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How many children do you plan on having?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
November 29th, 2008, 12:48 AM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I only want Nathan. I have one angel and one earth angel and that is it for me. I plan to get my tubes tied very soon. I love my boy..but pregnancy is hard and I just wanna spoil him to no end! In a good way of course not a bratty one lol..so what about you..how many?
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  #2  
November 29th, 2008, 01:35 AM
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Hi Jenn! 4 is good for me, girl! Actually 4 is too much for me doing it by myself, but hindsight is only 20/20...so it is what it is...

You are getting your tubes tied? You know, I would NEVER try to convince anyone on a personal decision, but wanted to throw this out there because I wish someone had told me all this BEFORE I made the decision to get mine tied....then reversed...This is taken from another board and I sincerely hope you are not offended by my sharing what I have learned from my own experience as well as other womans regrets and lessons...

101 Reasons NOT to Get Your Tubes Tied:

1. You don't know what post tubal syndrome is.

2. You have been told there are no after effects.

3. It doesn't protect you from AIDS so you still need to use condoms.

4. Your husband wants you to.

5. Just because you had a lot of c-sections.

6. Your Doctor suggests it.(or tells you to do it).

7. Your unsure about wanting another child.

8. You might regret it for the rest of your life.

9. Your fimbrias might be destroyed during the procedure.

10. You may never just get over it.

11. Many years later when you think you can't get pregnant, you do, and your heart is broken because you have a tubal pregnancy and lose the baby. You realized by this time the tubal was a mistake to begin with.

12. Because tying can mean anything from clipping to banding ,cutting , to cutting a piece out ,to burning.

13. Because you had complications with your last pregnancy.

14. It wont help your menstrual cycle (it can make it worse) .

15. It can cause earlier menopause.

16. A tubal can be done at anytime. DON'T do it during a c-section. There are moms that had their babies die just as the Dr. finished tying their tubes!

17. You could lose an ovary(s).

18. You could feel less of a woman.

19 .Because you are a single mom.

20. Your mom thinks its a good idea.

21. Depression is a very real side effect.

22. Doctors might say all this sadness is "just in your head" but if you didn't have the tubal, you wouldn't be worrying about it just being in your head.

23. Because you think it will enhance your sex life.

24. Because you heard its reversible.

25. Reversals are very expensive.

26. Reversals don't always work. There are many factors involved in just attempting a reversal.

27. You spend a lot of money on a reversal and it doesn't work.

28.You think you never want kids.

29.It's not natural.

30.You think you don't have enough money for another child.

31. Your friend had her tubes tied and had no problems (This does not mean you won't).

32.A study has shown that woman sterilized during the birth or immediately post partum have LESS milk for their baby!

33. Because its a fool proof means of birth control (there are others).

34. Because you have an unhappy marriage.

35. Because you might win the lottery.

36. Because all your kids could be killed in a bombing of a federal building.

37. Because you could lose a child to cancer.

38. Because your husband might have a heart attack and die at 37.

39. Because your husband is injured in the line of duty and is a vegetable forever, you meet a new man, begin a new life and want more kids.

40. You have diabetes and think it will never be under control.

41. You want menopause to come when its supposed to.

42. Some Doctors think you have worse cramps because the period blood backs up.

43. You haven't discussed it with your clergy.

44. Its against most Religious doctrines.

45. The blood supply to your ovaries can be compromised.

46. In the future you may want to give the gift of life.

47. Your insurance covers it.

48. Your insurance does not pay for birth control.

49. Your car has only room for 2 cars seats.

50. Your kids say they don't want anymore brothers or sisters.

51. People say you're selfish for wanting more kids.

52. You think it will make your more attractive to your husband (not worrying about birth control).

53. Because your over 35 and worried about chromosomal abnormalities.

54. Its not a bartering chip to get your husband to agree to have another baby.

55. Its not a bartering chip for a dr to use in order to perform an abortion.

56. Do you really want to be a sterilized woman?

57. It can RUIN your sex life.

58. Can your deal with the word sterilized?

59. Your parents were holocaust survivors.

60. You haven't discussed this tubal with a psychologist.

61. Its like giving up future babies.

62. IVF is very expensive.

63. Almost all insurance companys will not pay for IVF.

64. Almost all insurance companys will not pay for IVF after a tubal ligation.

65. Almost all insurance companys will not pay for Reversals.

66. Almost all insurance companys will not pay for any kind of infertility treatment if you have had a tubal ligation.

67. You won't have to deal with people thinking you are selfish for wanting a reversal.

68. Were you a whoops baby?

69. Were you a change of life baby?

70. Do you have trouble deciding things?

71. Have your ever regretted any decision you have made in your life?

72. Einstein was the 8th kid of his family.

73. You know an infertile couple.

74. You'll be infertile.

75. Ovulation won't mean anything anymore.

76. PMS might become much worse.

77. It might hurt big time when you ovulate.

78. You'll never be able to look at a guy and say I want to have his baby.

79. Your DO,does not share your lifestyle.

80. Its barbaric: woman are asked to get sterilized no one asks a man to have a vasectomy.

81. There is not enough coconut custard pie to make up for it.

82. The kids you have are bothering you.

83. You suffered from post partum depression with your pregnancys.

84. Your Mom might die and then you wont be able to have a baby to name after her.

85. Because you got the boy you always wanted.

86. Because you got the girl you were longing for.

87. Because you made a deal with someone (your partner).

88. You think no one will ever love you.

89. You had a stressful pregnancy.

90. It leaves a scar.

91. You always do what is expected of you.

92. In your heart you know its wrong.

93. Your doing it to make others happy.

94. You don't realize this is mutilating your body.

95. Your friends won't understand how traumatic it is.

96. Because you can't deal with the Dr. saying "Burned those puppies (the tubes). You will never be able to get a reversal."

97.Because IUDS can work well.

98. Abnormal luteal function may be responsible for the symptoms observed and may also explain the failure to conceive following successful reversal of tubal ligation.

99.Because there are less invasive ways.

100. BECAUSE LIFE IS TOO FULL OF VARIABLES TO DO SOMETHING SO PERMANENT.

101. Although some of the reasons can be turned around ...meaning get your tubes tied..please remember there REALLY IS NO MEDICAL reason to tie your tubes!!!!!
just because you might think you don't want anymore kids you don't need to tie your tubes!!!!
and if the Dr tells don't have anymore kids ...that is still not a reason to tie them!!!
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  #3  
November 29th, 2008, 06:23 AM
Danielley08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I didn't want anymore after DS1...then after DS2 I SWORE I'd never want another one...but...things change...especially the more they grow up...and arent your baby anymore...

its just something about baby clothes
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  #4  
November 29th, 2008, 07:38 AM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We have always planned on having 2 more...but I keep telling dh that 1 more may just be enough
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  #5  
November 29th, 2008, 08:24 AM
braeden&chase'smom's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Tucson AZ
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Funny to think about, when I was growing up and even in college, I NEVER wanted any children at all. I am an only child and have never been around children, I always felt uncomfortable around them, I just didn't know how to be with them. So at the age of 34 I found my soulmate, again after 10 years, and we had our son. When he turned a year we wanted to try for one more, ONE more and that was going to be it for us. Never could I imagine actually having 3 kids. Now I am pregnant with twins!

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  #6  
November 29th, 2008, 02:36 PM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Inititally, I wanted 3. However, DH only wanted 1, so I think we have settled on 2. That is probably best anyways. The idea has really grown on me. I think I only wanted 3 because I grew up in a family of that size.
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  #7  
November 29th, 2008, 05:32 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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DH & I would like 3 or 4. But now that I have my DD and DS I don't know how I could say NO to a child that God wanted to give us. So I guess my answer is I will take as many as we are given...hopefully not 20
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  #8  
November 29th, 2008, 08:06 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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I think that one will be it for me. That's not saying I won't change my mind, but for now, if I can have one living baby, I will be a happy momma.
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  #9  
November 29th, 2008, 08:29 PM
*Judy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We wanted 2 and we got 'em so we are done. I had my tubes tied and so far there has not been any issues with it.
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  #10  
November 30th, 2008, 07:54 AM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I grew up in a large family. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters. So, I don't think that 1 or 2 would be OK for me. I like having all of my brothers and sisters now for support, so I think we will try for at least 3. BUT we will see how that goes, we may change our minds!!
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  #11  
November 30th, 2008, 02:49 PM
Danica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our goal all along has been to have 2 children to raise. I grew up with one sister and Travis had 1 sister also so 2 is a comfortable number for both of us. This will be our last planned baby but I'm not planning on doing anything permanent. I still have to figure out what type of birth control to go on after this baby is born... decisions, decisions...
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  #12  
November 30th, 2008, 04:40 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I'm like Sam. I come from a large family (also 4 brothers and 2 sisters!), and I also don't feel like 1 or 2 is enough. Ever since I was young I thought that 5 was the perfect number. DH and I talked about it a while back, and for now we are thinking that the 5 will include Cora. So, 4 here. We'll see what the future holds though.
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  #13  
November 30th, 2008, 05:02 PM
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DH & I have always said 2 was a good number for us, so after this baby is born we'll be done. DH will be joining the "V Club".
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  #14  
November 30th, 2008, 05:03 PM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
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DH and I have always said we wanted 2, one of each. So we plan to try for one more and if its a girl then we will try for #3 and thats it. If its a boy then we will be done but not 100%. So far we are 2 and 0 so we'll see what the next one ends up being.
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  #15  
December 1st, 2008, 05:55 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
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This will be our last one. That will make 2 for us.
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  #16  
December 1st, 2008, 07:59 AM
*Pamela*
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This is it for us. My husband only wanted the one but as soon as he held him he wanted another. Besides, I am getting too old.
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  #17  
December 1st, 2008, 09:00 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I want 3 and dh wants 2, so I'm hoping for twins on my next pg . It will all depend on how we are financially

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  #18  
December 1st, 2008, 09:22 AM
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Dh and I had always kind of thought 2, but since we lost Abby we might want one more after Hannah. I really just want Hannah to have a playmate. Honestly I think I would like to have more but I just don't know if my body could handle much more. I am in no hurry to have another one because I will just be thrilled to have Hannah here safe and sound. My body is going to need a break from pregnancy for a little while. I think that 3 living children would really be our limit, so there is no hurry for anything permanent yet. We will see how things go though. I hate to make any final decisions just yet.
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  #19  
December 1st, 2008, 01:43 PM
Generally Crispy
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After my first I said NEVER AGAIN. He cried all the time, I never slept. 6 Years later we wanted to have another one. My son and daughter are 7 years apart. Once again I said NEVER AGAIN!!! And here I am. I would like to (Maybe) have another baby after this, but DH is not going to agree to another child.
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  #20  
December 1st, 2008, 01:51 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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now that I am 40 and the pregnancy was very hard towarsd the end, and just plain dangerous....
I am happy with my beautiful blessing and considering getting my tubes tied as well.
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