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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
January 9th, 2006, 09:51 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi girls, I can't help but notice how slow this board seems...maybe because it was the weeknd? Or maybe it's always this way? I'm wondering where all the pg after m/c women are...surely with the stats being the way they are, there has to be more than just the few of us posting here...I'm wondering if perhaps women stay away from this board as a means of coping...like it's better not to think about the m/c from the past and simply focus on this pg...maybe they just post in their ddc's???
I know I'm newly pg and maybe my feelings will change over time but I actually can't get myself to join a ddc yet...first of all I don't feel very relatable to those who have never m/c...I'm afraid I might scare them with my horror stories or that I will just have such a walking on eggshells type of experience that no one will get it...
I don't know...
just my thoughts this morning. Curious as to what you think?
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  #2  
January 9th, 2006, 11:22 AM
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I think you make a great point- for lots of women, it IS easier to just avoid thinking of the bad possibilities when they've already experienced them. For me, personally, I feel more comfortable being around women who've gone through the same thing as me. Having had 2 miscarriages and NO living children before this pregnancy, it's really difficult to find anyone that might come alongside me and give me the REAL comfort I need by sharing and understanding my fears.

I was like you- I didn't want to join the DDB for a looong time, just because I was at the point where m/c felt like an inevitable event...that my BFP's meant nothing, and that I was just going to miscarry soon anyway. But eventually I learned that every moment counts, and I wanted to treasure each and every second I had with this baby. So I think that helped me ease up, but it didn't happen until around my 2nd tri.

So even still I find it more comforting to be around other women who'll NEVER take a pregnancy for granted, because they know the pain of loss.
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  #3  
January 9th, 2006, 11:28 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you for your reply...you placed exactly what I am feeling into words! I too have had 2 m/c (3 babies lost) and no living children so this thrid pg is very nervewracking to say the least. My b/f is being a bit detached. I know it's because of him fearing this will end in m/c as well as other stressors on his plate. Anyway, I am hoping that this board will become more active for those of us who feel we can't relate to pg women who have never had a loss.
I hope to hear more from you in the near future.
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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #4  
January 9th, 2006, 12:49 PM
hopin4a4rth
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I had 2 losses last year. I do have 3 wonderful kids, but this pregnancy is still very nerve wracking for me.
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  #5  
January 9th, 2006, 02:29 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I do find this board slow. So I tend to forget that it is here. I really should have posted last night, but I forgot about it. Today I had a Doc's appt. Unfortunately they all really make me nervous. And last night a girl posted on our ddc that she lost her baby 18wks and I did not do well. I cried all night and could not sleep. Then today at my Doc she was late and I just generally had a rough time. I am going to try to check in here more often. B
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  #6  
January 9th, 2006, 04:11 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I do find this board slow. So I tend to forget that it is here. I really should have posted last night, but I forgot about it. Today I had a Doc's appt. Unfortunately they all really make me nervous. And last night a girl posted on our ddc that she lost her baby 18wks and I did not do well. I cried all night and could not sleep. Then today at my Doc she was late and I just generally had a rough time. I am going to try to check in here more often. B[/b]
Glad you remembered us for support now. So sorry you're nervous. Come post anytime, I check in like 27 times a day lOL!
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #7  
January 9th, 2006, 07:01 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I check in a lot when I am home from work. Otherwise, it's just in the morning and at night when I get home (like now) I dont have acces from work, unfortunately. It is slow, but I like posting here and getting to know you ladies. I am trying to post more in my DDC, but I feel closer to ya'll...I do find it interesting that the ttc after miscarriage board is always so busy, but this one is a bit lackluster.
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  #8  
January 19th, 2006, 10:48 PM
niema's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with everyone when they say that they rather talk to people thats been through the same things. I started posting in my ddc when I was around 16wks but this was the first board that caught my attention. I felt relieved that I would have somebody to share my worries and concerns with that will understand and not think I was just ''overreacting". Theres alot of women on my ddc that have been through m/c but I dont see them posting on this board. I guess they are trying to only focus on their pg and not past pg's. I rarely post here either but I come here alot just to read posts. I cant really posts that much because my computer is very slow and so I just read alot. maybe I should start posting more. Im still afraid that I will m/c I've heard alot of women posting that they m/c after 20wks and that sort of worries me alot. how far do u have to be along to consider it a stillborn. Will it just fall out like an early m/c or do u have to deliver it and will they let you see the baby. Im sorry Im just very curious, I have a bad feeling that Im gonna m/c this baby and I just wanna know ahead of time. just 1 more wk and 1day until im 20wks pray for me.
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  #9  
January 20th, 2006, 05:07 AM
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I agree that this board is slow sometimes, but it seems to be picking up steam.

I don't think that any of us here will feel "safe" until we are holding our precious little ones are in our arms.
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  #10  
January 20th, 2006, 06:25 AM
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Quote:
So even still I find it more comforting to be around other women who'll NEVER take a pregnancy for granted, because they know the pain of loss.[/b]
Oh My Gosh, Well Said! I hate to see women who could never cope with looking after a baby going out and getting pg on purpose, for the main reason so their men will stay with them...Sorry going a little off topic but i had to say something lol.
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  #11  
January 21st, 2006, 07:16 AM
momma6_2angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If I had known this board was here, I would of been here awhile ago! I have a hard time relating to thers who have not been in my shoes as well. I have had two losses and have 4 living children and am expecting #5, God willing. I am so scared of another loss.
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  #12  
January 22nd, 2006, 02:05 PM
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I couldn't agree more about not wanting to join a ddc yet...I think that I just don't have it in me to be celebrating...As much as I want to, I am sooooo nervous...I have 2 beautiful children, but lost one in June...Even after seeing the heartbeat, so this pregnancy is really scary...I have looked at my ddc, and I just can't be so "happy" like those women, I am more scared than anything...I may not get to post as much as I would like to on here, my 3 and 4 year olds keep me VERY busy, but I try pretty hard...This board is the best, not only for comfort, but to look for reassurance when you think things might be wrong....
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  #13  
January 22nd, 2006, 08:50 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I couldn't agree more about not wanting to join a ddc yet...I think that I just don't have it in me to be celebrating...As much as I want to, I am sooooo nervous...I have 2 beautiful children, but lost one in June...Even after seeing the heartbeat, so this pregnancy is really scary...I have looked at my ddc, and I just can't be so "happy" like those women, I am more scared than anything...I may not get to post as much as I would like to on here, my 3 and 4 year olds keep me VERY busy, but I try pretty hard...This board is the best, not only for comfort, but to look for reassurance when you think things might be wrong....[/b]

i totally agree...we're picking things up though since I first wrote this. So happy to have so many people to comfort me and that I can be a comfort to during this scary time... well not happy that you had to join me in what's happened but just glad we're here for one another. I think you all know what I mean
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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #14  
January 23rd, 2006, 02:51 PM
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I don't know why I dont view this board too often. I usually post mainly on my DDC...but there are times when I feel out of place because of my miscarriages...and my age.

I find first time moms really cute...they don't know or have never been where we've been...the longing for the lost child stays with you forever even if the pain gets less with time. They can't relate...but I know that my wisdom can help them along.

I'll come by more often. I tend not to think of this board because it's so painful to remember the m/c's I've had (2 prior ones...about 6-7 yrs ago). The thing about it is....that being pregnant after having m/c's is a joyful thing...and a very, very scarey one too.
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