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Well, going into deep denial for awhile...


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 2nd, 2006, 11:05 AM
soontobemommyto3
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I got my results back from my 1st trimester screening - yes I know that was quick. Anyhow, my risk for down's is 1 in 200. Last time with Cassie it was 1 in 890 so this is a big jump. The risk for my age is 1 in 220 so it is close and didn't really tell us anything we didn't already know, but I was hoping for a better number.

Anyhow, I'm scheduled for the amnio on the 28th and then it will be 10-14 days later before I know the results. I know it is only .5% chance of it being downs but I already had bad luck with the odds last time so I am already convinced I'll have bad luck again. If it does turn out to be downs there is a really high chance - something like 50-75% that the baby will abort sponteneously because of my age I guess.

If that does happen we are done. I'm not doing this again. If I end up losing two babies back to back in the mid trimester someone is telling me we aren't meant to have a 3rd. I know, I know .5% is a tiny number, but obviously I am still worried.

Anyhow, I am going into hibernation. I can't deal with this, I can't allow myself to get attached to a baby that I might lose so until I know for sure that my baby is ok, I'm refusing to think about it. I know not like me at all, I'm not a denial kind of person, but that is the way it is. I have to find some way to get through the next 6 weeks and be there for my living kids so this is it.

I'll check in a few weeks and let you know the results and what happened. Hopefully it will be good news (99.5% chance of good news).
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  #2  
February 2nd, 2006, 11:24 AM
hopin4a4rth
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(((Hugs)))) I'm so sorry this is going on, but I hope that you will be in the other 99.5% and everything will be okay. Will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
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  #3  
February 2nd, 2006, 11:38 AM
MomE212's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am sorry you are so stressed but try to keep your head up and we will keep you in our prayers. I will be looking for your update.
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  #4  
February 2nd, 2006, 02:27 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Please remember that the test is just odds. How was the nuchel(sp) ultrasound? I did not even want to know my numbers , because I just did not care. I am going to deal with whatever! I hope you do not dwell on this too much it is just statistics. I know it is hard, but baby looks good on U/S try to focus on that. Hugs B
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  #5  
February 2nd, 2006, 03:51 PM
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Susan, sweetie, I totally understand--if it CAN go wrong, it will, right? SOMEONE has to make up that .5%...that's what I always think.

Fortunately for you, I think that the odds really and truly are in your favor this time. I hope so. I know that you're taking time away, but I sincerely hope that you'll come back to update us. I'll be thinking about you.
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  #6  
February 2nd, 2006, 03:55 PM
*~Candy~*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Susan,

I am so sorry, i know you must be so anxious, but it is such a little chance, your odds are better for you then they are for turning out bad. I know you are worried and i would be too. But you have to try to think positive for you and your baby. Please keep us posted on your results...
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  #7  
February 2nd, 2006, 04:05 PM
soontobemommyto3
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thanks girls you are all truly wonderful. My husband keeps tell me that it will be ok, but I just feel so sunk. Don't really know how to explain it.

Jessica you are right on what I am feeling - someone has to be that .5% and last time I was that 1% so why should I feel any differently.

I know if someone told me here is $100,000, go to vegas, put it on a black jack table and you have a 99.5% chance of wining, I would do it in a heart beat. I don't know why I can't stop focusing on that .5%.

Maybe in a week or two I'll feel better... Thanks again girls for thinking of me.
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  #8  
February 3rd, 2006, 06:09 AM
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I know you and baby will be a-okay!!

You know what is awesome though....amnio can tell you exactly what you are having, no matter how early! So you will know before everyone else due around your time what your baby WILL be :-)

it is hard believe me but you have to have positive thoughts :-)
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  #9  
February 3rd, 2006, 07:41 AM
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Susan, seeing the birth defects and problems during delivery that happen, I ca'nt help but feel the same way sometimes. I understand, take as much time as you need. We will be here waiting.
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  #10  
February 4th, 2006, 12:04 PM
Ethans_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Susan, I am so sorry you are feeling this way- it is a scary thing to hear, but I know so many people who were told their baby was even more at risk for downs than your baby is and they came out perfectly normal. My mom was one of those people- on her last pg she was told her baby would most-like be downs and she wasnt. This is why I hate those tests- they make so many people worry over nothing.
I am praying for you, hang in there and keep us posted.
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  #11  
February 6th, 2006, 11:11 AM
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Hang in there! My odds of Downs are 1/40 and I have been worried since the day I found out. I refused an amnio....just thought it was too risky on something that I plan to go through with no matter what.

I feel for you...and I hope that everything goes well. It's hard not to focus on that little percentage...but I have to literally stop myself from thinking about it or I would just get too upset.

Take care and good luck!

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  #12  
February 7th, 2006, 07:50 AM
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((((Susan)))) I have been wondering where you have been and really sad to find this post here from you. Your post sounds nothing like how you were only a few weeks ago. I don't know what to say but you can't give up on that little one yet. Miracles happen everyday!! and turning your back on hope and that chance that everything will work out 100% perfect is just not an option. You have worked so hard to get where you are today and I know how badly you and dh wanted to be pregnant again after ~ Cassidy~ passed away. Take it from someone who has been there and done that, you can't give up. I feel tired too and feel like there is no way I could ever do this again but you have to search deep in your soul and follow your heart.

I'm thinking of you and your family and praying for you all as well. Take Care, Love Dolores.
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