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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 7th, 2009, 05:43 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Sylvania Township, Ohio
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I'm Holly. Many of you know me from other boards (EMS Mom). I am 29 years old and with a wonderful man named Rob, who is 41. I am mom to Marissa (13), Jonathan (11) and Cody (6). Rob has a 15 year old daughter named Summer. We live in Ohio.

I met Rob a few months back. I was totally unhapppy in my marriage and even though I didn't go looking for anyone, I met Rob. He treated me like a queen immediately. My DDC, the board I host and a few other boards knows my situation and are totally supportive of me getting out of a really bad, strained marriage. Anyone who knows me, knows I did EVERYTHING I could to save the marriage. But in the end I gave up trying because he wasn't even trying at all.

Almost immediately I ended up pregnant. We were scared and nervous. I told him my history of recurrent miscarriage and he told me whatever happened, he would be there for me. Also, we were nervous because we hadn't been seeing each other long and I was coming out of a marriage. But as we got more and more used to the idea, we were becoming more excited.

At 5 weeks I started having some spotting and cramping. Then at 7 weeks I had a BIG gush of bleeding and some clots. I thought for sure I was losing the baby but a trip to the ER showed my little one still safely in there with a strong heartbeat. I was on bedrest for a while, till the spotting stopped...which it did at about 9 weeks.

Now at almost 14 weeks I feel confident posting in here. I am just so happy! I am on progesterone, thhe doctor wants me to continue it. I do have a history of ppreterm labor and birth with my boys so they want to do everything possible to prevent that. At 16 weeks I have to start weekly progesterone injections. While I am not thrilled at the idea, I am of course going to take them if it means a stronger, healthier baby. I will take those until my 36th week.

All my family and friends knows the entire situation. And are welcoming a new baby. I did lose ONE friend over this but she wasn't a true friend anyways. She was all for this relationship and me getting out of a marriage she knew I hadn't been happy in for YEARS (she was my maid of honor at my wedding ironically) but when she runs into my soon-to-be-ex-husband at the store she decides HE is right for me and starts talking to him, telling him everything I tell her. And all the stuff she said about me, calling me all sorts of names...that is the pot calling the kettle black because she had THREE children with TWO different men WHILE MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN! And to boot one night while she was out with the 2nd guy, her husband MOLESTED their daughter to get back at her! At least I got away from my unhappy marriage. And she keeps going back with another man who tried to KILL her! I'm not kidding! About 3 years ago I had to send my neighbor over to her house at 3am because he beat her soooooo badly! But yet I am an awful person. Pfft whatever.

So anyhoo, here I am. If you are going to judge me, please don't. I am VERY happy and I don't regret my decision at all. He is really good to the kiddos and me. And this is his second chance. He was never involved with Summer growing up except occasionally. He was a lot younger and thought of himself then. And though he isn't an alcoholic, he was drinking quite a bit. He has cut that back and he says he feels like he is part of something and can't wait to be a father. He is constantly asking how I am feeling, rubbing and kissing my belly, etc. He has made all doctors appointments he can make with me (when he isn't working) and has made all ultrasounds with me.
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  #2  
March 7th, 2009, 06:18 AM
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Congrats and welcome! I'm Jennifer (26) and just found out I'm pregnant with my first, after a loss in December.

I haven't come out about my personal situation on this board, but I have to say that your story gives me so much hope and inspiration. I spent the last seven years with the same man and we were planning to get married later this year. We planned this pregnancy, but in the last two weeks things have been really bad. He had been going to counseling and stopped. He said he's sick of walking on eggshells pretending to be someone he's not. So if I can't accept him and his drinking then he doesn't want to be a part of our lives. I didn't realize how bad it had been, but this pregnancy has given me a reason to walk away, as he stated he will never change. He is an alcoholic. I hope that one day I can meet a great man like you did and one who will accept my child as his own!

Sorry, not to hijack your post....I just wanted you to know I think it's awesome that you have found happiness after trying so hard to make something work. I wish you all the happiness in the world and can't wait to get to know you better!
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  #3  
March 7th, 2009, 06:24 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Hey Holly!!! I do have to say, I'm sorry that your marriage ended that way. I'm sorry that you weren't happy, but I'm glad you found someone who can make you happy. And I'm so excited that you're not only pregnant, but 14 weeks!!! YAY!!! Congrats girlie!! I'm so happy to see you here!

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  #4  
March 7th, 2009, 07:00 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks! I am just so excited! I wanted to wait till after I got to the 2nd trimester before I came in here. I already post in my DDC. And I was MIA for a bit because there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day.

Brittanie~ Congrats on Reese! He is such a cutie!

Jennifer~ you can do this! This may not be how you planned things but sometimes the unplanned stuff turns out so wonderful. And I'm not talking about the baby, since baby was planned. I am talking about finding out NOW you may not be able to spend the rest of your life with this person. And you will find someone. It may take some time but there are many wonderful men out there.
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  #5  
March 7th, 2009, 11:58 AM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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Hi Holly!

You certainly have come from a tough situation, but I am glad that things are working out well for you! Congrats on this little bean...it definitely sounds like s/he is a true fighter!

This is a great board with wonderful women and I am sure you will fit in well! I look forward to getting to know you! (Oh yeah, I am a fellow Ohio-an, too )
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  #6  
March 8th, 2009, 10:16 AM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hi Holly,

welcome to the board. I am glad your situation is better now !
The ladies here are wonderful and I am sure you will find much support here
congrats on your pregnancy !
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  #7  
March 9th, 2009, 08:49 AM
Wee3monkeys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Nebraska
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Hi! Welcome to PAL! Glad to hear that you took the steps to improve your situation, and are in a happy place now. Life's to short to be miserable over where you are in life, so I applaud you. I look forward to getting to know you! Congrats on your pregnancy!
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  #8  
March 9th, 2009, 10:42 AM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you so much ladies! I am just so happy to be here!
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  #9  
March 9th, 2009, 01:07 PM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Holly! Congrats and Welcome on your new realtionship, and your new l/o! Im very sorry for your losses, and glad you found PAL! I to have issues with PTL, and had the weekly injections, I took this until week 34..and sure enough week 35 here comes my lil man. Im postive those shots helped me to keep my lil guy baking in there! They suck at times, but SO SO SO worth it!
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  #10  
March 9th, 2009, 01:08 PM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Holly! Congrats and Welcome on your new realtionship, and your new l/o! Im very sorry for your losses, and glad you found PAL! I to have issues with PTL, and had the weekly injections, I took this until week 34..and sure enough week 35 here comes my lil man. Im postive those shots helped me to keep my lil guy baking in there! They suck at times, but SO SO SO worth it!
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  #11  
March 9th, 2009, 04:21 PM
Chunky Monkey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks! It's so great to talk to someone who had the injections. I am a little nervous about taking them. It's not that I am scared of needles but every single week for 5 months? Icck. But I know it's going to be totally worth it!
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