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Looking for some hope....


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 7th, 2006, 07:30 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi ladies. Most of you know my story but those of you who may not, I had a m/c last March, m/c'd twins in May and then a dr found that I had a uterine septum which is what caused my m/c's. he performed surgery on me in Sept and was pleased with the results. I got pg in Dec and last week had another m/c. this one due to a car accident. I am feeling very discouraged right now...very angry to say the least..I'm just wondering if there's anyone else out there who may have had multiple m/c's and went on to have a healthy Pg? I'm wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something...like maybe I am not meant to be a mother...which would break my heart but I can't understand why I'd have to lose so many babies ya know, if there weren't a 'reason'...
Thanks for taking the time to read this and respond.
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #2  
February 7th, 2006, 11:16 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,422
Hi Norina, I can not imagine how you are feeling right now. All I can say is that I am so sorry and send you a huge hug. I do hope that you will take some time out to heal, both physically and emotionally. You are a good person, and I do not believe that you are being punished. I believe that we have experiences that make us who we are , unique. Our lives are not easy , but because we hit hard times is hopefully not a reason to give up. YOu are a strong and wonderful women, reach out now to all those around you for support and ask for help. Cry , yell , scream get those normal emotions out. And remember you are enough!!! Actively do your daily affirmations and find daily support. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings B
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  #3  
February 8th, 2006, 07:08 AM
momma6_2angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,677
I have had a few losses and have 4 healthy children!

Here is a story that should give you hope:: My friend Laurie started trying to have a baby with her husband in 2000. She managed to get pregnant on her own but the babies would keep dying. She started doing the infertility testing and no cause was found. The dr suggested IVF. She did that a few times and got pregnant each time. Again, the babies hearts would stop before they hit 11 weeks. She consulted Courtney Cox Arquettes DR and the DR told her she had a 15% chance of ever having a child through IVF. They decided to give up on having a child after 9 miscarriages. They went through all the processes for adoption. Within 6 months, they were listed in the Agency's book as potential parents. They had to sit back and just wait for a baby. Then she found out again, that she was pregnant. They figured she would loss it like the rest. This past september she gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Jordan!
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  #4  
February 8th, 2006, 07:21 AM
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i'm so sorry for your losses... I've had two consecutive m/c's and went on to have my ds and am pregnant again. it can happen. try to keep your stress level down, I had a really really really stressful job and I do think that contributed because within a couple months of leaving that job I got pregnant and that was my ds. goodluck and I hope you feel some comfort soon. I don't think the universe is trying to tell you something, I think sadly that sometimes things just happen . keep trying.
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  #5  
February 8th, 2006, 07:22 AM
hopin4a4rth
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(((Hugs Norina)))) I was thinking about you earlier today.

I had 2 m/c's last summer as you know & so far this is a healthy pregnancy.

I didn't know about your uterine septum... does that mean you have a bicorneate uterus?? I have one too... w/ a large septum dividing the uterus into 2. They never discovered it until my first miscarriage last summer & I had had 3 healthy pregnancies & births by that point. So it's possible to carry a healthy baby to term even with that uterus.

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  #6  
February 8th, 2006, 09:51 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
(((Hugs Norina)))) I was thinking about you earlier today.

I had 2 m/c's last summer as you know & so far this is a healthy pregnancy.

I didn't know about your uterine septum... does that mean you have a bicorneate uterus?? I have one too... w/ a large septum dividing the uterus into 2. They never discovered it until my first miscarriage last summer & I had had 3 healthy pregnancies & births by that point. So it's possible to carry a healthy baby to term even with that uterus.

[/b]
I believe bicorneate uterus is inopererable. Mine was operable so the septum was removed and it shouldn't be split in half any longer.

Thank you everone for your stories of hope. It helps...
I love you all.
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #7  
February 8th, 2006, 10:34 AM
soontobemommyto3
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a mom in my daughter's playgroup had 3 m/c and went on to have 2 children. She had them at 7, 9 and 13 weeks. I didn't even know this until after I had lost my baby. Funny how things like this come out.
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  #8  
February 8th, 2006, 10:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Hi ladies. Most of you know my story but those of you who may not, I had a m/c last March, m/c'd twins in May and then a dr found that I had a uterine septum which is what caused my m/c's. he performed surgery on me in Sept and was pleased with the results. I got pg in Dec and last week had another m/c. this one due to a car accident. I am feeling very discouraged right now...very angry to say the least..I'm just wondering if there's anyone else out there who may have had multiple m/c's and went on to have a healthy Pg? I'm wondering if the universe is trying to tell me something...like maybe I am not meant to be a mother...which would break my heart but I can't understand why I'd have to lose so many babies ya know, if there weren't a 'reason'...
Thanks for taking the time to read this and respond.[/b]
YES!! I had three m/c's before having my first daughter and I just had another daughter on Nov 29th of last year so don't give up it will happen for you..

Tanya~
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  #9  
October 18th, 2006, 02:26 PM
erin79's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Indiana
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Hi Norina- I'm so sorry for your losses.

I'm brand new here and actually found your post searching google for uterine septum. I just had my first m/c (twins)- (a result of my first round of clomid) - and the doctor found a septum during the D&C. I have my first post-op appointment with him tomorrow to discuss removal of the septum.

I have a ton of questions if you don't mind:

1. What was the removal like?

2. How long before you were able to ttc again?

3. How long after the removal did you get your BFP with the m/c after the car accident.

Regarding the accident- I can't imagine... I would not only be greiving, but working through bouts of anger, as well. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and hope you are finding peace and healing.

Feel free to pm me- although I'm not sure how to check it here. Also, my email is elerb@msn.com, so feel free to email me there as well. Good luck to you and I hope to hear from you soon.

Erin
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  #10  
October 19th, 2006, 05:36 AM
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Hi Norina - hugs to you!! I know how hard this is and you begin to wonder about everything. My DH and I started TTC 2 years ago and got pregnant right away, then m/c'd early at about 5 weeks. We then got pregnant again and m/c'd again at around 7 weeks. We had some testing done after that m/c and found nothing genetically wrong. So we started TTC again and m/c'd again at 7 weeks as well. After the 3rd m/c we left our OB and moved onto a fertility specialist who did a ton of testing. We found nothing wrong. The fertility dr we were with recommended IVF but after some time of waiting to get in we decided to leave him (for several reasons) and we moved onto another fertility dr who I loved! He told us to try on our own one more time and he would put me on progesterone from the beginning. That is exactly what we did and knock on wood things have gone great for us. I know its hard to not give up - but try not to. It's not the world telling you anything - its unfortunately just harder for some of us then others for whatever reason. I wish you the best of luck!!!
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  #11  
October 19th, 2006, 07:29 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Norina!! You are in my prayers every night. You've been through so much, but please don't despair. You know my story, and Beckie's, and Rhonda's...it will be your turn soon!
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  #12  
October 19th, 2006, 09:23 AM
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mememe! I had m/c's and now I have a wonderful baby girl, pregnancy was good, delivery was another story but in the end the ends def justified the means!

(HUGS) It can happen for you too.
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  #13  
October 19th, 2006, 09:30 AM
Ethans_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My SIL had 4 mc's before she had a sucessful pregnancy and currently had 2 beautiful girls!
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  #14  
October 19th, 2006, 10:06 AM
soontobemommyto3
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one of my friends had 3 m/c last year after having 2 easy pregnancies and is now 1/2 way through a prgenancy due in Feb.
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  #15  
October 19th, 2006, 12:25 PM
Kiwi*Mummie*of*4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have had two misscarriages but not in a row. I had my son in 2001 and a misscarriage in 2002 my daughter in 2003 and a misscarriage in 2005 and I am now pregnant with our little boy. I do have a relative who had 3 misscarriages in a row then went on to have 4 babies.
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  #16  
October 19th, 2006, 12:44 PM
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I had 3 m/c last year ( after having a healthy no problems at all Son in 2002 )

Once I gave up hope on having another baby, I met this wonderful doctor who ran test after test to find out my problems.

I am 21 weeks pregnant and the baby is doing great.

I have not enjoyed 1 day of this pregnancy but keep telling myself in just 4 months it will be worth all the troubles.

Good Luck hope everything works out for you
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  #17  
October 19th, 2006, 08:05 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((((HUGS)))))

Oh, Norina. I know your story and I think about you all the time. I haven't been able to be on much lately, but I've been thinking about you and this issue specifically (before reading this post). My answer: ME! I don't know if you remember my story at all, but I wasn't "supposed" to be able to get pregnant at all. Once we found out (by accident) that we could get pregnant, they all failed, some late, some early, all without "reason". I'd pretty much resigned myself to "the next cycle". I realized that I never spoke about "when" I'd get pregnant, but "in the next cycle, I'll try"... And even then, I never really thought I'd ever have a baby.

Kannon turned 6 weeks on Tuesday. I had a fairly healthy pregnancy and just about a perfect birth. (Granted, the 6 weeks since birth have been ghastly, healthwise, but a small price to pay.) He is absolutely perfect and healthy and beautiful. I still can't believe that I get to be a mom. I still can't believe that he's not going home to someone else when my "babysitting" time is up. I don't know how long it will be before it sinks in that he's mine and I get to keep him.

I know that your last pregnancy (forgive me for bringing up painful issues) was going well before a senseless, tragic end. I have confidence that you've done everything you can to ready your body for pregnancy and that you WILL have a healthy pregnancy. There's nothing to indicate otherwise, right? You're healed (physically) and ready to go, I presume. Go for it. Keep after what you want. It will happen for you. The Universe would be completely remiss in not giving you a beautiful baby. You absolutely deserve it.
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  #18  
October 20th, 2006, 10:11 AM
tdjjjjf's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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(((((hugs))))) Norina. I hope that I will be able to offer you some hope. I am 6 weeks preg. after having 2 consecutive m/c's. I also had a m/c in 1999 and then got preg right away and gave birth in 2000. That was only one though, andd now that I am on this pregnancy I will let ya know if I go on to have a healthy baby after having m/c's in a row. I sure am praying I do!!!! I'm thinking of you!!

Donna
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  #19  
October 21st, 2006, 02:35 PM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Someone was kind enough to let me know that this msg of mine was resurrected so to speak (erin79 I'll pm you with answers to your questions)...and I needed to really hear this all right now. Just to update you I had to have surgery again in June of this year. it looked like the last d and c I had early in the year left some major scar tissue so I had to have that removed. This month was our first month trying and I am 12 dpo...this morning I tested and got a BFN...I have been crushed. I have been crying all morning. No one understands. I feel so stupid and I don't even understand why...I guess I am mad I let myself believe it would happen this month. I know many people try many months before getting pg but after everything...i guess I felt "entitled" which was wrong but I felt it anyway. I'm scared we'll end up having to do IUI because in case you don't recall Dh does have a low sperm count. I know my RE will do it right away for us if I asked...i was just hoping that it wouldn't get to that...I did everything right this month with the progesterone, the OPK's, the charting and NOTHING! I know there's a small chance it may be too early to tell but I doubt it.
Anyway, thank you for taking the time to respond to such an old post. God really knew what he was doing when he introduced me to you all...
Much love,
N~
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Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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  #20  
October 21st, 2006, 06:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Norina, I wanted to respond to this email as well. I hope I will be a success story - so far I am! My DH and I have been ttc'ing since January. We got pregnant in April and then m/c at 5 and 1/2 weeks. We had one cycle (tried but didn't get pregnant) and then got pregnant again in July and m/c at 4 and 1/2 weeks (we were on vacation in Jamaica and found out on Tuesday that we were pregnant and then m/c on Friday - def made for not the best vacation, that's for sure)...we then got pregnant again August (no cycle in between) - now I'm 14 weeks along and things are going great...I worry every day that I will m/c again, but I thank God I've gotten this far. Hopefully I'll be a success story come the end of April! :-)

I am so sorry to hear of your bfn this cycle - but have patience. Maybe this was the cycle and it was just too early...or maybe next cycle is the one. In any case, I'll be praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts. I cannot imagine how hard it must be...
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