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I know where youre coming from....I still have bouts of denial.
I'm always afraid to tell my dr that I can feel the baby moving. I keep expecting to say "yea, I can feel it move" and then get the u/s or doppler and have the dr say "oh, but something has happened to the baby...."
I have a cheap doppler at home but haven't been able to pick up the heartbeat. Now that I'm further along we might be able to hear it. In the meantime, I keep denying that this time the pregnancy is going to stick.
I love my 3 girls and little boy:
Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
Susan, I know what you mean. The other day a newborn with a small problem came into the unit, and he was so big and cuddly. (most babies I work with are preemies, and dont look like the typical newborn we all invision). I hugged him and held him and told a coworker, Aww, I want a baby! She arched an eyebrow and said, you're having one!