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My 10 yr old little girl lost her daddy last weekend. 2yrs ago he was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had surgery and went thru chemo and beat it! 2 weeks ago, he was diagnosed again and it had spread to his pancreas. He was so brave, and went in laughing. Had a 12 hour surgery that went really rough due to some masses on a major artery. He remained in a coma for a week. His kidneys and liver shut down. They performed another surgery and fixed everything. Everyone was so hopeful. He came out of his coma on Friday. Was making gestures and squeezing hands. The family was ecstatic! They left to watch his brothers baby being born. We left on a 6 hour trip to see my little girls friend. We pulled in the driveway and got the call that all brain activity was gone. Needless to say, it was a loooong trip to the hospital. My poor baby didnt know the situation was that bad, we didnt want her to worry. Her daddy didnt want her to see him that way. The family left him on life support until we got there to say goodbye. The funeral was yesterday. He was 33........Her daddy was her world, and she is just sooo sad. We have been building a flower garden with weeping willows and a bench for her to have a place to sit and talk with her daddy. My husband and I are trying our hardest to keep her busy, but when we slow down......or its time to go to sleep......she cries and asks so many questions that I just dont know the answers to. I wish I could take her pain away.
Please pray for her to find peace. If you have any advice I would welcome anything with open arms. I think I cry more than she does. I want so bad to fix what hurts her. Thank you for listening.
Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, your story made me cry for many different reasons. I will pray for your little girl, it sounds like she is a wonderful kid. I know that she will be ok because she has very supporting parents. I also wish I could take the pain away from you and her, all I can do Is say that my heart goes to both of you and I'm sorry for your lost.
My DH dad died of the samething, and I have an uncle that also died of the samething, so I know how hard the situation is. I don't have any advice but I would try to get your daughter to remember all the good things that she's done with him, remember him when he was not sick in the hospital, all the good moments that you guys had. WE are here if you need anything.
I'm in tears too, and a blubbering mess after reading this! How terribly difficult for you daughter, you, and the whole family. I'm 30, and one of my biggest fears all my life was my daddy passing away; I can absolutely not imagine having to go through that at 10 years old. I wish I had some magic wand to take away the pain, unfortunately all I can offer is prayers and my most heartfelt condolences for your daughter's loss. I agree with Patty, I think the best thing to do is try to focus on the positive and happy times that they had together; that her father would want her to celebrate and remember his life, not his passing. Big at this most difficult time!
I'm so sorry Mistie! Your daughter is in my t&p. This has got to be a horrible time for her. I pray that she can find some peace. Please KUP on how she is. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. We're here for you.
I'm so sorry sweetie. I feel stupid suggesting this but are there any booklets from the hospital to help children greiving parents? I still have the booklets from when we had our mc and there was one for me, my husband, and our children.
It will be so hard but time does heal. The important thing is...it's obvious how much he loved her and that love will never die and he will always be in her heart. He is with God now and is no longer in pain or fighting for his life.
I know this would be hard for both of you but why not get her involved in making a daddy/daughter fun times scrap book when you feel she is ready. Remind her that she will always have those memories. She's old enough to keep a journal as well and that may be a good way to write down all the fun times she had with him.
I'm so sorry I don't know how to help. I only wish I could take her pain away.
Crying here too, I am soooooo sorry I cannot imagine!! It sounds like you are doing all you can for her, I imagine she needs you TONS right now. You will both get through this, I wish I could do more, I am so sorry
Oh, I am so sorry for your little girl! It is terribly unfair that she should lose her daddy so young. My dad passed away when I was 18 and it was incredibly hard then. I can't even imagine being 10. I don't know if there are any picture books out there for little kids talking about death and grief, but it may be helpful for her. Your daughter and family are in my T&Ps.
I am so sorry that your family is going through this. It is soooooo sad! I would just do my best to be there for her and let her know that all the emotions she is experiencing are alright. I will be praying for your family!!!
I was 26 when I lost my Dad, and I can't even imagine how hard it would be at 10! You will both be in my prayers.
My kids have had to deal with a lot of death in their short time here, so if you have any questions about how to answer her questions, feel free to PM me and I can tell you how I answered the same ones with my kids.
Im so sorry. I pray that God gives you the words to comfort and supprort your daughter and her needs. So very sorry for your and her loss. May God light the path so that its not so dark.
My prayers are with you.
Thanks Nami for my beautiful siggy!
i have tears scrolling down my face. Im a daddy's girl and i couldnt picture life with out him. Im so sorry that your daughter and your family is going through this. my heart breaks for you all. will keep your daughter and family in my thoughts and prayers...
thank you so much for all your prayers. she seems to be doing a little better. madyson went to school today (she missed a week) i will be picking her up in an hour. keep your fingers crossed! she is scared to death that someone will say something and she will start crying in front of everyone. she made me speak to the principal and ask her not to make her see the counselor yet. she is not ready to talk about it. just to me. the flower/tree garden is finished except for the bench being made. it says daddys girl. i will post pics later, it turned out really pretty. especially when everything matures. i just pray that his family will make a stronger effort to be in her life. she needs them too. my poor baby. she is sooooo strong. after all she has been through, she still worries about everyone else. i sure do love that girl! thanks again ladies.