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The unspeakable has occurred...


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 1st, 2006, 09:21 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
I am writing to you with a heavy heart..................
Yesterday i was in a car accident on the 110 fwy. I am ok...the baby is not...I lost him/her. Both Nathanael and I are devestated to say the least. I don't know how cruel one lifetime can be...
Please don't worry about me, like I said I'm fine, sore and bruised a little but that's all...it's my heart that is broken. The accident was not my fault. I was rearended while at a stand still in LA traffic near downtown. That's what makes this even more tradgeic for us I guess...
Kinda numb at the moment about it all.
I'll be in touch...
Prayers are needed...please....
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #2  
February 1st, 2006, 09:29 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 394
Oh Norina, I am so so so sorry to hear this news. My heart is breaking for you.

to you and your boyfriend during this tough time. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. I know no words can make it better right now. Try and hang in there.
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  #3  
February 1st, 2006, 10:09 AM
hopin4a4rth
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I have tears running down my face for you Norina. I just keep saying 'No! NO!" I'm so, so , so sorry!! I don't know why life can be this cruel. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

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  #4  
February 1st, 2006, 10:32 AM
ladybgg
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All I can say is... I am SOOO sorry!!!!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
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  #5  
February 1st, 2006, 10:36 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Montana
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I already wrote to you, but just wanted to say again how incredibly sorry I am. That's so inadequate, but know that we're all here thinking about and praying for you. If we could take away the pain, of course we would. Please let us help in whatever ways we can.

We love you.
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  #6  
February 1st, 2006, 10:46 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 935
Oh my goodness! I am so terribly sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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  #7  
February 1st, 2006, 10:53 AM
soontobemommyto3
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OMG! That just sucks!!! I am so sorry sweetie. God that sucks. How could this happen to you?? I'm glad you are ok, but I am really angry at God/the universe/whatever that you had to lose another baby.

I'm guessing you went to ER and they didn't find a h/b? Can you get a second opinion just to be sure? I'm so so sorry. Gosh, there aren't words...
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  #8  
February 1st, 2006, 11:04 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
I am terribly sorry to hear this. I can't not express what I am feeling for you right now. I will be praying for you. I send my love.
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  #9  
February 1st, 2006, 11:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,287
I'm so sorry Norina. I can't believe it, it sounds like that happened near my house...
Please rest and take care of yourself. I'll keep you in my prayers. If you need anything, please let me know...
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  #10  
February 1st, 2006, 11:34 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
I was too upset earlier to tell the story but I feel I should in order to answer your questions...
At 3:45pm I was driving form my office in Pasadena to LA to see a client. Traffic was horrible as always...stop and go traffic. I was a stop and I see in my rear view a truck plow into the truck behind me and that truck plow into me...hard. All i remember is my hair flying forward into my face....my neck immediately hurt...the seat belt dug into my stomach and chest...I began cramping almost 2 min later....
Due to the neck injury I was lifted out of the car and taken by ambulence to USC medical center (this is the worst hospital on the planet and if any of you live in the area do not ever let them take you there! It was a zoo)...I kept telling them about my baby and how i was hurting. They wanted to do xrays on my neck first...i wouldn't let them. the dr said, "this is just a 7 week old fetus. My concern is you first and foremost." i began hysterically crying and he finally said "Ok we'll do an u/s first". he brings in this machine and begins doing an u/s on my abdomen. i tell the dr (who looks 12 btw...the hospital is full of residents...teaching hospital) that he will not be able to see the baby that way and that he needed to do a inter vaginal one...well come to find out he doesn't know how....4 dr's and a u/s tech later they get one done...12 y/o dr says "I see the heartbeat" a few times...old dr who was helping says he can't pick it up on the doppler even though they see it. Old dr says, 'i think the machine is broken". Then he says "she has a subchorinonic hemmorhage right there" and points to it. and then walks away. I ask 12 y/o dr "so there is a bleed" and he says' no, no...no one said that". I said "I know what subchorionci hemmorhage means"...and he didn't anser me. they bring in another machine about 20 min later...just as old and decrpet...they now can not even see the h/b...

I have to leave right now for the dr appt. i will finish the story later...
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #11  
February 1st, 2006, 11:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,598
Is there any hope? Liek maybe it was just a carppy hospital/equipment..I can understand going from not seeing it to seeing it but the back and forth is weird...

i knw it was hard hearing "it was just a 7 week fetus".....it sounds so harsh....when I m/c early before I got a similar reaction from the hospital staff....I think its because this early its nothing they can do to save the baby, that hasn't even really developed into anything viable yet so they put you first. I remember being so annoyed at the doc in the hospital until she explained it in a much more caring way...


I am holding out for the best...I hope it was shoddy equipment and shoddy doctors and I hope the doc you see later today can give you comforting news.....

and WTH with a doc that does not know how to do a transvaginal ultrasound.....never go to that hospital again if you can help it..I hate interns and baby doctors, give me someone with experience please.

Prayers are with you
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  #12  
February 1st, 2006, 11:59 AM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,299
Norina, I asked for some folks to pray for you, Nathaniel, and your Angels... I can't imagine why this happened... your story sounded so eerily similar to mine (with a few exceptions), and my heart is broken for you right now. I hope everything goes well at your appointment. Please keep us posted..

R
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  #13  
February 1st, 2006, 12:41 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
Oh Norina, I am speechless. I hate this so much! It makes me so angry! Unless there is more in the rest of the story, perhaps there is still hope? It sounds like those idiots dont know how to work the machine properly. Please keep us updated. I am so sorry. I wish I was there to be with you and give you a hug.
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  #14  
February 1st, 2006, 01:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,708
Oh Norina, I am crying for you right now. NO, this cannot be happening!!! Please keep us posted on how everything went w/your dr. I am praying for you right now...and will continue. I give you my strength to get thru this. Please keep us posted...

In my thoughts and prayers....Amy
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  #15  
February 1st, 2006, 02:25 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
Oh Norina, I am so sorry, I have tears running down my face. You and your family are in my prayers, hopes and I send many blessings. It is just not fair!!!! Thinking of you B
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  #16  
February 1st, 2006, 02:33 PM
*~Candy~*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Midwest
Posts: 15,245
THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry, I am praying for you to be okay --i am thinking of you right now and hoping you are doing okay.

please let us know as soon as you get home.

((((HUGS))))) WE LOVE YOU!!
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  #17  
February 1st, 2006, 06:40 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Ok to continue...after the old decrept u/s machine can't see a hb they tell me again, "maybe it's the machine" again using this excuse. they tell me they'll send me to see an Ob but 'there are no other machines"...
They end up sticking me in the hallway. there comes a time when i have to use the bathroom and they bring me a bed pan to use in the hallway. I said, "i'm not using this here!"...the nurse actually rolled her eyes and found an empty room...then after sitting on the bed pan for more than 15 min my b/f came in and I told him thye left me on it and he helped me off it because there was no medical person around! After hours of laying in the hallway the trauma team sees me and deems I need to stay overnight for observation because I was complaining of abdomen pain and was "internally bleeding"...i told them that the pain was due to the m/c as was the bleeding. None the less they continued to insist I stay. i called my OB who unfortunately was not available and got a different dr on call. i requested a change in hospital's through him and he was a complete jerk...he also gave me the "it was just a 7 week old fetus" speech. I explain to him I did not feel I was receiving appropriate medical care being that they did not have a machine that worked that could tell me whether my baby was alive or not. he said, "giving you an answer tonight is not my utmost concern"...at that point I handed the phone over to b/f and he proceeded to have words with the dr and hung up on him. They take me back for x rays and there's another young dr who proceeds to tell me she's gonna do another u/s...she does it and I can't see what's going on because I have a neckbrace on but b/f is looking and by the look on his face I know there is no hb...the dr AGAIN says "there's no definite answer here either...we just can't tell" I think she was full of ##### personally. She had no balls and just wouldn't tell me my baby was dead. finally they do x rays and clear me another 3 hours later but insist on me staying overnight. I continue to refuse to do so being that they take me to a wing where immediately the staff was annoyed and mean and they tried to kick b/f out. Oh and let's not forget the INMATE handcuffed to the bed beside me. I signed myself out AMA....
I went to the OB today. She was outraged by my treatment and actually cried when she did the u/s and had to inform me my baby was dead. She stated that by the size and growth of the baby it was apparent the baby died yesterday in the accident. She stated should we pursue damages she would be available for court. She gave us lots of documentation and was very empathetic.
I guess you could say i numb right now. i can't believe this is our life...mine and b/f's...he is very upset. most definitly wants to sue the guy who hit me. i know it's an emotional time so we will evaluate this when some of the pain settles. B/f has been amazing...he asked me to marry him last night. i guess I should stop calling him b/f then hun? but rather fiance....
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I have shared all your posts with my fiance and we are both overwhelmed with the outpour of love froma all of you.
i will be in touch...
love,
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #18  
February 1st, 2006, 07:03 PM
CocoHunny's Avatar Foxxy Mommie
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OMG!!! I can't believe what I'm reading...Sweetie I'm soo sorry for what you've been through
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  #19  
February 2nd, 2006, 06:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,598
He proposed last night after all that happened? I guess I understand, it was a highly emotional moment....talk about F%544% up!

darn it, I was praying that the hospital was just screwing up....I can't believe that a car accident caused this whole thing...I DEFINATELY say you sue that guy, get a good lawyer (you should have NO problem, a lawyer would jump on your case in a hot second)

That guy has NO idea what he has done to you and your fiancee's life...I tought that embryo's were protected so well so early on? How awful (((( HUGS)))) Please make sure you guys make this guy pay for what he has done.

Wait then again a car slammed into him right? Well maybe its not directly his fault, he should not have been that close, but whoever caused the accident should definately be brought to task for it...

And I am glad your regular OB is so caring...that jerk oncall has no bed /phone side manner at ALL....

Prayers with you and your fiancee'
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  #20  
February 2nd, 2006, 10:47 AM
MomE212's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Norina I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you. I can not believe you had to go through this. And with such incompetent medical help, they seem like such jerks. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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