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I am so sad for my friend. She just found out last week that she was pregnant for the first time ever and her and her husband were so excited but they decided not to tell anyone yet, not even their family. When she called me today she was just bawling and said that only me and her sister are the only ones who know anything at all and they were trying to figure out how to tell their parents.
I kept feeling so discouraged because I felt like I should have the right words to say but I didn't. I'm sure she thought to call me instantly since I had miscarried last spring and for some reason I thought that would help me find the right thing to say to console her. But I ended up just saying "I'm so sorry" over and over.
Poor girl. I feel really bad. One thing I did tell her was what I hear you ladies say on here a lot, about how it doesn't matter how long you've been preggo, if it's your first or fifth pregnancy, etc. etc. a loss is still a loss and the hurt still hurts.
I seriously wouldn't wish the pain of m/c on my worst enemy. Such a sad experience.
I'm so sorry for your friend, you are right about it doesn't matter if it's your first or fifth, a loss is a loss and it hurts......
I'm glad you are there for her, I'm pretty sure she's appreaciates being able to talk to someone that has gone through this before. I don't think there are right words to say to someone when a m/c, but being there for her makes a lot of difference.
I agree with Jenn, there are no right words. I struggle with that a lot as PL cohost. Trying to be supportive when you know there's nothing you can say.
But you know what? I think validating her feelings was one of the best things you could have done. I know that it hurt so bad when people just brushed off my pain, or gave me the "at least it didn't happen down the road when she was 5..." or junk like that. Knowing that someone will not consider you abnormal for hurting like you do is an immense help.
I'm sorry that this had to happen to your friend. I'd be devastated if my best friend miscarried.