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ack! I'm soooo paranoid!!


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
August 21st, 2008, 04:18 PM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pickering, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,208
EVERY time I go to the washroom and I wipe... I keep expecting/fearing to see red there.

I am going to end up with a ###### anxiety attack!!! LOL!!!

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  #2  
August 21st, 2008, 04:38 PM
NeeshBoogie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 586
You have CERTAINLY arrived. I've thrown away the notion of being ashamed of it. This is just the way it is. I am going to obsessively check the tissue. So what!

Not only do I check the tissue, but I have a weird ritual I do after I wipe. I close my eyes and count to three before looking at the tissue, then I stand up and hold it up to make sure I'm getting "good light." It's very serious business to me, but I am able to celebrate every time I get to say out loud "Clear!"


ETA: Yes, I am strange and slightly neurotic, but I've learned to EMBRACE it. LOL!
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  #3  
August 21st, 2008, 07:58 PM
*Judy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: California
Posts: 3,320
I hate to tell you this but the TP checking does NOT stop. I am 36 weeks and I still check EVERY single time I go.
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  #4  
August 21st, 2008, 08:33 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ~*West Coast of BC Canada*~
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I checked my tp every time even with my First pregnancy.... So, No, I dont think that will stop... But on a more serious note, Anxiety attacks are possible.. I actually ended up in the hospital at about 6 weeks, I thought I was having Respitory issues, like, Asthma or osmething.... I felt like I couldnt breathe.. I acutally said to the nurse that in Emergency when I walked in "I cant breathe and I feel like my chest is being crushed, Help me" They hooked me up to a bunch of monitors, etc... and bascially told me that EVERYTHING was Perfectly Normal! On a physical note... Then they proceeded to ask me if there was any reason I could be experiencing anxiety, or high stress.. Asking if anything has happened recently, or even a while back that could be causing stress and anxiety.. and I stopped and thought.. And I said.. Well.. I just Traumatically lost a baby at 10 weeks in may, Got one period, and was pregnant again.. and now im 6 weeks and scared sh!tless that its guna happen again! .. They told me I was experiencing Panick Attacks from Post Traumatic Stress/Anxiety... I Never REALLY believed in Panick attacks... I jus thought ppl were exaterating (sp?), Like my sister for example.. Shed always complain she was having a panick attack and that she couldnt breathe.. Well anyway, I never really believed in them Until that night... I had never TRULY experienced REAL anxiety/panick before until then.. I was getting them right after I lost the baby for a couple weeks.. but then it went away.. it wasnt until a couple weeks after I got my BFP that they came back... Anywhoo, I am starting to see a Grief Counsellor, and talking with my Doctor and hanging out with lots of friends and family, and its helping quite a bit.. I still feel panick attacks coming on every now and then, and I jus occupy myself with something.. Or go have a nice relaxing bath with my Cosmo magazine.. Anywhoo, Jus wanted to let you know, Panick attacks are real, and they are SCARY... But, if you ever really experience them, Talk to your doctor or someone.. The thing that helped me alot was the Dr in ER that night said to me "I know it may feel like you are going to jus STOP breathing, or your heart is guna STOP beating, But never in my 30 years of practice, have I seen someones Lungs stop working, or Heart stop beating because of a Panick attack.,.. It may Feel like, Its very scary, But it wont.. You will live.." So I think about that everytime I feel it comin on.. Anywhoo Im babbling now.. Its jus, I know what they are like, and they are experienced alot my women who are pregnant after a loss...

Anywhoo! I will pray for you jus like I do for every one on this board! Including myself, That we ALL have HEALTHY pregnancies!!! =)

You take care, and take it one day at a time!!! Im ON my milestone day today.. I lost my Angel at 9 wks 6 days, and thats where I am today...
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  #5  
August 22nd, 2008, 05:46 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I also check the paper every time I go. Just know we are here for you throughout all this!
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  #6  
August 22nd, 2008, 06:49 AM
Lv2Mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Carolina
Posts: 7,091
That's just the norm from here on out.... Like Judy, I still check at 27wks
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  #7  
August 22nd, 2008, 07:02 AM
tparum's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i was like that with clay the whole time i was pg. i was so scared of loseing him.
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Allways Remembering our Angels
Angelina Marie 08-02-99,William Dewayne 02-08-01,Thomas Ray 07-30-02 and BabyBean 02-22-08 and BabyBean 03/02/2012
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  #8  
August 22nd, 2008, 11:38 AM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,926
Uhhh....I still look.....
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Angels in Heavan.
Helena May, June 28, 2007 & Alexander Michael, October 11, 2007
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  #9  
August 22nd, 2008, 01:05 PM
~~~Sue~~~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have had a loss but not through m/c and I always have and always will continue to check...
sue
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  #10  
August 22nd, 2008, 01:57 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
Quote:
You have CERTAINLY arrived. I've thrown away the notion of being ashamed of it. This is just the way it is. I am going to obsessively check the tissue. So what!

Not only do I check the tissue, but I have a weird ritual I do after I wipe. I close my eyes and count to three before looking at the tissue, then I stand up and hold it up to make sure I'm getting "good light." It's very serious business to me, but I am able to celebrate every time I get to say out loud "Clear!"


ETA: Yes, I am strange and slightly neurotic, but I've learned to EMBRACE it. LOL![/b]
I'm so glad to know that I am not the only one that has this ritual
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  #11  
August 22nd, 2008, 02:46 PM
JennLynn_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pickering, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,208
I kinda/sorta do the close my eyes thing and look too!!!

ack.
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