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I logged onto a website I haven't visited in a while. It brought me to "my pregnancy" page. It said, "You are now 35 weeks..." I realized that I had not been on the site since my m/c. I was amazed that I'd be soooo close to delivering a little one right now, and instead, I'm still freaking out because I'm afraid of not getting a h/b at the next appointment, I'm terrified because I can't feel the baby move (I know it's early, but I felt it with my last three by now...I think), and I can't get excited. Then, to top it off, I keep having these horrible m/c dreams. Last night I had a dream that I delivered my little one in the bathroom and then I delivered my angel...I just sat there holding them and crying.
I'm going nuts. I have no reason to think anything is wrong, but, it just won't leave my head. Please tell me it gets better. This was so much easier before having a loss. I wouldn't wish a loss on anyone!!! (I know...none of us would) Sorry I'm such a downer. It's just so hard to try to stay positive all day, and take all of your advice, only to have such horrible dreams or unexpected reminders.
Thanks for listening... I really hope my little one is OK in there.
HUGS Kelty...i know this is sooo tough for you right now and i wish i could give you that little window so you could check on the LO and know everything with him/her is going great. You have to take some comfort in the fact that everything HAS been going great, and soon you'll start to feel him/her moving....i'm hoping that will help remove some of the fear you have and give you the reassurance that the LO is ok. You know you can lean on us whenever you need to - we totally understand what you're going through! HUGS
Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
It definitely gets easier once you feel nice, regular movements. I still remember the first appt that I went to that I wasn't completely scared that I was going to get bad news--simply because I had been feeling him moving and I knew everything was fine.
PAL is so difficult, but do your best to just take it day by day. I am sure you will be feeling good movements soon!
It does get easier but I'll be honest the fear never goes away. Once you start feeling the baby move you will feel better. Take one day at the time and always stay positive.
By the way, I also had those drink, they will go away I promise.