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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 28th, 2009, 06:21 AM
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I haven't really been keeping up on this board but then again I have really just been lurking everywhere for a while. I post some on my DDC but I don't think they understand me sometimes! I know you girls will get this though so I wanted to know if this is a normal feeling or not. I am now almost 15 weeks and I am almost as nervous as I was in the early weeks. Yes, I am in the second trimester so I should be home free right? Well now that I am feeling better but still not showing or feeling any kicks I can't help but wonder if everything is still ok. I know it is good that I am feeling better and I know it is too early to start really showing or feeling anything so this part is really making me anxious. I tried to talk to my sister yesterday and she doens't get it. She has never had a loss either. She was like "why are you so anxious to feel kicks and get big? You will be plenty miserable by the end so don't rush it." She doesn't understand that my body has a history of not telling me when my babies stop growing. I need the reassurance of seeing my bump pop out or feel a kick or two. I know by the end I will be tired of being kicked in the ribs but at least then I will know my baby is alive!

Is this normal for this period of pregnancy after loss? Did any of you go through this when the m/s went away but you still weren't feeling anythng or growing a bump? I know I just need to relax but when I am told to relax it is about as frustrating as when people tell you to relax when you are TTC!
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  #2  
February 28th, 2009, 08:56 AM
.x~KAT~x.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hey hun, im 16 weeks and i still check for blood every time i go to the bathroom! I guess the fear will stay with me until i have this baby in my arms safe and sound! Obviously i have no useful advice because by the sounds of it we are both as scared as each other!! ((hugs))
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  #3  
February 28th, 2009, 08:59 AM
woohoo502's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it is really normal. It is too early to feel anything and just about the right time to stop feeling morning sickness. I know it is nerve wracking. Hopefully, you will start feeling kicks soon. (Although, this just brought on a new set of worries for me) Do you have to wait long for your next doctor's appointment?
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  #4  
February 28th, 2009, 09:23 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't feel entirely safe until DS was viable at 24 weeks-even once I felt mvmt at 16 weeks, it wasn't predictably constant for another month, so I'd be worried all the time. Its normal to feel this way-some moms rent dopplers-I didn't, I needed to trust that he would be okay. ((HUGS)) each week will get better, I didn't feel completely safe with him until he was here and home, and was keeping me awake all night-then I knew he was safely mine
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  #5  
February 28th, 2009, 09:30 AM
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Quote:
hey hun, im 16 weeks and i still check for blood every time i go to the bathroom! I guess the fear will stay with me until i have this baby in my arms safe and sound! Obviously i have no useful advice because by the sounds of it we are both as scared as each other!! ((hugs))[/b]
Actually that is perfect because now I know I am not alone!

Quote:
I think it is really normal. It is too early to feel anything and just about the right time to stop feeling morning sickness. I know it is nerve wracking. Hopefully, you will start feeling kicks soon. (Although, this just brought on a new set of worries for me) Do you have to wait long for your next doctor's appointment?[/b]
I have just over a week so not too long of a wait but it seems like forever!

Quote:
I didn't feel entirely safe until DS was viable at 24 weeks-even once I felt mvmt at 16 weeks, it wasn't predictably constant for another month, so I'd be worried all the time. Its normal to feel this way-some moms rent dopplers-I didn't, I needed to trust that he would be okay. ((HUGS)) each week will get better, I didn't feel completely safe with him until he was here and home, and was keeping me awake all night-then I knew he was safely mine[/b]
I didn't rent a doppler anyway. My OB couldn't find the HB at 12 weeks because of a large cyst I have that was in the way so I got an extra u/s. I wanted to get a doppler but I knew if I couldn't find it I would freak out even if everything was ok.

It makes me feel better that I am not just being paranoid! I knew you girls would understand.
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  #6  
February 28th, 2009, 09:51 AM
ShannonMVT's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was nervous too April. I was a wreck when I stopped my progesterone for one thing. And waiting 4 weeks between visits seemed SO LONG. And then even when I started feeling movements, it took a week or two before they were consistent enough for me to not worry.

But I can tell you now, that overall, I am pretty relaxed. I think about how I am now and how I was in the first trimester and it really is a big difference! I worry a lot less (although every now and then I do still worry).

I think what you're going through is normal. I hope you start to feel better soon. It helped me to start buying a few things or at least planning for the nursery and things like that, because that way I was focused on something positive and trying to force myself not to worry (worked sometimes and sometimes not).

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  #7  
February 28th, 2009, 12:59 PM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What you are feeling is perfectly normal for people who have had a lost. You need to feel everything that pregnancy comes along with so you know that your baby is safe, and you are not going to go through that loss and pain again. We have all been there, or we are all going through it now. I wish no one ever had to know that pain and anxiety..but sweety we are here for you anytime.
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  #8  
February 28th, 2009, 02:19 PM
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Thanks girls. I feel better knowing my feelings are justified.
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  #9  
February 28th, 2009, 02:27 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I totally agree with the other girls I know that part of the pregnancy drives me crazy...when you either aren't feeling movement or it's not consistent enough to be reassuring yet.


It's times like that that I wished I had a window into my belly so I could just SEE what was going on! Honestly, I never relax when pregnant.

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  #10  
February 28th, 2009, 03:27 PM
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The period of time between the morning sickness and feeling movement was definitely the most difficult and anxiety ridden time for me (so far anyway), when I felt sick at least i felt pregnant. It is a difficult couple of weeks and I had a few freakouts. Now that I am feeling a lot of movement things have been much better for me...so I guess just try to hold on a couple more weeks until you feel movement...and hopefully you will feel a little better. I still freak out every once in a while when I feel like I haven't felt anything in a while but then I can usually just quickly count 10 kicks and then at least I know there is still an active baby in there. It is helpful to just hear the heartbeat and if you have a nice OB you can probably go in between visits to hear it if you are feeling really worried. I found that I usually felt much better for about a week of so after hearing it!
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