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My best friend just called me...


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 7th, 2008, 07:36 PM
ChattyAshley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 3,397
I am so sad for my friend. She just found out last week that she was pregnant for the first time ever and her and her husband were so excited but they decided not to tell anyone yet, not even their family. When she called me today she was just bawling and said that only me and her sister are the only ones who know anything at all and they were trying to figure out how to tell their parents.

I kept feeling so discouraged because I felt like I should have the right words to say but I didn't. I'm sure she thought to call me instantly since I had miscarried last spring and for some reason I thought that would help me find the right thing to say to console her. But I ended up just saying "I'm so sorry" over and over.

Poor girl. I feel really bad. One thing I did tell her was what I hear you ladies say on here a lot, about how it doesn't matter how long you've been preggo, if it's your first or fifth pregnancy, etc. etc. a loss is still a loss and the hurt still hurts.

I seriously wouldn't wish the pain of m/c on my worst enemy. Such a sad experience.
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  #2  
October 7th, 2008, 07:47 PM
jademyst13's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your friend, as you know there really are no right words. Just her being able to talk to you knowing that you understand helped her I'm sure.
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  #3  
October 7th, 2008, 11:29 PM
*Pamela*
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I'm so sorry for your friend hun. You were there for her when she needed you and that's all that mattered.
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  #4  
October 7th, 2008, 11:35 PM
..Jessica..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Canada
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I'm sorry Ashley! You did what we would have done, you were there for her when she needed you.

Let her know about JM, maybe it'll help her, since she didn't tell many people?

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  #5  
October 8th, 2008, 04:11 AM
princesskate's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: huddersfield, west yorkshire
Posts: 22,139
Im so sorry for your friend hun sending big to her xxx
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  #6  
October 8th, 2008, 05:11 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I'm sorry for your friend Ashley! I'm sure it helps to just talk to you about it.
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  #7  
October 8th, 2008, 06:17 AM
kalis's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: IL
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sorry for your friend. i am sure it was very helpful just for her to able to talk to you about it, especially since she hadn't told anyone else but her sister.
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  #8  
October 8th, 2008, 07:05 AM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Florida
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How awful! I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. Just be there for your friend -- that's all you can do!
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  #9  
October 8th, 2008, 07:26 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Sunny California
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I'm so sorry for your friend, you are right about it doesn't matter if it's your first or fifth, a loss is a loss and it hurts......
I'm glad you are there for her, I'm pretty sure she's appreaciates being able to talk to someone that has gone through this before. I don't think there are right words to say to someone when a m/c, but being there for her makes a lot of difference.

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  #10  
October 8th, 2008, 07:32 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
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I agree with Jenn, there are no right words. I struggle with that a lot as PL cohost. Trying to be supportive when you know there's nothing you can say.

But you know what? I think validating her feelings was one of the best things you could have done. I know that it hurt so bad when people just brushed off my pain, or gave me the "at least it didn't happen down the road when she was 5..." or junk like that. Knowing that someone will not consider you abnormal for hurting like you do is an immense help.


I'm sorry that this had to happen to your friend. I'd be devastated if my best friend miscarried.
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