!? I really don't think she is thinking. She wouldn't say it if she was. I really love her to death but jeez. I don't need to hear how fat I am on top of everything else!
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