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Loss Dreams


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 20th, 2009, 11:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
For the last few nights i have been having dreams about losing the baby. The first one I was 14 wks, and just started bleeding and two hours later passed a the baby who looked full term. The second dream I went in for a 25 wk check-up and during the ultrasound the baby's heart stopped, the dr did nothing but look at me and say "**** happens". The dream last night really terrified me, I was pushing the baby out and it's heart stopped, they did a c-section right in the room with nothing for pain, but the baby couldn't be revived.
It's scaring me to death. I know most of it is coming from my previous losses,the fact I know this will be my last pregnancy, being told at 19 by some pychic that I would have only two children and from the fact at my second u/s there was an empty void a few cm's from the baby(I asked if had been another baby and noone told me yes or no just that it's nothing to worry about.

I wake up from these dreams crying and shaking. In the dreams the baby has been boys.
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  #2  
March 20th, 2009, 11:42 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
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Oh honey, I'm so sorry you're having such awful dreams. I hope they stop. You will have a beautiful, healthy baby in your arms in a short time. I will keep you and your bean in my t&p.
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  #3  
March 20th, 2009, 12:40 PM
Wee3monkeys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Nebraska
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I'm sorry, hun!! Loss dreams can be so scary. Even when you think you are handling things well, your subconscious comes and screams at you that your not. I don't know what advice to give you hun, except that I'm with Michelle; you will have your baby in your arms soon, and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
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  #4  
March 20th, 2009, 12:55 PM
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There's a part of me that thinks I will never give birth to a baby girl and I my gut says this one is a girl. The reason is I gave a baby girl up for adoption when I was a teen and the three babies I lost where I knew the sex were girls.
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  #5  
March 20th, 2009, 01:02 PM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
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Oh honey, don't ever think that could be a reason. You are an awesome mom. I will pray that you have a healthy baby girl this time. Big hugs to you!!!
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  #6  
March 20th, 2009, 01:04 PM
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Thank you. I'm more emotional with this pregnancy, so you made me cry. The only ones that ever tell me I'm an awesome mom are the kids, Dh and their teachers.
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  #7  
March 20th, 2009, 01:22 PM
princesskate's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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  #8  
March 20th, 2009, 03:52 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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Oh honey, I totally know how you feel. I had so many dreams while pregnant with Erin that I lost her, and with Patrick, I managed to not have one until I passed my loss point.

But losses are NOT a punishment. And think of it this way: the psychic said you'd only have 2 children. But you have given birth to 3.

And...you know what? You gave that baby up for adoption, you didn't have an abortion (I don't want anyone who HAS had an abortion to be offended by that!!). That shows a lot of courage and a lot of love for that baby to do something that hurts so much but would be better for the child. That shows what a great mother you are. And your boys are happy and healthy and loved, that's also proof.

There isn't some cosmic justice that says you "deserve" a loss for such and such a thing. NONE of us "deserved" our losses.

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  #9  
March 20th, 2009, 05:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Brittanie, I don't know why I feel like my losses have been karma. I don't see it that way for others just myself. I guess they horrible things my X said after my 6 losses with him had an affect even though I thought it didn't.
The baby is moving around in there and those spontanous bubbles make me cry because I know my sweet "piglet"(DS#1 nickname for the baby) is ok.
I'm terrified, I want to get a doppler but one I want to spend money one the baby and two I would use it everyday.
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  #10  
March 20th, 2009, 06:11 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nickjonmom View Post
Brittanie, I don't know why I feel like my losses have been karma. I don't see it that way for others just myself. I guess they horrible things my X said after my 6 losses with him had an affect even though I thought it didn't.
The baby is moving around in there and those spontanous bubbles make me cry because I know my sweet "piglet"(DS#1 nickname for the baby) is ok.
I'm terrified, I want to get a doppler but one I want to spend money one the baby and two I would use it everyday.
I think we always feel guilty. I mean, a mother's "job" is to protect her children, and her womb is supposed to be the safest place. And we failed utterly. Especially if you've had multiple losses, I'm sure you can't help but wonder "what am I doing wrong?"

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  #11  
March 20th, 2009, 06:12 PM
..Red..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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But how so you feel when you are awake? Is the baby happy? Your dreams are just your mind letting go of all the fears and worries you have during the day. It helps with stress in the long run even if they are scary. I know as you let the worry go the better the dreams will become. I know it is hard. I have had them too. But I am bolstered by each step I get to because it is on step closer to bringing my baby home.
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  #12  
March 21st, 2009, 06:10 AM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Loss dreams are very scary, and shattering. They really don't help much with the anxiety and fear of PAL. Ditto to what the other girls have said. You did an amazing, selfless thing to give a child up for adoption, and there is no way that Karma would get you in a negative way for that. If anything, you should be rewarded. Also you boys look very happy and healthy.

Congrats for reaching the second Trimester!! You will be holding your baby before you know it!
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  #13  
March 21st, 2009, 09:26 AM
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When I'm awake unless I'm on here talking about the baby my days are so busy with the boys, school and doing housework. During those times of not doing everything when I have idle time while the boys are at school my mind does race to bad thoughts, I'm still early enough that I don't feel the baby a lot, still those little flutters make me feel that he/she is safe. You girls know that feeling "the dread of something happening and not knowing".In my heart I know everything will be fine but it that underlining fear.

My boys think I'm nuts right now, one minute I giving more hugs than normal and the next minute I crying.. They try to make me feel better by bringing me flowers(some of which smell like a skunk) and by doing things that make me wonder how is another child going to deal with it's big brothers.
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  #14  
March 21st, 2009, 04:50 PM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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I have the same dreams and they never get better. I wish they could just go away for a little while.
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