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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
September 18th, 2008, 11:30 AM
Doodle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Orlando-ish Florida
Posts: 10,919


I know I have a history of home pg test issues; with my 1st it took 7 weeks to turn one positive and even then, dh reminded me, it was a pretty faint line The thing is, i FEEL pregnant. My cervix is up higher then it's been since I gave birth to Bo, it's closed and swollen feeling. Nursing hurts, my arm pits ache, I feel like ive been kicked in the crotch but I dont feel any spot specific pain like ive had in the past with a bad cyst. My nipples have already gotten bigger and darker. I'm having trouble with motion sickness when I drive, falling asleep during the day, am starving all the time, and have a very weird and out of the ordinary craving for cinnamon (id eat it with a spoon if I didnt think the powderyness of it would make me ralph) oh and those of you who know me from my last pg, know i have circulation issues when preggers - my feet are already turning purple-y (mom2nji saw it last week!)


So, today I couldnt just let things be and I took another pregnancy test (I am now 7 days late for AF but i have NO IDEA when I O'd b/c thats all wacky). I dipped an Answer brand in my FMU and it was negative so of course I ripped open the other test to make sure the first wasn't defective and it was so faintly positive that one might think that I am imagining it. I called DH and he talked me down from my ledge and told me that I can call the doc and speak to them or I can give this up to god and wait it out. Being the neurotic control freak that I am, I called the OB _ THEIR ###### COMPUTERS ARE DOWN ~ ! ! ! ! they cant make any appointments till they are up again and from the sound of it, they will be lucky if they can get them up and running tomorrow. Should l i take this as a sign to just let things be? It's not like they can do anything for me. I have already made the decision to not use synthetic progesterone in the first trimester since I am still nursing Boden and he was exposed to high levels of it 2x during his pregnancy (synthetic progesterone MAY raise cancer risk and his is already higher b/c DH's mom died of breast cancer when she was relatively young- DH was only 4)

I feel guilty that I dont want the progesterone - really guilty- but I know I'd feel even worse taking it every day and wondering what it will do to Bo. I am not willing to give up breastfeeding Bo

yes, this was a HUGE MASSIVE surprise, but now that it has sunk in I am elated. I welcome a large family with open arms. I had considered stopping at 3 b/c of my health stuff but then DH had a cancer scare and I realized there was NO WAY I was finished. 4 was always my minimum and I cant really tell you when I would consider stopping- it will probably be something that ends up being medically decided verses my heart.

what do I do ladies? How do I give up this burden and wait it out without losing my mind? After today's tests do you think there is still hope for me?

thanks for reading all of this, if I could I'd pass out Dove chocolates to all of you for wading through all that
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  #2  
September 18th, 2008, 11:36 AM
*Pamela*
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I wish I had a better answer for you but I'm a firm believer in HOPE. Until proven otherwise, such as af shows, then there is hope.

I can understand about not wanting to take something unatural when nursing and that's a decision that only you can make. You never know if things will be different this time around.

Keep us posted on the testing!
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  #3  
September 18th, 2008, 11:54 AM
Eleysia's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bremerton, Wa
Posts: 4,400
Oh hun, im so sorry youre stressing about this, and that you dont have a difinitive answer as of yet

I agree with you 100% in not wanting to expose Bo even more. I think it is a good mommy decision on your part. I dont think youre awful at all for deciding that. I also agree with Pam. Its all about hope and faith. It isnt really in our hands KWIM? If it is meant to be it will be. I hope your docs can get you in soon to give you some peace. Until then please try not to stress too bad about it. Dont feel bad for making that call.

IMO (and this may sound awful but oh well) Bo is already here, healthy and happy, and in your arms. You do not want to do anything to change or risk that. If youre pg, and not taking the progesterone causes a non sticky bean.. its kinda like you have to weigh the risks KWIM? I agree with your decision.
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  #4  
September 18th, 2008, 04:07 PM
Doodle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Orlando-ish Florida
Posts: 10,919
thank you ladies

Of course i will keep everyone posted. Dh wants me to wait a week before trying to POAS again. I odnt know that I can resist buying and using a different brand when I got to Target tonight...
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  #5  
September 18th, 2008, 05:28 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I don't have any extra advice, I just agree with what Pan and Eleysia said.

to you! I don't blame you for wanting to be extra careful about what you expose Bo to. I think that is a good decision. If you feel that it's best, then it is the best decision.

Good luck honey!
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  #6  
September 18th, 2008, 07:18 PM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,593
what the other ladies have said

I wish I had more advice, but I don't... I hope you get some answers soon.

KUP
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  #7  
September 18th, 2008, 09:53 PM
kalis's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: IL
Posts: 6,523
you know your heart best. you have always had so much information when i had questions when i was pregnant so i feel bad i don't have a good answer for you, but i think it sounds like you have researched your choice & i think you are wonderful for wanting to do the best thing for Bo.

sorry about the wait at the doctor. i hope you can find a way to relax until you know something more definative.
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  #8  
September 19th, 2008, 04:46 AM
Daniellea22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: New Jersey
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good luck honey
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